Patton
Of course he smacked you. You were crying.
Patton is a titan of industry, and generally speaking just an all-around titan. He is scheduled to be eaten by his thunderbolt-spewing offspring sometime in the next age. Read his fake blogging here. Patton is distantly related to the much more famous General Patton. He also has the same name as the lead singer of the kick ass late eighties band, Faith No More. Sadly, this Mike Patton only blogs. Patton disdains all racial and ethnic categorization, but proudly considers himself a Lucre-American. He also likes Daisies. But not all flowers, just daisies. Here's how he feels about tulips, for instance:
