August 2004

Tuesday clearinghouse: news of the weird and stupid

Canadian MP: We "damned American" "bastards" [sic] are now also a "coalition of idiots. Jeez... if you want the Stanley Cup to stay in Canada, field team that can play already...

Drunken Georgia man hits telephone pole, decapitates friend, drives home with headless body. Sez loyal reader #00017 EDog, "“Gee, I thought he was kind of quiet on the drive home…”

Not even in Montana can you festoon a fence with bras and expect to get away with it. All your property rights are belong to us.

Further proof the Republican Party is painfully unhip, possibly through not fault of their own: "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the Convention, star of screen and smaller screen, Ron... Sil-ver!" Ron Silver? Now that's Star Power!

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 1

9/11

I've been watching the Republican National Convention on the news; and while I have no real desire to turn this into some sort of simulblog experience, I was struck by the tribute to 9/11 that happened immediately following McCain's speech. It was moving. One thing in particular - Deena Burnett said (I'm paraphrasing) that heroes were not created that day, but that the lifelong practice of virtue led to their actions - the decision to do something. This is true.

And we have seen over the last couple years a growing reluctance to remember the events of 9/11. It is a virtue to look reality in the face. Many have criticized the the Republicans for an expected focus on 9/11 at the convention, saying that it is almost sinful that the Republicans are draping themselves with the events of that terrible day for political gain. But as I think on it, I am truly awestruck that the entire Democratic convention made so little reference to the single most important event of the last decade - and one of the most important in our history.

Naturally, there is political gain for the Republicans in reminding America of the events of that day. And Democrats are naturally leery of bringing up a subject that will bring to mind images on the whole favorable to their opponents. But this is completely beside the point. If our elections are in part referendums on the direction our nation should take - and they should be - then discussions of 9/11 are not merely acceptable, but necessary.

But Kerry has made a thirty year old war the focus of his campaign and convention. Talking about 9/11 focuses us on the realities of this world and its future. Talk about Vietnam (from Kerry or his critics) not only tells us nothing about the future and Kerry's plans for it, but actively distracts us from it. Not talking about 9/11 creates an intentional delusion; one where we forget that we were brutally attacked without cause, forget that there is a real threat not eliminated by our many victories, and where we pretend that history has ended.

I think also that the controversy over Vietnam is strangely appropriate. Given the way the Democratic primaries played out, and the protests - there is very much a sixties feel to the left side of this election. The fact that a large part of Kerry's support looks like they are attempting to channel the antiwar movement of the sixties makes it seem important to define where Kerry actually stands on the issues of that time. But if Kerry is to make any headway and reverse his recent slide in the polls he will have to offer something more than four months of combat and saying that everything the president does is wrong.

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 6

"It's -- my job is to like think beyond the immediate."

"I mentioned early on that I recognize there are hurdles, and we're gonna achieve those hurdles." Special Johno crony and drummer Big Dig Jay has offered this rich batch of Presidenty (Presidentiary?) quote-mangling for your pleasure. No matter what you think of the guy, this is funny: "I believe that people whose skins aren't necessarily -- are, you know -- a different color than white can self-govern."

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 1

On aesthetic recombinantcy

It occurs to me that I should clarify some intellectual slippage in my post on the music of the early 1990s. Why is it better, subjectively, that Kurt Cobain draw on the Pixies “Doolittle,” than for, say, Franz Ferdinand to pretend that Gang of Four didn’t do what they do first?

Up front, I will say this: I don’t know. Aside from murky arguments about aesthetic purity, integrity, and honesty, all of which amount to so much handwaving, there is no concrete reason that one should be considered better, more legitimate than the other. At the end of the day, all music is derivative. It has to be. Just as there are maybe a dozen stock plots that drive 99% of all the popular novels and TV shows out there (not to mention all Shakespeare’s plays, etc. etc.), all of which are clichéd and hoary, there’s only so far you can go with twelve notes and four beats to the bar.

In fact, music should be derivative. If it weren’t, it wouldn’t be enjoyable. Without ties to prior experience, a piece of music exists in a cultural/historical vacuum, and people don’t like that. By nature and by training, people prefer to experience things that remind them of other things. I’m not enough of a philosopher to posit this as true for the entire range of human experiences, but even when people “try something new,” they enjoy it best when it can be tied in some way to something they already know.

Just look at Mozart. Although arguably the greatest composer of the high-Classical period, he wasn’t doing much that was terribly new. The rules of harmony he clung to were codified by Bach, he took lessons from the brother of Haydn, and his melodies relied on certain stock constructions that, though his own, he reused time and time again. And yet the whole is much greater than the sum of its parts.

When music is consciously totally new, it tends to either suck, or gain a cult/academic following that proves the rule that most people like new things. Schoenberg, Webern, and Berg, for example, saw twelve-tone serial music as not only the conscious next step in the evolution of Western music, but as a total and revolutionary break with the past. The results are, to the average listener, at best unlistenable and at worst aggressively off-putting. It is not too often these days that you hear serial music on the radio.

This is so because purely serial compositions eschew any connection with the past save one: the acceptance of the twelve tones of the chromatic scale. Later composers, of course, went farther. In college, I was a big fan of a piece by French/Greek composer Iannis Xenakis that sounded like an air duct. But, again, I was a music major and have spent a lot of time seeking out ostensibly “new” sounds. I’m an exception that proves the rule.

The debate, then, is really about the balance between "just novel enough" and "boring." Nirvana: just novel enough. Sum 47: boring. Truth: subjective.

[wik] I’ve written about related matters [url= here, and have been carrying on a conversation in my own head for at least ten years now. I probably need to get out more.

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 2

Blast from the past

Today's posting reminds me of this solemn creed:

I believe in Iggy, Jimi, Chryssie, and Joe Strummer, the Parents Almighty, Creator of heaven on earth; I believe in Malcolm McClaren and Sid Vicious, His only Son. I believe in punk, lo-fi and gangsta, indie, post-punk, indie-pop, rock, singer-songwriter, and insurgent country, conceived by Uncle Tupelo, born of Jeff Tweedy who suffers, as does Lou Barlow. I believe in Squirrelbait and Johnny Cash. I believe in the Motor City. I will respectfully love and fear Tad. I believe in Superchunk and PJ Harvey. I believe in new bands and will never pretend to know music I have never heard, so my mind may stay open and I will sitteth at the right hand of Mission of Burma so I may one day ascend to heaven, where I will be greeted by Sonic Youth, Eazy-E, and Mike Watt. I will not listen to rock critics, but trust my own ears. I believe in DIY, zines, Yo La Tengo, the communion of Saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of Cobain, and rock everlasting. Amen.

Rock be with you.
And also with you.

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 0

Unreconstructed Nostalgia

Weren't the Nineties grand?
Okay, I can't just leave that to lie there like some bluegill gasping for air in the bottom of a rowboat. The long version of that thought is: "now that early '90's revivalism is in full swing-- Clintonian centrism, the indignant crusades of the post-Moral Majority moral minority, localized genocide, war in Iraq, apres-boom recession blues-- it's interesting (to me at least) to take a look back at the music of the early 1990s and see how it has aged in relation to what we gots today.

Popular music in its time is like a flea market. Even the most discerning buyer is hard pressed to identify the good stuff, the real finds, the million-dollar tea sets, in among all the crapulous junk exuded from a thousand moldy basements. For every Nirvana, there are a dozen Nerf Herders, Candleboxes, Collective Souls, and Four Nontalented Non Blondeses. It's only in retrospect that the really good stuff can shine through.

Case in point: the early to mid 90s. Listening to a whole set of the best of the period all at once, like I get to do whenever WFNX, the local 'alternative' station runs a 90's lunch, makes it seem like rock music hit a high water mark around 1995 and that everything since is a recession. (Hell, for all I know that could be true. I can't think of one band-- even one single-- in the last four years that's as indelible as Smashing Pumpkins' "Tonight.") I bring this up because I was recently poleaxed by Hole's "Doll Parts." I haven't heard that song in years, at least not that I can remember, and I can't believe how well it has aged. Back when it came out, Hole was just another part-girl 'grunge' band right along with L7 and Four Non-Blondes. and Courtney Love was the new Yoko Ono. Now "Doll Parts" seems absolutely perfect-- timely, relevant, tough, freaky and disturbing, without a whiff of quaintness-- and underscores the appearance that nobody today is doing it as well. What the hell? Is it possible that rock music managed to go for ten years without noticing that it's run off a cliff?

It seems to me that since about 1996 all the forward momentum in pop music has been on the hip-hop/soul side of things as Timbaland, Missy Elliott, Jay-Z, The Ruff Riders, the Dirty South crew, Eminem, LA Reid, Irv Gotti, and even Clive Davis have moved the state of the art forward by leaps and bounds while rock stays stuck in a rut. Aside from critical darlings (Radiohead and their clones, Coldplay), rock is a revival act now. The White Stripes worship "Electric Mud." Franz Ferdinand worship Gang of Four. Queens of the Stone Age worship Foghat. Creed worship Jesus (and, to a lesser extent, Collective Soul). Even Radiohead bear more of a debt to Bowie, Pink Floyd, and Brian Eno then they like to let on. And, yes, I will grant that Courtney Love took all the cues for "Live Through This" from "Nevermind," which in turn was pretty much the Pixies "Doolittle" all over again, but such first-hand piracy is different from today's nostalgia acts pretending that New Wave never actually happened the first time.

