The five hundredth time is less entertaining then the first

It is said that there will always be an England. In the grand geological sense, that's as true as it gets. Britain is situated on the far trailing edge of the Eurasian Plate as it slowly crashes into the Pacific Place, meaning that barring calamity, asteroid collision, or devastating attack by giant space robots, Britain is the closest thing the world has to a permanent feature. As long as there is a world and humans to live on it, there will be will always be an England, full of old gaffers in tweed caps, shaven-headed football hooligans and their pasty girlfriends, Sikh cabdrivers, old sheep villages full of amusingly skewed Tudor homes, cul-de-sacs full of quiet little old ladies with razor tongues, milky tea, Bovril, and people leaping behind the couch at the first sight of Daleks.

And if the English and the cockroaches do ever manage to prevail as the only remaining multicellular species to walk the blasted and parched face of the Earth, I guaran-damn-tee you they will still hail every tousled and precious power-pop band to come down the pike as the saviors of all humanity.

The latest in this long and occasionally distinguished line of rakish English popsters are the Kooks. And like their forebears the Beatles, the Who, the Kinks, The Dave Clark Five, Badfinger, The Small Faces, The Monkees (yes, The Monkees), Suede, XTC, Blur, Oasis, Pulp, Supergrass, all the way up to this year's heavily promoted Arctic Monkeys, they make raffish and occasionally gorgeous pop music with a distinctly British form and flavor that crosses echoes of the Victorian music hall with crunchy rock, symphonic flourishes, and a typically boozy and distracted demeanor.

The Kooks are young. The Kooks need shaves and probably a bath. The Kooks have floppy hair that hides their eyes and surely moistens panties from Norwich to Newcastle. The Kooks slouch endearingly in promo shots, grinning diffidently or striking halfhearted rawk poses that they are clearly a generation too young to take seriously. The Kooks could have been put together in a laboratory or- better yet- a focus group.

The Kooks have sold out four tours on their own in the UK. The Kooks have opened for the Stones. The Kooks have charted five singles and sold over a million copies of their debut album, Inside In/Inside Out in the UK, an area that is home to only 60 million. The Kooks have been hailed, as were Blur, Oasis, Supergrass and The Arctic Monkeys, as champions by MOJO and the NME.

So are the Kooks are a thrilling story. But are they any good?

Sure, I guess. Why not?

Inside In/Inside Out begins with a bit of Ray Davies-ish rococo songwriting called "Seaside" that lines up the hooks one after the other, bang-bang-bang, as lead singer Luke Pritchard croons about vacations at the shore. For thirteen more songs (only five of which last more than three minutes), the Kooks deliver winsome pop that at times recalls every one of the bands mentioned above, plus a few others. The songwriting is definitely competent, the playing is good, and production flourishes like the reggae touches on "Time Awaits" keep things from smearing together into an undifferentiated mass of goo.

I listened to Inside In/Inside Out cold, without reading any of the band's press releases, without looking up any of the fevered praise they've garnered from the UK press, and without even bothering to find out which songs were the singles. Over the years, I have fallen madly in love with plenty of bands, crushed on them like crazy for a week or so, and then suddenly realized that everything they had was in one pretty good song and a bunch of repetitive fluff. Since then, I've learned to play albums by wannabe popsters until I'm good and sick of them, because only then do you figure out what's what.

After all this, I am happy to report that Inside Out/Inside In contains exactly no songs that verifiably suck, and at least seven songs that could be mistaken for lead singles. On the other hand, none of those seven possible singles are particularly distinguished or memorable - the minute the album ends I find I can't recall any hook or melody - and the same diffidence that makes the band so very cute in promo shots robs the music of any enduring qualities.

