perfidy

Admittedly, not a scientific study.

Well, not really a study at all.

More of an exposition.

This might actually be quote of the month, come to think of it, but it's early yet.

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin

 

Glommed from GraphJam

Speaking of low-brow humor and memes, this, via an email from my ever-precocious daughter: One definition of "meme", from the always interesting WolframAlpha

Actually, it's a pretty old story, but just hit my inbox today, for reasons unknown.

I used to fashion myself as some form of entrepreneur, but clearly, I need to rethink that.

So asks Earl J. Wilkinson, CEO of newsmedia trade association INMA (International Newsmedia Marketing Association) in a blog entry from which the title to this post was cadged, verbatim.

Look, I'm prepared to be first in line to buy the hype. Yet I was first in line to see “Ishtar,” too.

I would have enjoyed the movie more had it not been promoted as a game-changing, must-see movie with two big Hollywood mega-stars. Given those high expectations, I was bitterly disappointed.

At minimum, I suspect the iPad will be a short-lived spark that will spur other tablet revolutions – revolutions that will always be compared with the original (kudos to Apple). Yet the product also smacks of eight-track tapes, something if shown publicly in a few years will date you instantly to 2010. At maximum, I wonder about the “Ishtar” effect – a good product that, through too much hype, will never live up to expectations.

I hope I'm wrong.

Heck, he might well be wrong, but the reason I'm not queuing up at the local Apple Store on Saturday morning is similar to his concerns above. Even if the initial "wow" factor is high, this first version is certain to be subsumed by its follow-on, and by the time that (and it's attendant hype) appears in the marketplace, I won't even be able to fob off my crappy v1.0 iPad on my daughter as I upgrade.

[wik] 2010-04-01, Early AM - Oh, hell. I can't let Minister Buckethead get any farther ahead of me on the technology curve. I just ordered the 64GB WiFi+3G model. I blame my Safari browser, on which I was too lazy to set the home page to anything but apple.com. If it turns out to be a disappointment, at least Ministerette Patton can use it as a beefed up iPod. Just trying to keep up. But I still didn't queue up at the Apple store - I purchased it on-line. So there.

Found in a Friday/Saturday op-ed piece in the Wall Street Journal, this tidbit from Peggy Noonan, while trying to avoid the appearance of a conflict of interest:

...I'm speaking of the interview Wednesday on Fox News Channel's "Special Report With Bret Baier." Fox is owned by News Corp., which also owns this newspaper, so one should probably take pains to demonstrate that one is attempting to speak with disinterest and impartiality, in pursuit of which let me note that Glenn Beck has long appeared to be insane.

Conflict of interest clearly avoided, and a public service offered.

From Reuters:

Nurses' union: Care does not include sex

(Reuters) - A union representing Dutch nurses will launch a national campaign Friday against demands for sexual services by patients who claim it should be part of their standard care.

The union, NU'91, is calling the campaign "I Draw The Line Here," with an advert that features a young woman covering her face with crossed hands.

The union said in a statement Thursday that the campaign follows a complaint it had received in the last week from a 24-year-old woman who said a 42-year-old disabled man asked her to provide sexual services as part of his care at home.

The young woman witnessed some of the man's other nurses offering him sexual gratification, the union said. When she refused to do the same, he tried to dismiss her on the grounds that she was unfit to provide care.

"This type of action is not part of the job responsibilities of carers and nurses," NU'91 said.

The case has been reported to police, the union added.

If you are in a book store and cannot find the book for which you search, you are obviously in the...

Did you hear about the new Octo Mom Breakfast Special?

14 eggs, no sausage, and the guy at the next table is going to pay for it.

Even in a down economy, it turns out. Let me set a quick stage for you:

My wife decided we were switching from Comcast cable service to the still-somewhat-new AT&T uVerse service. Her reasons, while I'm sure good and valid, are a mystery to me.

Nevertheless, after waiting two weeks for an install, she got a visit this past Tuesday morning from the AT&T guy, ready to do his thing. He said it should take no more than two hours. We were having three cable connections in the house replaced, with the attendant three new cable decoder boxes.

Several trips seem to have been required between our house and the nearest fiber drop in the neighborhood, half a mile away. Odd, but no matter, right? It then got progressively more weird - four, count 'em, four trips were made to the house by yet another AT&T installer, each time bringing a cable decoder box to replace one of the ones that Spanky, our installer, found not to be in good working order.