My assignment to you: prove me wrong, children! Prove me wrong! Is it possible that rock's forward progress stopped around the time Rage Against the Machine released "Bomb Track" and Smashing Pumpkins broke up?

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 8

I...*bash*.... want my ...*crunch* *thwack*... MP....*smack*...3!

Don't ever take anything away from addict in training Arleen Mathers of Memphis, TN. Loyal Ministry reader #00017 EDog sent me the following story, which should stand as a cautionary tale to anyone who thinks that music is "just a hobby" with some people.

Cough. Ahem.

Pod Used In Domestic Homicide
Friday, March 5, 2004 Posted: 4:50 PM EST (1450 GMT)

MEMPHIS, TENNESSEE (HLN) - A Memphis woman was arrested and charged with first-degree murder after she bludgeoned her boyfriend to death with an iPod.

Arleen Mathers, 23, was arrested Thursday morning after she called Memphis Police and said she had killed her boyfriend, according to a Sheriff’s Department report. When deputies arrived at Mathers’ apartment at 528 Poplar Avenue, Mathers led them to the body of her boyfriend, Brad Pulaski, 27.

Brad Pulaski had died of blunt trauma to the head after being repeatedly bludgeoned with an iPod, a popular MP3 player produced by Apple. Police said no motive has been confirmed, although evidence suggested the murder was the result of a domestic dispute after Pulaski erased the contents of Mathers’ iPod.

According to law officers, Mathers was hysterical when police arrived and told them that she killed her boyfriend only after he accused her of illegally downloading music and erased about 2,000 of her MP3s. Mathers complained that it took 3 months to build her music collection.

An autopsy performed Friday afternoon at Methodist Hospital showed that Brad Pulaski had been beat multiple times in the face and chest by a blunt metal object, and died of internal bleeding, said Dr. Felix Klamut, deputy coroner.

According to Apple’s website, the iPod is partially made of a hard metal plate that’s been praised for it’s resistance to regular wear and tear, like drops and coffee spills. “It took him a while to die,” Dr. Klamut said. “She must have stabbed him 40 to 80 times with that iPod. His death was not instantaneous, that’s for sure”

Arleen Mathers was arraigned Friday night by a video hookup from the county jail. Municipal Court Judge Simon Lambert set her bond at $600,000 and scheduled a preliminary hearing for March 9.

I have to wonder.... those IPods are durable little things. D'you think hers still works?

In honor of Arleen Mathers, winner of the August edition of the infrequently awarded Perfidious Prize for Inadvertant or Vertant Asshattery, I have included below the fold a mix of suitable music in her honor.

Cutting Crew: "(I Just) Died In Your Arms Tonight"
Hall & Oates: "Man Eater"
Queen: "Killer Queen"
Ramones: "Beat On The Brat"
Neil Young & Crazy Horse: "Down By The River"
Prodigy: "Smack My Bitch Up"
Johnny Cash: "Folsom Prison Blues"
Willie Nelson: "Crazy"
Flaming Lips: "Should We Keep The Severed Head Alive?"
Ella Fitzgerald: "Everything I've Got (Belongs To You)"
Elvis Costello: "Psycho"
Chemlab: "Blunt Force Trauma"
Guns 'N' Roses: "I Used To Love Her"
The Gamma Scalpers: "If You Touch My Mp3 Player Again I'll Bash Your Freaking Head In!"

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 1

This next one is called "Don't Drink The Water"

In what has been explained as a "public rehearsal of material for our new album," the Dave Matthews band dumped 800 pounds of human waste from their tour bus into the Illinois river on August 8, scoring a direct hit on a tour boat passing below. The state of Illinois is suing the band for sanitation and waterway violations.

The last few times this happened, the DMB titled the outcomes "Tripping Billy," "Crash," and "Ants Marching." No word yet on what the new release will be called.

The Ministry thanks loyal reader #00017, EDog for the hat tip.

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 1

John Hoosier Mellonhead: Traitor to Rock and Roll

Via Cold Fury, we learn that Alice Cooper is disgusted with liberal musicians campaigning for Kerry. Aiming a broadside at Michael Stipe, John Cougar Melloncamp and Bruce Springsteen, the Coop said:

"To me, that's treason. I call it treason against rock 'n' roll because rock is the antithesis of politics. Rock should never be in bed with politics," says the 56-year-old Cooper, who begins a 15-city Canadian tour on Aug. 20 in Thunder Bay, Ont.

"When I was a kid and my parents started talking about politics, I'd run to my room and put on the Rolling Stones as loud as I could. So when I see all these rock stars up there talking politics, it makes me sick.

"If you're listening to a rock star in order to get your information on who to vote for, you're a bigger moron than they are. Why are we rock stars? Because we're morons. We sleep all day, we play music at night and very rarely do we sit around reading the Washington Journal." [emphasis mine]

Truer words were probably never said. Ted Nugent'll probably shoot 'em all, anyway.

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 7

The whole Kerry/Vietnam/Swift Boats Thingy

Patton, over at Opinion 8 has got just about the best take on the endless Kerry-Vietnam controversy that I've yet seen. Here's the money shot:

The story here, and the lesson yet to be learned, is whether and how Kerry can deal with a public relations problem, albeit a severe one. Filing a complaint with the FEC was not an encouraging sign. It won't have any likely effect before the election, it is based on wisps of smoke and innuendo in any event, and he knows this. It's a weak play of a weak hand. It's just as weak as would be a lawsuit against the Swift Boat Vets or John O'Neill (or Regnery Publishing, or any TV station who airs the ad, or, now that I think about it, me personally). As a more practical matter, Kerry might be able to make all this go away by signing the Form 180 that would authorize disclosure of his service records.

Strangely enough, I don't care whether he does or doesn't - and I believe that there's more to learn here about Kerry's qualifications to be president if he stays above the fray and simply answers the questions, posed by any and all comers. If he exaggerated his CIA/Navy Seal/Cambodia adventure, so what? Just say so (clearly, not in the mealy-mouthed manner attempted so far) and proceed with the matters at hand. The alternative, a continuation of the campaign's shrill claims indicating he doesn't feel he has to respond to the questions, and that the questions themselves are not allowed, can also provide a lesson, you see. And it's not the lesson they want to provide.

That really is the point. As I commented on his post, I reached a similar conclusion after the minor incident Kerry had on the ski slopes when he ran into the secret service agent. It wasn't that he fell - everyone falls on the slopes every now and again. It was significant to me that he had to make sure that everyone knew that it wasn't his fault.

Kerry's reaction to this controversy is not encouraging. After the Kerry campaign started loudly insisting that Bush disavow the swifties, Bush genially denounced all 527 ads. (While I have issues with campaign finance reform on free speech grounds, this was a politically astute move that took much of the wind out of the democratic counterattack - and we won't likely see a similar condemnation of moveon.org and other Soros-funded 527s anytime soon.) Moving to file FEC complaints, insisting that publishers pull a best selling book - these are exactly the kinds of legalistic maneuvers that I most particularly hate in a political campaign. If Kerry has nothing to fear, full disclosure and a sense of humor will impress more of the electorate than shrill condemnation and lawyers.

And, as a side note, I would like to once again insist that it is not an attack ad, or negative campaigning, to point out your opponent's record. This is information (with spin, to be sure, but information nevertheless) not negativism. If you want examples of negative campaigning, go back to the early 1800s, where candidates were regularly accused of all manner of immoral acts, baby-eating, satan worship and worse. Mentioning how your opponent voted on something hardly qualifies.

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 3

George gets the Queer Eye treatment

Historians at Mount Vernon (just a stone's throw from the Buckethead Happy Funtyme Compound on the banks of the Potomac) are engaged in a project to make over the image of George Washington, and it's 'bout time. The popular image of Washington (as appears on the dollar bill, etc.) is of George as an old man, stooped and withered and suffering from sore and swollen gums. The younger man was quite different. Every book I read on the late Colonial period and early Republic describe George Washington as a large, rawboned man with red hair, ruddy features, and an undeniable presence, a social gravity, even when sitting quietly. He looked every inch a Commander-in-chief, an image that the popular Gilbert Stuart painting can't possibly convey.

If you're like me, you have the need to put faces to the names you read about. That's simple when reading a biography of say, Benjamin Disraeli or Ben Franklin, that includes numerous portraits of the man. But in Washington's case, not many portraits exist (not that many reliable ones, anyway), and it just doesn't sit right with me to envision an old man with an infected mouth marching through the mountains of Western Pennsylvania under General Braddock or accepting the peace at Yorktown.

Unfortunately for my fevered brain, there is only one current public figure who looks anything like George Washington at all. Reddish hair, gone gray: check. Tall, physically imposing: check. Lumpy nose: check. Ruddy features: check. Charisma: check. That's right, America. In my head, a young George Washington looks like nobody more than William Jefferson Clinton.

Help me, somebody.

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 1

Ministry Member Policy Update

The Ministry's vast legions of overworked, unpaid migrant worker drones were hard at work this morning; chiseling names off a granite edifice with their teeth. Why, one might ask, were these hard working and underappreciated proles performing work such as this; when they could have been laboring in the html mines, digging up web goodness for you, the gentle reader? The reason is simple. That sheet of granite contained the laser etched names of all those who have willingly become registered members of the Ministry of Minor Perfidy's extended family. (The Ministry is also curious as to why many of you do not have your name on that roll of honor. The Ministry is keeping track of those who abuse the its generosity. Our memory is long.)