Their biggest singles, like "Eddie's Gun" compare favorably to golden-age-of-powerpop British hits like "Starry Eyes" by the Records or "School Days" by the Starjets. However, Oasis, the Arctic Monkeys, and especially Supergrass have already done this revival to death. At this point, it's not enough to write winsome pop songs you can sing along to; I now find myself asking Britain's musicians, en masse, "but what have you done for me lately?" In the USA, It's easy to see the Kooks becoming a college hit and selling a bunch of records, which is good for them and their label. But it's also easy to see the album ending up in a couple months on the shelf next to Bush's Sixteen Stone and (just to prove it's not Britain's problem alone) the Strokes' first album as a mildly interesting reminder of that one band, who had that song, that I could probably sing if I could just remember how it starts.

The Kooks are trashy and huggable. The Kooks write incredibly cute pop songs with competence and just enough attitude to make them seem more dangerous than the boys from 'N Sync. But unfortunately, the Kooks are a little boring, too. Inside In/Inside Out is just fine, but 'just fine' doesn't get me hard anymore. If your personal kink is for young and attractive British sensations, or if you're new to the cycle of hype-and-bust, then by all means check this out; it's as okay a place to start familiarizing yourself with Britpop in the '00s as any. But if not, you're probably better off picking up The Kinks Are The Village Green Preservation Society and the Supergrass album of your choice.

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 2

This is what happens when you've seen everything

The Smoking Gun has the tour rider from the latest Iggy Pop tour.

I daresay, without reservation or levity, that it is the finest piece of literary writing I have read in the last twelve months. The roadie responsible has seen it all, dealt with it, and mastered every sort of fuckery from shitty tom toms to the worst dressing rooms in the world.

I'm not kidding; a tour rider that contains references to Pepys, Santiago de Compostela, midgets, the Insane Clown Posse, and more discursions and asides than Pynchon, Sterne, and Emo Phillips put together. Go and read, and try not to laugh out loud. Frigging sweet.

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 1

Apropos nothing specific

From an item in today's inbox, repeat after me:

Quote Of The Day:

"Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth."

— Franklin D. Roosevelt

Posted by Patton Patton on   |   § 4

An introduction to the concept of "Employer-Employee Relationship"

Well, about damned time, I'm thinking.

Oct. 5, 2006
Tribune Co. said Los Angeles Times Publisher Jeffrey M. Johnson has resigned, amid disagreements over the future of the paper. Johnson had defied the company's demands for what he considered potentially damaging staff cuts.

All due respect to what I'm sure were good and strongly-held intentions on the part of Mr. Johnson, but when your boss tells you to do something, you can either do it or quit. Johnson's been taking the imaginary middle ground, to date, and invoking the Nancy Reagan Defense.

He may even be right in claiming that requested cuts at the LA Times would hurt the paper's viablity, and who am I to contradict him? Nobody, that's who. I'm not contradicting him, I'm just saying that he should have been fired the minute he refused a direct order. That's the way life works, and even though he's now "resigned", let's not kid ourselves - he was fired, rightly so.

Based on the shirt-rending hue and cry of the past month in Los Angeles on this matter, the cries of indignation seem likely be broad and loud. If so, they'll all be sadly misplaced. Local groups in and around the metropolis have made noise about buying the Times from Tribune, but haven't made meaningful headway yet. Over the past month, it's sounded, in fact, as though they were trying to insist that the Tribune Co. sell them the paper, but on their terms.

Here's another tip as to how things work: You can insist that, for the good of the community, the paper be sold to local ownership, and you can insist on your own set of terms for that sale. But in America, you can't do both.

And thus, the LA Times, for now, remains the property of the Tribune Co., and with that ownership, they can take whatever management & personnel actions they feel are required. If those actions turn out to be ill-advised, the LA Times, Tribune Co., and their stockholders will suffer, also rightly so.

That, too, is how things work in America.

Posted by Patton Patton on   |   § 7

Wrong!

Ministry Crony EDog insists that Cinnamon Toast Crunch is the best cereal in the universe. He is wrong. It is Cocoa Crispies.

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 8

We Are The American Medical Association

Robert Anton Wilson (no introduction needed, I'm sure) is dying, and is facing eviction from his apartment. Boingboing has the details.