Five hours after he'd started his two hour job, Spanky left, happy with the job he'd done. TV was working at all three cable boxes, and the wireless access to the internet was also working. He'd personally verified it, using one of my wife's laptop computers. I'm certain he verified it, not just because wireless worked on our other laptops, but because when I checked Gmail, he'd left himself signed in on my wife's Thinkpad, to his personal Gmail account.

It goes without saying that IQ might not be one of the top ten attributes AT&T uses in choosing its installers. More on that in a minute.

In addition to flawless TV and wireless access to his personal Gmail account on my wife's computer, he also left the rest of my network (the wired part, in the office upstairs) completely horked. It appears not to have occurred to him that anyone still uses wired Ethernet connections. Dealing with all the wires he'd casually disconnected and dropped behind the desk, while reconnecting the several switches and the router in the office after I'd gotten home from work took a solid hour of my time.

But it was all made worth it when my wife told me "the rest of the story", this evening. How she'd forgotten to tell me yesterday, I don't know, but once I heard it, the delay didn't matter.

Spanky, who reportedly had AT&T support on his most worn-out cell-phone speed dial button, was upstairs near the end of our ordeal, trying to get a good picture on the device connected to the upstairs cable box. My wife walked upstairs in time to help him with his travails, however, shortening what might have been a 7 hour install (how does AT&T make any money at this?) into "only" 5 hours.

The picture he was getting was fuzzy, and it was cycling up and down the screen, for reasons he and Albert Einstein, his telephone correspondent, were unable to determine. Mrs. Patton to the rescue - she pointed out to him that he should be connecting to the 25" TV 5 feet away from him, instead of attempting to get a good signal on my daughter's fucking 7" screen karaoke machine.

[wik] True story.

[alsø wik] Seriously.

[alsø alsø wik] I shit you not.

[wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yër?] On further review by the replay official, my lovely wife, they only needed to replace three of the devices, not four. And karaoke machine has only a 4" screen, not 7", which casts Spanky's ineptitude in a whole 'nother light. The author regrets any inconvenience caused by these inaccuracies.

[see the løveli lakes...] Speaking of inconvenience, this morning (2/7/2009), the service went tits-up, and they're rushing one of their MENSA candidates out to resolve the matter. Tomorrow fucking night, between 4:00PM and 9:00PM.

When you're not sure you can hit a target in single-fire mode:

[wik] We'll never know now, as the video no longer exists.

The email read:

Many of you may have used the derogatory term "dickhead" to refer to someone who may deservedly have earned such a title. Others of you may have earned the title for yourselves.

However, it should be noted that though they are seldom sighted, real "dickheads" do exist in the wild, as evidenced by this undercover shot taken at a pool in your neighborhood.

Speaking of lessons, also from an email this morning entitled "Why you shouldn't show off", this YouTube link which, inexplicably, had embedding disabled, elsewise I'd have just embedded it to save you the extra click.

Because I'm a giver.

[wik] Apparently, Zombies suck at keeping their websites up. I've adjusted the image so that it again displays, but no guarantees into the future

A taste:

luvs2cuddle

Tagline: "I enjoy long, slow, lumbering walks on the beach"

Interests: Lumbering, staring vacantly, cuddling

Dislikes: Sniper fire, barricaded windows, fast-moving automobiles

Note well the disclaimer, however:

Disclaimer: ZombieHarmony is for zombies only. We advise signing up for ZombieHarmony only if you lack a pulse, have limited motor skills, or feel an intense desire to feast on human beings. We are not responsible for lost or ingested loved ones. If you go on a date with a zombie, we cannot be held liable for contributing to the apocalypse.

Please date responsibly: bring a baseball bat or crowbar.

Court rules lesbians are not just from Lesbos

Tue Jul 22, 2008 12:21pm EDT

ATHENS (Reuters) - A Greek court has dismissed a request by residents of the Aegean island of Lesbos to ban the use of the word lesbian to describe gay women, according to a court ruling made public on Tuesday.

Three residents of Lesbos, the birthplace of the ancient Greek poetess Sappho whose love poems inspired the term lesbian, brought a case last month arguing the use of the term in reference to gay women insulted their identity.

...(continues)

Related:

... Straight Lesbians Want Their Identity Back
... Also, a quote for which I cannot, for the life of me, find a link on the web, Cliff Clavin of Cheers referring to someone as being "...from the island of Lesbos", which I remember thinking, at the time many years ago, was both hilarious and totally made up.