Dark and unknown forces have shamelessly perverted the Ministry's enlightened policy of openness and transparency. Initial indications are that these forces are Russian, which does not surpise the Ministry in the least. They have registered for membership not to revel in a sense of oneness with the Ministry's goals and vision; but only to use that sacrosanct status to attempt to spam the innocent with invitations to disgusting, ill-designed, and tasteless porn sites. (Nota bene: The Ministry might forgive invitations to well-designed and artistic porn sites. The Ministry is well aware of the beauty of the unclothed female form. But these sites require the download of malicious software, a practice the Ministry does not support or condone.)

Therefore, from this moment forward, all prospective registrants will be vetted by the Ministry's crack team of investigators and busybodies. Those who survive the rigorous and intrusive background check will be granted membership, an email confirming their new status, and their name will be laser etched on granite wall in the lobby of the Ministry's headquarters. Those who do not pass will live in fear, fear of the highly trained and lethal hordes of assassins at the Ministry's beck and call; and praying that they will not be unleashed.

Those who pass muster will bask in the bright sun of comradery, and feel the warm joy of submission to the Ministry's vision for the future. As well, they will in time have access to special features unavailable to the unwashed masses. The Ministry invites all those of sound moral character to register instantly, lest they suffer the consequences.

This message from the Ministry of Minor Perfidy
Thank you for your cooperation

Posted by Ministry Ministry on   |   § 8

Go Greek!

I don't remember how I got to it, but Ken Layne is having some fun with the linking rules established by the nasty bureaucrats of the Athens Olympic Games. Apparently, the internet department has some rather authoritarian ideas about how one should go about linking the games' website:

For your protection and ours we have established a procedure for parties wishing to introduce a link to the ATHENS 2004 website on their site. By introducing a link to the ATHENS 2004 official Website on your site you are agreeing to comply with the ATHENS 2004 Website General Terms and Conditions. In order to place a link embedded in copy interested parties should:

a) Use the term ATHENS 2004 only, and no other term as the text referent

b) Not associate the link with any image, esp. the ATHENS 2004 Emblem (see paragraph below)

c) Send a request letter to the Internet Department stating:

Short description of site
Reason for linking
Unique URL containing the link (if no unique URL than just the main URL)
Publishing period
Contact point (e-mail address)

Once the request has been mailed, interested parties can proceed to include the link and will only receive a response if ATHENS 2004 does not accept the link. All requests should be sent to: 

The Internet Department
Iolkou 8 and Filikis Eterias str.
GR-142 34 N. Ionia, Athens

On further research, Ken discovered that there are also rules about linking to the Olypic logo:

Incredible.

There are additional rules if you'd like to use one of their stupid little gifs, and Big Trouble awaits should you dare to use an image of the stupid little Olympic circles:

"Linking using the Olympic Emblem is strictly prohibited as the Olympic Emblem, Trademarks and Terms are duly registered internationally and are protected under existing legislation (as defined in article 2 of Greek law 2819/2000). Parties wishing to use the emblem are requested to contact the ATHENS 2004 Internet Department (see address above). Permission to use these properties as links will be granted only under special circumstances."

Because of his deep concern for the people making these rules, Ken created this special logo:

Athens Sucks

Some others got into the game as well.
 

image

posted by chicobangs at 4:51 PM CST on August 16 Chico, is that a new demonstration sport? And BTW, DrJohn, I ate an Atkins bagel today, toasted with CarbOptions Peanut Butter! -- posted by billsaysthis at 5:16 PM CST on August 16

Tasty, yet morally ambiguous. -- posted by DrJohnEvans at 9:53 AM CST on August 17

Chico, I have nothing to add except for the fact that that's the best picture I've ever seen anywhere. -- posted by Samsonov14 at 1:16 PM CST on August 17

Chico, is that a new demonstration sport?

Yes, it's called Mexican Farm Animal Stacking and the Antarcticans dominate the sport. Them penguins can stack the fuck out of some farm animals. -- posted by NoMich at 1:26 PM CST on August 17

Indeed. Mexican Farm Animal Stacking will, I think, become a very popular Olympic event. It is even possible that this man will someday win the Mexican Farm Animal Stacking gold medal: 

ladies_chat_with_strange_men

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 3

Lost in space

From the Scam o Rama files, the best Nigerian email scam ever. Ever.

Received: from [203.121.131.31]
Date: Sat, 17 Apr 2004 05:11:32 0100 (BST)
From: Paul Jones
Subject: Nigerian Astronaut Marooned In Space!!! Please Help
To: [email]paulwhjones@yahoo.co.uk[/email]

Subject: Nigerian Astronaut Wants To Come Home
Dr. Bakare Tunde
Astronautics Project Manager
National Space Research and Development Agency
(NASRDA)
Plot 555
Misau Street
PMB 437
Garki, Abuja, FCT NIGERIA

Dear Mr. Sir,

REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE-STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL

I am Dr. Bakare Tunde, the cousin of Nigerian Astronaut, Air Force Major Abacha Tunde. He was the first African in space when he made a secret flight to the Salyut 6 space station in 1979. He was on a later Soviet spaceflight, Soyuz T-16Z to the secret Soviet military space station Salyut 8T in 1989. He was stranded there in 1990 when the Soviet Union was dissolved. His other Soviet crew members returned to earth on the Soyuz T-16Z, but his place was taken up by return cargo. There have been occasional Progrez supply flights to keep him going since that time. He is in good humor, but wants to come home.

In the 14-years since he has been on the station, he has accumulated flight pay and interest amounting to almost $ 15,000,000 American Dollars. This is held in a trust at the Lagos National Savings and Trust Association. If we can obtain access to this money, we can place a down payment with the Russian Space Authorities for a Soyuz return flight to bring him back to Earth. I am told this will cost $ 3,000,000 American Dollars. In order to access the his trust fund we need your assistance.

Consequently, my colleagues and I are willing to transfer the total amount to your account or subsequent disbursement, since we as civil servants are prohibited by the Code of Conduct Bureau (Civil Service Laws) from opening and/ or operating foreign accounts in our names.

Needless to say, the trust reposed on you at this juncture is enormous. In return, we have agreed to offer you 20 percent of the transferred sum, while 10 percent shall be set aside for incidental expenses (internal and external) between the parties in the course of the transaction. You will be mandated to remit the balance 70 percent to other accounts in due course.

Kindly expedite action as we are behind schedule to enable us include downpayment in this financial quarter.

Please acknowledge the receipt of this message via my direct number 234 (0) 9-234-2220 only.

Yours Sincerely, Dr. Bakare Tunde
Astronautics Project Manager
[email]tip@nasrda.gov.ng[/email]

http://www.nasrda.gov.ng/

Sweet.

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 1

What could replace blue and gray?

For the last couple days, I've been reading William Tecumseh Sherman's memoirs. As I read, it started me thinking. (Books are cool that way.) Most civil wars throughout history and down to today have been caused by either dynastic succession or about ethnic strife. Here and there, the occasional religious civil war - which in many respects resembles an ethnic civil war. Of course, an American civil war had to be different. Ethnicity and religion had nothing to do with the civil war, at least in that both sides considered themselves equally American, and both sides were Christian, with a fairly even spread of denominations on either side.

America's civil war became an ideological war over the issue of slavery. Fueling this fight over principle was the fact that slavery was necessarily also an economic issue. Slavery is not the most efficient way of mobilizing a nation's labor force; and only a unique set of circumstances had allowed slavery to be immensely profitable (for some) in the south. Without the economic factor, slavery would not have been as divisive an issue. For example, if the north had also held slaves and if their factories could have profitably used slave labor - then only the abolitionists would have been arguing for ending the institution. They may have won that fight, but it would not have required a civil war.

Could it happen again? The United States seems the most stable of nations. Despite the recent animosity between the two political parties, we all get along much better than average. Even in the face of a full on election crisis, everyone pretty much managed to keep their heads. What could possibly motivate a significant number of our population to wage war on the rest?

To be honest, I couldn't think of many issues that are even potentially as divisive as slavery was almost a hundred and fifty years. Global Warming? Please. Social Security? Old people aren't going to take up arms against the young for their pensions. The only one that comes close is abortion, which is just as black and white; however it lacks the economic component that could potentially really get blood flowing. So to speak.

Aside from that, you have the various paranoid fantasies of the aryan brotherhood/inbred klan nutjob variety. The Jewish Zionist world government will use the black helicopters and UN controlled US forces to eliminate the mountain hideouts of the faithful. Somehow, that doesn't quite work as a nightmare scenario for me. Mostly, they're too busy ratting each other out to the ATF to be an effective core for a secessionist movement.

Economic issues, absent some sort of polarizing ideological component, will generally get worked out in a system like ours. Ideological discord, without large scale economic interests lining up on opposite sides, will remain low level bitching on the fringes, or eventually degenerate into a consensus. So we're safe, right? I was wondering if anyone had any plausible ideas for a second American Civil War - my list of worries is getting too short.

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 6

I Can See My House From Here

NASA keeps a small archive of satellite images available to the freeloading public.
Here are the sets organized by state.