I don't know about you lot, but even though I read the Illuminatus! trilogy while drifting in and out of a flu coma, and even though I didn't "get" half of what the hell was going on (thanks, again, to the fever-pain), in the ten years since I read it, things keep bubbling up that could only have originated in the wild mind of Robert Anton Wilson. At least half of what I come up with for this very website is deeply influenced by his madness, and I owe him a huge debt of gratitude. I wouldn't be the same dude without him.

The Boingboing link has information on where to send checks or paypal payments. According to friends, Wilson as of a couple days ago only has enough money to cover one month's rent, after which he spends his dying days homeless. Not cool.

All the best to RAW, and here's hoping things go his way for a change.

[wik] [Update] There is a later post, also on Boing Boing, that tells us that the donations were coming in, so much so that

Anyway, this morning Bob's daughter showed up at his house in tears because she had checked his PayPal account and found money for next month's rent plus more. Bob called me to say that he couldn't believe people would care so much about him and as we talked (which isn't easy for him at this point) he was overcome with emotion more than once. He is so touched and RELIEVED at the possibility of staying in his home. He kept repeating to me his deep felt appreciation and disbelief that people would care so much about him. What a humble and sweet man.

Which is all to the good. I am sure that continuing medical expenses and everyday bills will quickly deplete that, so continued giving is indicated. For those who can't stomach giving without receiving, there is this, a place where you can buy a nifty tshirt, and for each one, $10 will go to RAW. [- buckethead]

[alsø wik] I just noted that the tshirt link above is to, of all things, Giant Robot Printing. Everyone must buy a tshirt to help RAW. I am frankly stunned, though, that they have no tshirts featuring giant robots.

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 2

Oh, The Humanity!!

In a development that will have thousands nationwide tearing their garments and gnashing their teeth in despair, the Yakima (WA) Herald Republic reports that fully 4% of the US hop harvest this year went up in smoke when the warehouse they were being stored in burned to the ground.

There's just one thing for it, of course; drink more vodka until the shortage is alleviated. Stiff upper lip, all that.

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 0

A Simple Business Tip

I'm sure you've heard the old saw about not starting fights with people who buy ink by the barrel?

Addendum: Don't ever piss off Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers' Tom Perkins.

Quick chronology (sans copious and specific links, since anyone who cares already knows, anyone who doesn't know probably doesn't care, and really, this is all about the juvenile punch line):

  • HP's board was considering changing leadership
  • Not all members were on board with doing so
  • The board got leaky with the press
  • George Keyworth was fingered & drummed out as a board member
  • Tom Perkins didn't like seeing his friend pilloried (even though his friend {ahem} was the source of the leaks)
  • Perkins pitched a bitch, raised holy-hell, and got a Congressional hearing scheduled
  • Now Patricia Dunn, the former chairman of HP's board, stands a chance, however slight, of a career change into the "license plate stamping industry"

Coincidence? You decide. I guess it could be.

But, dig this little-known fact - he also caused her to lose some of her good looks and most of her hair, as evidenced by this pictorial chronology:

image image image

Coincidence? I'd like you to believe I think that's stretching it.

[wik] Speaking of "stretching it", I mashed all those pictures so they'd fit. The last one is distorted such that it's worse looking than the one in the WaPo story, and that's unintentional. So I added a link to the pop-up, full size picture, which is unfortunately, like the mashed version, less than flattering. Also unintentional - she was quite the looker at one time, anti-glamour shots notwithstanding, and Congressional hearings are surely a complete pain in the ass. I blame Tom Perkins.

Posted by Patton Patton on   |   § 0

Just Creepy

I could go on and on about the political and electoral ramifications of the small tactical nuclear explosion that is the decline and fall of Representative Foley (R-Fla). But I won't. Instead, let me make a simple comment on the transcript of one of his IMs, the which can be read here. Just creepy. Creepy.

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 5