It provides a reminder that might be valuable to see more often than once every three years:

Will I Be 80

I recently turned 65 and had to choose a new primary care physician for my Medicare program. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him "Do you think I will live to be 80?"

He asked: Do you smoke tobacco or drink alcoholic beverages?"

"Oh no," I replied. "I don't do drugs, either."

"Do you have many friends and entertain frequently?"

"I said, "No, I usually stay home and keep to myself".

"Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"

I said, "No, my other doctor said that all red meat is unhealthy!"

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"

"No, I don't," I said.

"Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"

"No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."

He looked at me and said, "Then why do you give a shit?

The Onion reports:
Nation's Poorest 1% Now Controls Two-Thirds Of U.S. Soda Can Wealth

Related

It is important to understand English, I suppose. Either that or to get thicker skin:

I had a bunch of Euros I needed to exchange, so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank.

Just one lady in front of me . . . an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars, and she was a little irritated.

She kept asking the teller, 'Why it change?? Why it change?? Why it change??' Then she continued, 'Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get ony hunat eighty dolla?? Why it change?'

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, simply and carefully, 'Fluctuations.'

The Asian lady glares at the banker, 'Fluc you white people, too!'

From today's Onion:

Beer Production Threatened By Climate Change According to New Zealand climatologist Jim Salinger, climate change may result in reduced malted barley, which would limit beer production. What do you think?

Fake responses included:

Heidi Marsico, Systems Analyst "Very clever, ‘Dr. Salinger,’ or should I say, Al Gore!"

and my personal favorite (no offense, Johno, wherever you are):

Hans Weinburger, Secretary "Could this limit the ability of my neighbor to brew his own beer, discuss brewing his own beer, boast about his talent for brewing beer, and browbeat his neighbors into trying his beer? Because in that case this could be a good thing."

Recent media reports indicate a confluence of such folk, participating in an eBay auction, and their leader, Mongo the Retard, apparently had $1,350 at which he was pissed:

Flakey sale nets Virginia sisters $1,350

Sat Mar 22, 8:25 AM ET

CHICAGO - Two sisters from Virginia sold their Illinois-shaped corn flake on eBay Friday night for $1,350.

"We were biting our nails all the way up to the finish, seeing what would happen," said Melissa McIntire, 23. "There's a lot of relief involved."
...

In the oft-simmering battle of relative state IQs, Virginia beats the state of the supposed buyer, I'd guess. Which is a bummer, personally, because he's from Texas.

Apparently, there wasn't room in the cornflake auction for all the retards, however:

Thousands stuck with fake art prints

Fri Mar 21, 5:20 PM ET

CHICAGO (Reuters) - Take a second look at that signed Picasso print you bought on eBay.
...

"Hey, Cletus! Let's get on that there eBay and buy us some signed Picassos!"

While listening to sports-talk radio this afternoon on the Houston ESPN affiliate, I heard a popular locally originated broadcast of the Calvin Murphy show.

Mr. Murphy, a former star performer for the NBA's Houston Rockets, is a bit of a bomb thrower, and spends quite a lot of time talking about racial issues. He's interesting enough that this no longer bothers me nearly as much as it used to. Quite an entertaining gentleman.

For the past several days, they've been doing live remotes at one of the local Dave & Buster's restaurant/entertainment joints, and have had live audience participation in addition to their regular phone callers.

During one of the live audience segments, a guest took the mike and explained that, as a young black man (27 years old), he'd experienced the sting of racial prejudice for most of his life. He claimed (and sounded) to be well-educated, was planning a career in the ministry, and spoke clearly and eloquently about the times in Oklahoma where, while at white friends' houses, he was asked to sit on the floor rather than on the furniture, and of other times, while working in child-care environments (at his church?), where he was reassigned at the request of white parents whose kids were intimidated by his presence.

Calvin Murphy was, metaphorically at least, playing along and pointing out that "See? Even young, well-educated black men are still subjected to unfair discrimination based solely on their race", or sentiments to that effect.

Calvin's #2 (the actual radio guy who works full time at the station), Dave Tepper, to his eternal credit, stepped in and said, (paraphrased from memory):

"Pardon me, but I'd like to ask a question, as the designated white guy here. You're a pretty large man - about how much do you weigh?"

To which the young man allowed as how he tipped the scales at somewhere between 470 and 500 lbs.

After which, they went a commercial break and, I presume, discussed amongst themselves their certitude that, sure, yeah - he was considered intimidating to small children and was asked to stay off the furniture because he was black.

By those nasty Oklahomans.

[wik] Not directly related, but in the same galaxy