There are three seasons hereabouts: Endor, Hoth, and leafpeeping/boorish undergraduate/gay-antique-collector-from- Manhattan. Can you guess which two are represented here:

You can also use the search function and view places you might care to go on vacation, avoid altogether, or drop super reinforced tungsten rods upon. Note that there is a relationship between how dangerous a weather feature is to human life, and how interesting that feature is to observe on a satellite photo.

Posted by GeekLethal GeekLethal on   |   § 1

A very special olympics

Some thoughts from the Olympics:

  • I loved the opening ceremony. These affairs can't help but be a little cheesy, but the sheer majesty and taste with which the long theatrical sequence covered the 3,000 year history of Greece made up for any faint ridiculousness. Bonus points for alphabetizing the nations by the Greek alphabet. Points off for NBC for Bob Costas and Katie Couric. Note to Bob and Katie: nobody-- nobody cares what you think about what Fiji is wearing.
  • What is going on with NBC? With a stable of associated cable networks to exploit (USA, Bravo!, MSNBC, Telemundo), you'd think they could put together a nifty package that puts the marquee sports—gymnastics, swimming, maybe volleyball/beach volleyball—front and center in prime time for the first week of the Games. But nooooo! Last night Bravo! edited their coverage of Olympic badminton (!) to end precisely at 8 and switched to regular programming, just in time for NBC to go on the air with - synchronized diving?
  • Synchronized diving? What the fuck?
  • The lady gymnasts need to eat some cake.
  • The men gymnasts are scary in a Shaolin kind of way.
  • What is going on with NBC? Last night the best gymnastics coverage I could find on any station was on RAI. Never heard of RAI? It's from Quebec. Broadcasting in French. NBC was showing doubles marshmallow eating.
  • Olympic badminton is scary. That wussy little shuttlecock and flimsy little racquet in the hands of experts become weapons of fearsome power. Last night in a doubles match I watched a short little American guy with a 35-inch (!) vertical leap whip off a kill that must have been going 85 MPH when the shuttlecock hit the court. Unbelievable. More unbelievable is that they got taken apart by a Norwegian team who played like implacable machines.
  • Olympic ping-pong is scary. The players watch the ball with all the concentration of a severely autistic child focusing on the one thing that makes him react, and volleys skitter and glide millimeters above the net only to whip off sideways when the ball hits the table. I swear some of these men have more than the usual number of arms.
  • What is going on with NBC? Right now in Greece, competitors are vying in boxing, fencing, equestrian, table tennis, water polo, swimming, badminton, soccer, baseball and softball. Between now and noon, NBC's many networks will show us live: table tennis, soccer, and water polo. Weak.
  • One word: Thorpedo.”
  • The only way to watch soccer is on Telemundo. One word: GOOOOOOOOOAL!”
  • We USAians got our ass handed to us in basketball by Puerto Rico. Puerto Rico. Let that sink in. Puerto Rico. There can only be one response: "Mr. President, I have reason to believe that Puerto Rico is harboring Weapons of Mass Destruction."
Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 2

Adopt-A-Sniper

Rather than waste your time adopting a local highway, adopt a sniper and help him waste our enemies. Snipers are a small part of a big army, and often do not get the equipment that they need. This is especially true now that the war on terror is forcing the army to force more and more expert riflemen into the sniper role.

So Brian Sain, a police SWAT member, has done something to ameliorate the problem. The website has a long list of gear you can buy for the snipers, including relatively inexpensive items like AA batteries and handy wipes. Or you can by mini binoculars, range finders or body armor. Or, you can make a direct donation online and let adopt a sniper buy gear for you, and pay for shipping costs. Thanks to the fabulous Michelle Malkin for pointing this out.

From the Adopt-A-Sniper FAQ:

Q: Why isn't the government buying these things?

A: The commitment in OEF/OIF is huge. Snipers need different and expensive gear than is required by many other troops. This can cause problems when the military tries to maintain a perfectly uniform dress code and the snipers end up doing without. The logistics of running the US military are staggering and snipers are just one small spoke in a very big wheel. We just try and relieve some of the burden from the snipers themselves and also from their families.

Q: How did this organization begin?

A: A group of SWAT snipers in the US were all too aware that they (the police snipers) often have to make do without the things they need to get their jobs done. Often misused and misunderstood, the police snipers correctly figured that the military snipers were operating under the same circumstances. The police snipers established contact with the various military sniper school cadre and began sending items they could spare right out of their own gear bags and also making personal purchases. An article on the organization later appeared in Stars and Stripes overseas. The military snipers began networking with the police snipers more and more and the rest is as they say ... history.

Q: I thought snipers, being specialized operators, would have everything they need. Why don't they?

A: In every war it seems that the military must re-learn the lessons of the past. The war on terror is ideally suited for the tactics of the sniper. With the convoy escorts and house to house fighting, the US military is using snipers in numbers not seen in modern history. It seems like a no-brainer but a man with a rifle that knows how to use it, is in much
demand in a war. Soldiers and Marines that have not been to a formal sniper school but who shot "Expert" on the range are being issued special rifles and basically doing the same job as the school trained snipers in some cases. Adoptasniper makes no distinction between these two types of operators and offers assistance equally. We currently support snipers on each end of the spectrum; from the very well trained and equipped who normally request smaller, specialized items to the marksman soldier with little to no support that needs "everything" to do the job asked of him ... and every variant in between.

Q: How do we know that the snipers higher ups will allow them to use the items we send or purchase?

A: Fortunately, many of the military higher ups have relaxed some of the operational needs stipulations. They realize too, that their men need things to get the job done and we have even had some officers contact us for assistance for their troops.

Q: Who is involved in this organization?

A: ALL persons directly involved are either current or former police or military snipers or both. ALL are either currently operational themselves or are directly involved in training police and military operators in the US and abroad.

Q: Can I send a monetary donation?

A: YES. We request that monetary donations be sent to Keith Deneys of Snipersonline. Snipersonline is a 5013C non-profit organization and we would prefer that all monies received be received through that entity.
The address is located on the contact page. You can also send a donation online.

One Marine in Afghanistan wrote back:

Sir,

Your package arrived at Forward Operating Base XXXXX today and was meet with great fan fair by my Marines. We are tremendously grateful for the equipment that you sent us. It is wonderful to see the support that the community enjoys from our fellow Snipers. The cleaning gear came in quite handing after our 25 straight day field operation. The mini binos will help lighten our load as we continue to spend most of our time chasing the Taliban between 7,000 - 10,000 feet. We head back out on our next field operation tomorrow after 4 days of rearming and refitting here at the FOB. The arrival of your gifts was perfectly timed.

If you are able to support the platoon further we would be more than happy to receive it. We are sitting pretty well with equipment, but I had the Marines compile a list of personal use items that they could use. Of course good stateside, Copenhagen was right at the top. Any type of Protein Bars ( We have each lost about 10-20 lbs so far), Gatorade and Poweraid Drink Mix, Dry Weapons Lubricants like Graphite ( the sand is a constant battle), Canned air, and anything else that you have access too. If you send it we will make good use of it...

Again, thanks for your support and please stay in touch.

I will keep you posted as to the status of the platoon and our operation here in Afghanistan.

Semper Fi,

XXXXXXXX
S/S Plt Cmdr
USMC
FOB XXXXXX, Afghanistan

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 0

I love my dead gay son!

By now we all know the sordid saga of James McGreevey, soon to be ex-governer of New Jersey. The young and politically ambitious governer of a beleaguered Eastern state is more or less caught in flagrante delicto carrying on an affair with a man who is not his wife. He makes a stirring public confession of guilt and regret, in the process coming out to the world in one unforgettable epigrammatic statement, “I am a gay American,”and announces he will resign his post.

However, it turns out that the soon to be ex-governer’s resignation won’t be until November, which maybe seems a little opportunistic and hollow. We also find that the mysterious dreamboat with whom our hero has had his dalliances is an Israeli poet and a member of the governer’s own staff. Stranger still, indeed. Digging deeper, we find that the Israeli poet in question had acted as director of New Jersey’s homeland security efforts despite no training, prior security or administrative experience, or indeed any qualifications of any kind aside from an uncanny ability to craft a sonnet.

At this point, suspicions begin to arise in the press about the timing and content of our hero’s public confession. Rumors drift out from the New Jersey press stringers, whispers of investigations, ethical violations and crooked fundraising, and a general pall of skeevy wrongdoing settles over the entire affair. The quality of scandal not strained; it falleth as a gentle shitmist over Trenton. Suddenly, our upstanding Gay American is not such a nobly flawed hero after all, but simply a cheap hustler on the make playing his last sympathy card before the hammer can fall.

That fact is the landmark aspect of the whole affair. A New Jersey governer resigns in disgrace, and rather than choose contrition or defiance in the face of evidence, he appeals to the hearts and minds of the country as a gay man. James McGreevey played the gay card, because of everything he could have done, it had the most upside for him.

Gay rights activists and allies, and indeed anyone with a pulse, will naturally be appalled at the sheer brazenness with which James McGreevey used what half the country believes to be a dead-serious equal-rights fight to keep his ass out the fire, and everyone else should be appalled for the opposite reason. With his public coming out, timed as it was to deflect scandal, James McGreevey has cheapened himself and the public image of gay America, and given the moralists and moonbats ammo aplenty with which to fire back at anyone who contends that gay people in general are not sex-mad degenerate opportunistic psychopaths in leather underwear looking to rape the corpse of the US Constitution and its laws.

But there is a silver lining to this. Just stop and think about it for a minute. Today, in 2004, a prominent politician in a partially rural state would rather be known as gay than be known as crooked. If anyone needed proof that the moonbats and moralists are doomed to lose the fight over the acceptance of gays in this country, there you have it. Can you imagine Nixon trying the same thing? In 1974, the only thing that could be worse for your reputation and career than being a megalomanical sociopath with his hands in every nasty thing in Washington would be to be (and I invoke the spirit of John Derbyshire as I say this), an invert, a buggerer, a lily-livered Liberace light in the loafers. But today… meh. So he’s gay. He’s also a crook.

Today is a proud day for gay rights in the United States of America, and it took a dirtbag to do it.

[wik] Proving me so, so right (and it feels so good!), McGreevey’s poll numbers are up since he made the announcement. A coming out bounce! Who knew?

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 3

Fun with photoshop

I have lost my soul. I have started photoshopping WWII propaganda posters.

Given my pathetic photoshop skills, this is a laborious process for me. But after seeing some of the annoying liberal versions, I felt compelled to try my hand at it.

image

Bear in mind that this vastly overstates my opinion of Kerry's national security credentials. If I do it again, I promise I won't post it unless I think it's really clever.

And, just for enjoyment, this poster that doesn't need photoshop at all:

image

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 0

A politically-correct post in spite of Buckethead's endearingly crass appeals

What an offensive, stupid, arrogant phrase “world music” is. Over the last ten years or so, as my horizons have broadened, I have become a devotee of many musicians from outside the English speaking world, and— surprise, surprise— they're all very different. Virginia Rodrigues and Vinicius Cantuaria from Brazil, Ali Farka Toure from Mali, Baaba Maal from Senegal, Karsh Kale from New York (via India), and Johnny Clegg from South Africa, to name just a few, all make regular stops in my stereo. In that list of six artists, we have a stunning diversity of styles and influences flung wide across four continents. Only a putz would lump all this together with samba, Dervish music, Balinese gamelan music and Tibetan devotional throat-singing and call the whole “world music.” One imagines a less couth time when the British, sitting comfortably at home at the center of a decaying empire, would have complacently dubbed such alien sounds, “wog music.”

It is better to reserve the term “world music” for those truly adventuresome pairings that defy easy categorization. A gentleman I worked for a few years ago had a vision of a future in which, thanks to broadband internet, a musician could set up a beat on a calabash in Timbuktu and have it embellished in real time by a tablaist in Mumbai and a bassist in Paris, the whole being mixed and chopped by a DJ in London as it was sent out to thousands of listeners around the world. Although sadly for him his grand vision has yet to pan out (that last mile of cable is so expensive!), he’s on to something. We live in a time where previously unimaginable opportunities exist for collaboration and cross-fertilization, and things are finally coming to a point where globe-trotting music seems natural, even obvious. “World” music, then, means music that draws upon the whole world (or at least parts of it)—much better than simply being code for “music from where the brown people live.”

Sometimes late at night I stumble onto performances on local Spanish-language cable stations by no-name musicians who effortlessly step between top 40 pop, Latin, funk, and rap without thinking about the ramifications. It’s usually Friday night, and the party is on no matter what the music is called. Los Angeles-based band Ozomatli are one of these anonymous groups gone gold. Recently nominated for a Latin Grammy for their 2003 EP, Coming Up, Ozomatli are part of a new generation of (formerly) underground collectives who combine Latin American rhythms with hip-hop and whatever else sounds right to them (they even have a full time tabla player in the band). Ozomatli intended their new album, Street Signs to be a bold statement of purpose, a giant step beyond the Los Angeles street party sound they have already perfected, and for the most part they have succeeded grandly.

The group put their lofty ambitions right up at the front—“Believe,” the opening track on Street Signs, augments the band’s Latin rhythms and wah-drenched guitar with the keening sintar of Moroccan Hassan Hakmoun, French-Gypsy violinists Les Yeux Noir, and the Prague Symphony Orchestra. Oh, there’s also several verses in Spanish and the English-language flow of the band’s MC Jabu. World Music, y’all!

The rest of the album is just as eclectic, bouncing from traditional Latin rhythms (I’m a big fan of Latin American music, but I can’t yet reliably tell a guaguanco from salsa, but you probably can’t either, so it doesn’t matter) to rock, hip-hop, and dancehall, often at the same time like fifty different radios tuned to fifty different stations at once. The press release makes reference to “Chicano funk-rock” and “urban globe-trots,” and for once the hype actually reflects what’s on record. Street Signs deserves to be a street-level hit from Sacramento to Soweto.

Although it took me five or six listens to figure Street Signs out and decide whether I like it, since that time I haven’t gone through a day in two weeks without getting something of theirs lodged in my head. (I also suspect the record makes for outstanding driving music, although my shoddily-manufactured review copy won’t play in my car.) Ozomatli even proved to be the cure for the dreaded Disney virus, in which "It's A Small World" runs around and around in my head until it hurts. Usually only Frank Zappa does the trick, but sometimes old Frank goes down a little rough and it's nice to have a more pleasant and party-friendly alternative for kicking the Mouse 'n' friends to the mental curb.

Lyrically, Ozomatli toe the generic leftist-platitude line, but not so much that it’s irritating or off-putting. If the Spanish-language lyrics are a little trite, and the English-language lyrics a little overdone, it’s not a big deal; not everyone needs to be Elvis Costello and rhyme “lie here mopin’” with “shellac of Chopin.” Ozomatli pride themselves on their commitment to social consciousness and political awareness, and the group at least has the good taste and common sense to make their slogans thoughtful, uplifting, and singable.

Ozomatli are legendary in some circles for their terrific live shows, and that energy is hinted at on album. Sometimes the hinting is all we get, as bright production, up-and-down playing, and heaps of multitracking sterilize a little of the funk growing in the grooves. Nevertheless, Street Signs is an infectious, masterful, thoughtful, deep and eclectic party album from a band who have exceeded their already high expectations.

Look for Ozomatli on tour throughout August accompanied by Plastalina Mosh, Kinky, and Del Castillo as well as organizations like Rock the Vote, Refuse and Resist, Move On, Amnesty International, Not in Our Name and Code Pink.

17-Aug -- Orlando, FL -- House of Blues
18-Aug -- Miami, FL -- La Covacha
20-Aug -- Boston, MA -- Warped Tour 10th Anniversary
22-Aug -- Washington, DC - Nation
23-Aug -- New York, NY -- BB King's
25-Aug -- Detroit, MI -- Majestic Theater
26-Aug -- Chicago, IL -- House of Blues
27-Aug -- Minneapolis, MI -- Quest
29-Aug -- Denver, CO -- Paramount
1-Sept -- Sacramento, CA -- CA State Fair
3-Sept -- Los Angeles, CA -- Universal Amphitheater
4-Sept -- Las Vegas, NV -- House of Blues

This post also appears at Blogcritics. Go show them some love.

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 5

What's wrong with this?

I found this cool link over at Rocket Jones. This guy must somehow have even more free time than me, because he's collected sports logos. Most of them

Some people seem to have it in for Chief Wahoo. But I ask you, what's wrong with this?

wahoo

The Indians replaced wahoo with this Stultifyingly dull script "I." Sure, I bought the new model hat, but I hate seeing traditions trampled into the ground in the pursuit of political correctness.

stupidI

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 3

Should we cook and eat her, or just drop her on the floor?

Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn.
Anyone who has spent time near me and a kitchen could deduce that Julia Child was one of my heroes. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn.

Don't forget to read her biography. She had an amazing life and a great time living it. I will miss knowing that somewhere in California there is a stooped old woman with a nasal alto losing her mind at the perfect freshness of this morning's lettuce.

Anybody up for a trip to her favorite restaurant?

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 1

Friday music quizzery!

Caspar of Blogcritics is spreading a new quiz like the flu, and I got it.

First Record Bought: Led Zeppelin IV
First Concert: Aerosmith w/ The Black Crowes
Favourite Music Movie: Talking Heads, Stop Making Sense
Favourite Music Book: Charles Mingus, "Beneath The Underdog" [wik: I am reminded that The Real Frank Zappa Book is the equal of Mingus' autobiography. I like autobiographies.]
Favourite Songwriter: Tom Waits
Favourite Record Label: Pre-1972, Motown. 1972-1987, (T) Asylum/Elektra, Island. 1987-1996, Rykodisc. 1996-present, Fat Possum.
Favourite Magazine: MOJO
Favourite Bassist: so many… so very many... Bootsy Collins
Favourite Album Cover: Frank Zappa, Weasels Ripped My Flesh
image
Least Favourite Album Cover: Guns ‘n’ Roses, Appetite for Destruction, original robot rape scene cover.
Favourite Teen Idol: Christina Aguilera
Artist Who Broke Your Heart: Prince
Artist You Will Always Believe In: Tom Waits
Singer Who Makes Your Skin Crawl: Celine Dion
Singer Who Makes You Swoon: George Jones
Favourite Sound: Fender Stratocaster and a stack of Marshalls, knobs on eleven, flapping your pants and shaking your testes.
Album You Will Always Defend: Skid Row, Skid Row
Album You Own That No One Else Does: Reid Paley, Revival
Classic Album You Own but Don't Like: Metallica, The Black Album
Artist You're Supposed to Like but Don't: Sleater-Kinney
Song You Can't Stand by an Artist You Like: Prince, "Delirious"
Band That Should Break Up: U2
Band That Should Re-form: Billy and the Boingers
Guilty Pleasure: I have no guilt about any of my pleasures
Favourite Music DVD: This Is Spinal Tap
Concert You Wish You'd Seen: Frank Zappa w/ John Lennon
Dream Collaboration: Flaming Lips and Neil Diamond

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 9

I meant to say that

Patton over at Opinion8 grudgingly links to an essay by Stephen Green, the VodkaPundit. But it's well worth the pain, my friend, because this one is really good.

Green discusses the future for the war on terror, and makes some really good points.

If you think war has become complex, peace is messier still – and always has been.

Nobody ever knows what the peace will look like. Let's use our examples from earlier. Even as late as Appomattox, who could have predicted the KKK, Jim Crow, or Radical Reconstruction? No statesmen in 1914 knew that the war they were about to unleash would result in 20 million deaths, Russian Communism, or Nazi Germany. World War II? If you can find me the words of some prophet detailing, in 1940, the UN, the Cold War, or even the complete assimilation of western Germany into Western Europe. . . then I'll print this essay on some very heavy paper, and eat it. With aluminum foil as a garnish.

NOTE: That's what gets me about all the complaints that President Bush "didn't have a plan" to "win the peace" in Iraq. Oh, blow me. Nobody ever has a plan for the peace. Or if they do, it will prove useless. "No peace plan survives the last battle" is the VodkaPundit corollary to Clausewitz's dictum that no battle plan survives first contact with the enemy.

By now, you probably know where I'm going with this little history lesson: How do we define victory in the Terror War, and what will the peace look like.

Let's get the second part out of the way first.

What will the peace look like? I don't have a damn clue. And neither do you. And if you meet anyone who claims to know, feel free to laugh at them really hard. So hard, you get a little spit on their face. Sometimes, justice can be small and spiteful – ask a meter maid. Anyway.

This is spot on. Ditto.

What we're fighting is an ideology.

First off, let's brush aside the Loser Notion that if we kill terrorists, we'll only breed more terrorists. So what? Every dead terrorist is, well, dead. And we can always build more bombs and make more bullets. For 30 years now, the US Army has trained to fight in a "target-rich environment." Bring'em on.

Now that we have defeatism out of the way, let's get on with defeating the enemy. "But the enemy is an ideology," you've been told, "and you can't fight thoughts with bullets."

Yes and no.

Some people forget (because they backed/worshipped/served-as-useful-idiots-to the other side) that we have fought an ideology before, and – we won. The Cold War was, above all else, an ideological conflict. It was the Great Civil War of Western Civilization. On the one side, you had Western Capitalism, and on the other, International Communism. Obviously, things weren't that cut and dried. The US certainly doesn't (to my constant dismay) enjoy a laissez-faire economy, and the European NATO countries even less so. And despite a totalitarian regime, even the Soviet Union tolerated a little samizdat capitalism. Nevertheless, with the exception of France, countries took sides and stayed there.

Which socio-political system was left standing after 45 years of conflict? Oh yeah, baby – despite what you hear on American campuses, the West won. We won completely. We knocked their dicks in the dirt. The bad guys gave up, in the end, without even firing a shot – like Saddam Hussein in his hidey-hole.

Go read the whole thing, it's worth your while.

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 2

... and that was how the Whiskey Rebellion went down. You, uh, want fries with that or what?

I have recently been trolling job sites in a desultory fashion just to see if there's that one hott opportunity out there that I cannot afford to pass up. I have a pretty good gig here at the Institute for Advanced Ensmartening, but you never know what might be out there.

Job searching is just about the least fun pastime I can imagine, even now, when for the first time in my life I'm not under the gun to find something before I get evicted for non-payment of rent. To lighten the time with some gallus-pole humor, I like to play a game called "Bid Johno Low" where I try to find the job listing with the most outrageously insulting salary offer based on my education. I got an MA in history for two reasons: I am absolutely apeshit in love with US history; and I thought it might be cool to be a professor. While both conditions still apply, I found out that graduate school life is not for me and washed out with a "terminal MA," which in a history world which values Ph.D's only for prof jobs might as well be "terminal cancer." I've also got an undergraduate degree in music, which qualifies me to play in subway stations around the world, and also to scowl disapprovingly when bar bands play solos in pentatonic minor over songs in major keys. I should get a degree in English Lit just to round things out.

Today I came across a job that seems fairly cool, especially for one such as myself who has an MA in US History, has focussed on the American Revolution and Massachusetts history, and who wishes to work in a teaching or otherwise public role. The job: Historical Interpreter for the USS Constitution Museum. The responsibilities: research aspects of the Constitution's history and place the stories in a context both entertaining and enlightening for the edification of the museum's patrons. Full time including one weekend day. The pay: $8 an hour.

The last time I checked, I could make almost that much slinging coffee at a Starbucks. Again. I shoulda gone to business school.

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 4

Not that there's anything wrong with that

Democratic governor James E. McGreevey of New Jersey has resigned, announcing that he had an extramarital affair with another man. That man, an Israeli poet, worked for the governor as a homeland security advisor despite having no security experience. Rumor is that the man, Golan Cipel, also threatened a sexual harrassment lawsuit unless he was paid millions of dollars.

Wow, he could be mayor of my home town. If he added smoking crack and blowing millions of dollars on cheap whores.

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 3

Cheney kicks ass

I know that many people seem to dislike our Vice President. Me, I kind of dig on his crusty manner. For example, he recently dissed Kerry's ideas for a more sensitive war on terror:

"America has been in too many wars for any of our wishes, but not a one of them was won by being sensitive," Cheney said.

"Those that threaten us and kill innocents around the world do not need to be treated more sensitively, they need to be destroyed."

I give that idea two thumbs up. Especially in light of the fact that Europe's enlightened and sensitive, dare I say... nuanced foriegn policy got them exactly bupkis in their negotiations with nuclear wannabe Iran. Actually, less than bubkis (double plus unbupkis?) given that the Iranians started making demands.

Naturally, the Kerry camp said that the Republicans had sunk to a new low, negative, blah blah blah. And, the best part: Kerry spokesman David Wade contrasted the vice president's lack of military service in the 1960s with Kerry's record as a decorated Vietnam veteran. Three purple hearts! Three! Threeeeee!

STFU.

Cheney went on to say:

"He [Kerry] has even said that by using our strength, we are creating terrorists and placing ourselves in greater danger. But that is a fundamental misunderstanding of the way the world we are living in works. Terrorist attacks are not caused by use of strength; they are invited by the perception of weakness."

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 6

Global Warming - As Real As My Ph.D in Women's Studies

Loyal reader #0015 John F. informs us that there is an article up on techcentralstation (certainly one of the most awkwardly named websites around) regarding the science of global warming. Or rather, the lack of science behind the case for global warming.

Three recent, peer reviewed papers have indicated that there really has been no warming in the atmosphere, and further that much of the ground warming can be strongly correlated with economic development. That is, rich places have more warm parking lots.

Thirty years ago, many of the same people screaming that we're all going to melt now were screaming that we'd all freexze to death in a new ice age caused by - wait for it - industrialization and overpopulation. And, amazingly, the solution for these diametrically opposed problem was exactly the same: drastic reductions in energy use and industrial activity, global controls for most sectors of the economy, and general panic.

I yearn, nay quiver with anticipation for the day when this chicken little scenario will go away. Of course, it will be immediately replaced by another, but at least it will be a new disaster scenario. Maybe, if we at the Ministry along with all our loyal readers, work hard enough we can convince the professional worriers that the proper focus for their energies is to mobilize global concern for the threat posed to humanity and the ecosphere by Giant Fighting Robots. What ho?

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 2

Couch Potato

This was on Drudge, but I have to link it myself. I have often joked about becoming one with the couch. This woman actually did.

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 4

No really, Blog Stamps!

I leave the world for two months, and look what happens. Der Komissar shows us the new lineup of Blog Stamps. Worthy of note, even in an outstanding array of filatelic art, are the following:

For Allah Pundit:

allah

I have to say, that really kicks ass. For the USS Clueless and for Q and O, we have these:

cluelessqando

And for the Commissar himself, this is very apropos:

Commissar

I always thought that the smurfs were commies. Given that their was only one female smurf, did the workers share ownership of the means of production?

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 0

News Flash: Sun provides heat for Earth

While slogging through the backlog of good blogs that I haven't read in two months, I saw that Mike over at Opinion8 noticed a UK Telegraph headline:

"The truth about global warming - it's the Sun that's to blame"

The link is broken - the article was from the middle of last month - but we'll take Mike's word for it. It got me thinking about some things that I've read recently in regard to global warming. Here's the deal in a nutshell:

There are a few things that I think everyone will agree on:

  1. Climate has varied over time, and varied significantly before the last 200 years, when industrial civilization started taking off.
  2. If natural processes produce vastly larger quantities of greenhouse gases, we have to believe that natural processes have a larger effect on the biosphere. (Not to mention the effect of the sun.)
  3. If we took a poll, and large numbers of climate scientists (not just scientist in general) thought that there is no consensus on global warming, then we'd have to agree that there is no consensus.
  4. If current temperatures are somewhere in the middle of the historical highs and lows, and the ecosystem didn't crash before, we have a buffer zone before any conceivable human activity causes the ecosystem to crash.

When we look at historical climate records, we notice some interesting things. Over the last two millennia, temperatures were both much higher, and much lower than the average for the twentieth century. Temperatures were at a peak around 1000 a.d., a period referred to as the “Medieval Climate Optimum” – 2-3 degrees centigrade warmer than now. Later, around 1350, temperatures began to drop, culminating in the Little Ice Age, when temperatures were significantly lower than currently. The warming trend of the last 200 years has put us well above the lows of the Little Ice Age, but we have not yet reached the highs of the Medieval Climate Optimum.

Four thousand years ago, the climate was even nicer than during the medieval climate optimum. Temperatures were warmer still, as high above today’s as the Little Ice Age was below – so cold that trees exploded in England in the winter. Many areas now covered by desert were lush savannah and forest – notably the Sahara. Millions of years before that before the ice ages, temperatures were even higher. At none of these points did the ecosystem collapse – rather the opposite, in fact. Higher temperatures led to increased CO2 levels, and both of these factors are like crack for plant life. More plant life meant more animal life. Among the benefits we could see now are much like those experienced a thousand years ago: longer growing seasons, increased crop yields, sunnier weather, and vineyards in Ontario.

Given that the planet has successfully endured many periods of global warming, panic over a current episode seems, well, overwrought. Especially since it is not established that human activity is a major or even significant contributor to the process. People release about 30 billion metric tons of CO2 into the atmosphere every year. That eems like a lot, until you realize that natural processes such as volcanoes, the outgassing from the oceans, and the natural functioning of the biosphere add up to 1800 billion tons. The sum of human activity adds less than two percent to the preexisting total. And further, water vapor is present in concentrations averaging at least ten times higher; and water vapor is a much more efficient greenhouse gas because it is active across the entire infrared, where CO2 is only active on two narrow bands.

The total greenhouse effect – necessary for life on earth – adds about 33 degrees to the Earth’s temperature. Without it, we’d have permanent ice at the equator. Water vapor is responsible for somewhere between 95 and 99% of this, or about 32 degrees. Human activity is responsible – perhaps – for 2% of the remaining degree. When you factor in the effects of variations in the Sun’s output due to the sunspot and other cycles, variations in water vapor levels, natural changes in the climate, that percentage is likely even smaller.

The idea that humans could single handedly wreck the biosphere is hubris, really. We’d have to try a lot harder than we are now; yet throughout the industrialized world emissions and pollution are on the decline. (The Kyoto accords would only effect the one region of the world where pollution is declining, at great economic cost, while leaving India China, Brazil and all the other industrializing nations free to pollute at will. Mike Patton calls that economic self immolation. Oprah calls it empowerment.) Panic is perhaps counterindicated.

And another thing about CO2 emissions – the bulk of the .5 degree raise in temperature in the twentieth century happened before 1940, while 80% of the increase in CO2 didn’t happen until after. You’d expect some correlation there. But the strongest correlation with temperature is for sunspot activity, which tracks almost exactly from 1800 to the present. The sun might have something to do with the weather, after all.

And yet another thing: historically, CO2 levels rise about fifty years after a temperature rise. Just as we experienced recently – temps start to rise around 1890, and CO2 starts up in 1940. While the burning of fossil fuels in the conventional explanation, before we do something drastic we should be aware that the Earth has enormous reservoirs of carbon in various forms. Some large percentage of the CO2 increases we’ve seen might still be the result of natural causes.

And one more thing: as I mentioned earlier, plants dig CO2. 100 million years ago, CO2 concentrations were on the order of ten times higher than now. Most plants can’t survive below levels of 50-100ppm. During the coldest parts of the Little Ice Age, CO2 levels dropped to around 180ppm. Crop failures may not have been due solely to the cold weather. If you double a plant’s supply of CO2, it increases yield by a third while reducing evaporation and doubling the efficiency of water use. Tests have shown that improvements continue at least out to CO2 concentrations of 1000ppm, nearly three times the current total. Increasing the amount of CO2 could bring enormous benefits, not just higher crop yields but even possibly reclaiming desert regions, and increased biodiversity.

And one last thing: the warm periods between periods of glaciations typically last 11,000 years. Its been 10,800. Global warming could be a very good thing, and a noble goal.

As to the idea that all scientists agree that global warming is a real and present danger, check this out:

  • After the ’92 Earth Summit, 218 leading scientists including 27 nobel prize winners signed the Heidelberg Appeal condemning the irrational science and ideology behind that event. Since then, the numbers have grown to 4,000 and 70 nobel prize winners.
  • After a 1995 international symposium in Germany, the Leipzig Declaration was issued, saying, “there does not exist today a general scientific consensus about the importance of Greenhouse Warming” and “we cannot subscribe to the politically inspired worldview that envisages climate catastrophes and calls for hasty actions.” The declaration was reissued on the eve of the Kyoto conference in ’97, signed by an additional 100 atmospheric researchers and with the added statement, “we consider drastic emission control policies likely to be endorsed by the Kyoto conference – lacking credible support from the underlying science – to be ill-advised and premature.”
  • Climate specialists, atmospheric researchers and other specialist – 17,000 of them – signed a petition declaring that there was no evidence that greenhouse gases were or were likely to cause disruption of the climate.
  • The German Meteorological Institute of the University of Hamburg conducted a survey of climate researchers. 67% of Canadians rejected the notion that any warming was the result of human activity. For Germans, 87%, Americans, 97%.
  • Then of course, there’s the scandal of the IPCC (Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change) executive summary – which was widely reported in the media, and which systematically misrepresented the findings of the actual report, to the disgust of many of the contributors.

This is not to dismiss any solid research that supports or indicates global warming, but I think it demonstrates that we don’t have a consensus, or in fact anything close to it. Think about it for a minute – when, in your experience, has the media gotten right anything that you know something about? Whether it’s rose gardening or military history, the media screws it up, distorts and misrepresents the facts and in general gives anyone who doesn’t know what you know a completely inaccurate picture of what’s going on. Why should we imagine that they got this right?

Given all of the above, I think it’s safe for us to do the wise thing, which is to say nothing beyond what we’re already doing. We are getting better at being cleaner, and we will continue to get better. The third world will eventually (hopefully) become cleaner as they get richer, just as we did. Assuming that we get no worse at polluting (a conservative prediction, I think) we are not going to press the ecology destruct button anytime soon. The world can take a five degree centigrade change in either direction, and has done both within the last five thousand years and yet survive. That gives us a comfortable margin of error, and breathing space to do some careful research to see whether anything really needs to be done.

And who knows, given the timing of Ice Ages, the answer might come back to give up the clean burning sissy cars and start using coal fired dragsters to keep the glaciers off your lawn.

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 5

From the Hall of Dubious Achievements

Anyone who follows baseball knows that pitcher Jose Lima has always been maddeningly inconsistent-- for instance following up a stellar 21-10 season in 1999 with a, erm, less stellar 2000 performance, going 7-16 with an ERA of 6.65.

So far this season, he's been good, fine, great for the Dodgers, but as King Kaufman points out writing for Salon.com, even his good seasons aren't without their low points. Lima was pitching last night against Cincinnatti whe Reds outfielder Adam Dunn hit a home run off Lima so hard that it

left the stadium, bounced in the street and rolled all the way into the Ohio River, where it came to rest on a stationary piece of driftwood. Based on where a security guard said he saw the ball bounce, the homer was estimated at 535 feet.

Dunn didn't want to talk about his clout after the game because his team lost. But it looks like it wasn't just an ordinary tape-measure shot. As reader Jeff Mathews of Lexington, Ky., points out and the U.S. Geological Survey confirms, the Ohio-Kentucky border at downtown Cincinnati is the north bank of the river. If you stick your toe into the Ohio, you're in Kentucky.

As of this column's posting time, the Hall of Fame had not been able to confirm that Dunn's shot was the first home run in major league history to have crossed a state line, but I think it's a pretty good bet that it was.

You know you've really given up a home run when there are only 48 states it hasn't traveled through.

Ouch. Every season has its share of funny-sad stories, whether it's some marginal hitter in a slouch fighting to stay above the Mendoza Line (which I personally count as a batting average of .188, because it's just so pathetic), a pitcher chasing 20 losses, or a team chasing 120 losses (see previous link; the Tigers can't get no respect). It's part of what makes baseball so beautiful.

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 0

Super Ropes

Last Sunday, the family unit was up in Hagerstown, MD where Mrs. Buckethead's band was playing a festival at a city park in that fair burgh. The weather was perfect, an excellent night for listening to bluegrass in thte great outdoors. And I was completely unprepared for the deeply emotional experience I was soon to undergo.

From my youngest days, my favorite candy (and I am largely lacking a sweet tooth, confections I actually liked were rare) was the super rope. Three feet of red (super ropes would never discriminate against any particular red fruit) licorice goodness, available at most gas stations in Northeastern Ohio. Up until about five years ago, I took the super rope for granted. Super ropes will always be there for me, I thought. Months would go by where I didn't even think of them, only to catch a glimpse of slender, plastic wrapped fruity delights hanging from the corner of an end cap at the Speedway. Bliss regained! The longer they had lingered in the back of the station, the better they got. Some might call a five year old super rope stale, but to me it was perfection. Oenophiles might have some inkling of my transports of ecstacy drinking a Chateau Rothschild '52, but somehow I doubt that even they could appreciate the subtle evolution of flavor in a super rope over years of careful aging.

Then, super ropes disappeared. I wasn't even aware of their passing, so blase was I. But one day I looked for a super rope, and none were to be found. Speedways, BP, Exxon, Texaco, Sunoco, Shell all barren. Candy stores had no idea of what I wanted. I grieved, but moved on. I moved to Northern Virginia - and made a desultory effort to find my lost love in the gas stations of the Commonwealth, but to no avail. Even Google, that finder of the unfindable, was no help. Typing "super ropes" into the magic box yielded no matches.

Sir John of the Nine Teeth was feeling peckish and uninterested in mommy's singing, so I wandered over to the park's concession stand. Bought a soft pretzel and a soda. And there, off to the side in an unassuming display, a box full of super ropes. I doubted the evidence of my senses. My world view rocked, I nearly fell to the ground in thanksgiving for this unsought boon.

I bought twenty of them. And now, I have a link that will allow me to purchase more super ropes through the magic of the interweb whenever I so desire.

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 6

Dulce et Decorum est... to Imagine Other Histories

It was not too long ago when Francis Fukuyama made some waves with his prediction that, with capitalism's apparent defeat over communism, "history" was at an end. Assuming capitalist democracy is the best way to organize your society, and that populations naturally strive toward it, the collapse of the Soviet Union removed the greatest ideoological and physical barrier to democratic institutions both in Europe and to the wider world. Fukuyama's history means big-p Progress toward a better future of plenty, self satisfaction, representative government, and a global environment more closely resembling order than otherwise exists today. Once that state is reached, history would be at an end, and Dr Fukuyama would write a book about it.

Whether you agree with him or not, Fukuyama missed the point. History didn't end with the dissolution of the Soviet Union. A history, arguably, ended. A far more fundamental and significant history had already come to an end many years before. That history ended 90 years ago this month, with the opening moves of the War to End All Wars.

That was quite a few wars ago of course. It was also the last Great War. Although there have been some real corkers since, none has been Great. I don't know of another period where, in so short a time, the world that came after was so utterly different than the one that had been. The general effects of the conflict are widely agreed upon, in terms of endings (secret alliance structures [so far as we know!], monarchic direction of imperial foreign policies, the impossibility of protracted European conflict) and beginnings (birth of a viable communist state, ubiquity of automated weaponry, United Nations v.1.0).

Although the changes in military thought are perhaps most thoroughly studied, the war's significance on other historical forces ranged far beyond the battlefields, as the sheer volume of material the conflict generated would indicate. To describe the Great War as "well documented" would be a grotesque understatement; it may be the most widely-studied era in the western world. Many smart people have considered its lessons: Eksteins, Fussell, Gilbert, Keegan, Tuchman, Ferguson, Fisher, to name a few, and new work just keeps on a'coming.

With the amount of material available, and a broadly understood concept of the scheme and scope of the conflict, the war is widely accessible to the general (ie, non-smarty pants historian) public. And with so many people thinking about it, I bet there are some very original and imaginative counterfactual scenarios out there. From the general questions, such as "What if the US had remained neutral?"; to more specific ones, a la "What if young Corporal Hitler had been killed on the Western Front?"; to kooky ones indicating a dearth of human interaction on the part of the questioner, like "What if at the Battle of Quiggledorf, Oberleutnant Schmidt's platoon had broken through the French blockhouses and opened the crossroads, yadda yadda yadda, singlehandedly won the war for Germany?"

What are other interesting counterfactuals that can come from reflecting on this anniversary? What might other repurcussions have been on the arts, literature, culture, diplomacy, society, if the war had turned out differently? What about beyond the western world- Imperial Japan, say, or the nascent USSR?

Posted by GeekLethal GeekLethal on   |   § 9

Sleeping Beauties

Earlier, I mentioned that my son slept while Rome burned. I mean, while I blogged. This is what it looked like:

John and Bodhi

My two boys. Bodhi will always be my eldest, but at fifteen months, John is already vastly outperforming on the intelligence and common sense scales. They're duking it out for loudest though, a contest I am devoutly hoping will be resolved soon.
 

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 0

Kerry, and polls

One thing that did briefly flicker in the corner of my awareness recently was the fact that John Kerry received none of the expected bounce in the polls following the recent convention. It is a normal for a candidate to jump a buit in the polls after several days of the intensive and generally favorable coverage attending the nominating convention. Kerry didn't get this, and received the lowest post convention bounce of any candidate since McGovern back in '72. Why is this, I wondered? When I've talked to my liberal friends, they are unifrormly lacking in enthusiasm for Kerry. While they are unified in their dislike for Bush, they have no passion for putting Kerry in the oval office.

Kerry on display for the nation apparently aroused no passion in the electorate, either. I saw very little of the convention, but all three times that I glimpsed it, I saw Kerry talking about his service in Vietnam. While military service is certainly not a bad thing, it is far from the only thing. The recent "This Land is My Land" parody from Jib Jab highlighted this perfectly, and could have stood for the entirety of the democratic convention - "I won three purple hearts, and Bush is a jingoistic moron."

Charles Krauthammer cuts right to the chase, dismissing the stylistic and "the people have already made up their minds" defenses out of hand:

Hardly. The explanation that respects the intelligence of the American people is that Kerry had nothing to say. Well, one thing: Vietnam. His entire speech, the entire convention, was a celebration of his military service. The salute. The band of brothers. The Swift boat metaphors. The attribution of everything -- from religious values to foreign policy wisdom -- to Kerry's five-month stint in Vietnam 35 years ago.

This jibes well with what I've observed. Later, Krauthammer observes,

The convention gave no bounce because it consisted of but two elements: Vietnam, plus attacks on the president. The press swallowed the claim that the convention, following a directive from on high, was not negative. In fact, that meant simply that Al Gore was not to repeat his charges that the Bush administration is allied with "digital brownshirts" and running a "gulag." And that Bush was not to be attacked by name.

But the themes were transparently negative: We are not the party that misleads you into war. We are not the party that trashes the Constitution. We are not the party that acts unilaterally. And my favorite, because of its Escher-like yogiism: We are not the party that divides the country -- as opposed to those lying, Constitution-trashing, unilateralist Republican cowboys.

For the last half decade at least, and really since about '92, the Democrats have not really stood for anything at all. They are the party of negation, the party of denial. What those nasty Republicans want, well, we're agin it! Social Security is collapsing - but no suggestions from the left for how to fix it, just rote opposition to any Republican plan. The war on terror - against the patriot act, the war in Iraq, and most other measures the administration has taken. Not that these choices are beyond debate, to be sure, but the Democratic party has nothing to say except that the choices were ill-considered, in poor judgment, damaging to America and its interests, likely unconstitutional if not outright immoral and by the way, Bush is a liar. But no alternatives except for vague platitudes about involving the international community and more funding for local fire departments.

Given the hatred for Bush in a significant part of the left, distaste for Bush in the remainder, and doubts in the middle; and the deeply troubling events in Iraq - Kerry should be riding high. Even Dukakis, who eventually went down to a humiliating defeat, was leading in the polls early on. Kerry has never had a lead significantly beyond the statistical margin of error in most of the polls over the last six months. The Bush administration has been facing some of the most difficult domestic and foreign policy challenges of the last fifty years, with moderate success. I think the polls show that Bush has already taken about as much political damage from the recent unpleasantness in Iraq as he's ever going to - and Kerry doesn't have much room to move except down.

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 5

First cut

Fig Newtons are really, really tasty.

Mmmmnnn

Just stretching the fingers, remembering how to google, and kick starting the rusty, two cycle, 2.5hp motor that is my noggin.
 

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 0

I'm not dead, bitch!

The wife is in Maryland, doing the band thing for some conspicuously consuming stingy yacht monkeys. The boy is asleep on the couch, preventing me from being asleep on the couch. The railing is replaced on the stairway, the taxes are done (just in time, my extension was running out), the laundry is washed and folded, and I have no desire to enter the jungle that is my garage. I have finished the book proposal, except for editing. Resumes are sent. Email answered. I have no choice but to blog.

For the first several weeks of this hiatus, I was insanely busy and had every excuse to not blog. I didn't watch the news, because I was fixing the house or burying my face in some stripper's tits in Vegas. Good excuses. But as time went by, I wasn't even reading the blog. Not so much for lack of time, but for shame, guilt and remorse.

As a cofounder of this blog, I have responsibilities. Not large ones, granted, but responsibilities nevertheless. And I had been shirking them. And the longer I went without posting, the harder it was to face my shame, read the backlog and start posting again.

I can now tell you that I have faced my fears, conquered my guilt, and sent my shame to its room to sulk. I'm back! Not that that will do you, my esteemed reader, any good because I have absolutely no idea what's going on in the world. I might have noticed if terrorists nuked DC, but only because I'm in the fallout zone downwind of the city. Short of that, for me its still late May.

While my son slumbers, I will read the news and see how much piquant and incisive commentary I can serve up before he wakes.

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 4