perfidy

Steve, I totally agree with you about space exploration. As I get older I tend to realize that there is a finite amount of government money out there, and an infinite number of draws on those funds. If the Government can't or won't pay for space exploration, private citizens and corporations should.

Bully for China. I applaud their enterprise and their effort. But I puzzle at the US's space policy. We went to the Moon years ago, which is like getting to second base with the solar system-- pretty awesome, but only the tip (as it were) of the iceberg. What puzzles me is that, after getting to second, we seemingy decided to settle for boobies instead of trying for home. Guh??!?

Unweildy metaphors aside, what gives? Space exploration drives technology and leads to awesome spinoffs like Tang, Velcro, and freeze-dried ice cream! It inspires scientific and engineering feats of genius! It drives young kiddies to enter the sciences! And it keeps us hungry and eager. Yay China! Where's ours?

Exploration of the universe must go forward at all costs, but financed, like the spice trade, by rich people hoping for fun, profit, and the opportunity to have planets named after them. The government apparently has better things to do, such as busting glass-pipe makers and people who download Dixie Chicks tracks. Forget about them. Let's build awesome, new, devices and fly them high, and let's find rich nerds to pay for it all.

Well, that's nice. CNN is reporting that the "Office" of "Homeland" "Security" are considering ... wait for it... ....wait for it.... adding another level to the Great Rainbow Fear-O-Meter. 
 

"The debate is not over whether to add a new color [to the terror threat alert system], sources said. Instead, a slightly higher warning level may be added within orange. 

Currently the highest level of alert is for a "severe" risk of terrorist attack, indicated by the color red. Below red is orange, meaning a "high" risk of attack exists. 

For now, each level of risk has its own color. Yellow, blue and green follow orange and stand for "elevated," "guarded" and "low" risks of attack, respectively. Sources said the current discussion was prompted by the belief of some in the government that if the U.S. takes military action against Iraq the threat level should be raised above orange to indicate an even greater risk of retaliation against Americans and U.S. targets overseas. But there is fear that raising the risk to the ultimate warning level would do serious harm to an already-shaky economy, the sources said."

Oh holy God. THIS is what the government is spending billions of dollars on? Orange is no longer.... orange enough?? I certainly hope they plan to have several briefings about how to distinguish between Pumpkin Alert, Tangerine Dream Alert, and Kiss' o' Citron Swirl Alert. Without their on-the-spot attention to bureaucratic minutia, I am left dangling, unsure how much time each day to allot to stricken whimpering and existential angst! But wait, there's more important information here!! The article goes on to describe the kinds of suspicious behaviors terrorists engage in, the better to know when to swing to Raw Umber Alert status!

"Sources say the kinds of activity they would consider suspicious include people taking pictures at bridges and subway entrances, and people sitting on train platforms who appear to be monitoring the timing of arrivals and departures."

Because, as we all know, Japanese tourists and lonely old people are the biggest threats of all. I imagine a terrorist would just pick up a schedule from the information kiosk, but I'm not a highly-trained terrorism expert like the geniuses at the "Office" of "Homeland" "Security." 

The OHS is an insulting waste of time and money, and will be remembered as an embarrassing black mark on the administration of Bush the Younger.

LAJES AIRBASE, Azores - Monday will be "a moment of truth for the world," President Bush said Sunday at the conclusion of a summit conference here with America's key allies on the Iraq crisis. Bush said there's only one day left to find a diplomatic solution to the crisis through a United Nations resolution or other means. The U.S. has repeatedly said it will use military force to disarm Iraq if peaceful means fail. Iraqi President Saddam Hussein immediately threatened war "anywhere in the world," denied again that he has weapons of mass destruction, and asked who appointed the United States to be the judge of who gets what weapons.

About goddamn time. An informal poll of taxi drivers north of Boston shows that 100% of drivers poll feel a) An Iraq invasion is inevitable b) Everyone knows it, and c) The sooner the President stops acting like a) and b) aren't obvious to even to dogs and small children, the better off he'll be, and risks the contempt of the American people if he continues pretending there's any other end to this situation. 

I'm inclined to agree. I am somewhat conflicted over the, erm, coming conflict with Iraq (mainly over who exactly will pay for the effort, and exactly what will happen after), but I agree that Saddam's days are down to the very small numbers and that that is nothing but a good thing. 

So stop yanking our cranks and get on with it! We got about the biggest, sorest set of diplomatic blue balls you ever seen! Talky-time is over! Smacky-time is here! Let's do this thing! May a thousand roses of democracy bloom! Just stop..... pretending..... there's..... more..... to.... talk..... about!!!! 

Jesus! 
 

Well, Steve, rather shockingly I find myself agreeing with you on almost all counts, and here I was all ready to grab you by the belt and pull you back from the frogbashing precipice over which have leapt so many of our best and brightest. I only hope they don't think that after all this, they stand a chance of getting in on the ground floor of any reconstruction, nation-building, Marshall Plan, or accolades that would ensue in the event of a successful overthrow of Saddam. They can go pound salt.

I only have this to say in defense of the duplicitous pointy-mustache farmers: any nation that can invent bearnaise sauce can't be all bad. Mmmmmm........creamy.......

Here's a Friday treat-- a very special portrait of the original Dirrty Bomb.

Skanky!!
 

Today, right now, it's all about Bun E. Carlos. Go, Bun E., go!

Now that it's light out and the animal side of me is safely asleep until the next waning gibbous moon, I reread your post below and realize that you're just giving aid/comfort to your friends, who are not really the enemy! Good on me for being quick on the uptake.

Nevertheless, I stand by what I wrote. I have been talking to a lot of good people who neither think that the President is stupid nor think he stole the election, and who still don't agree with the decision to go into Iraq. That's not to claim that "if some people believe it, it must be true", or otherwise I would find myself defending pet psychics and supply-side economists, and that's just crazy talk. But, if a large number of reasonable, intelligent people with whom I interact, and not just in the Berklee East in which I live, do not feel persuaded by the arguments and evidence thus far presented, I feel compelled to investigate that.

I don't know. Maybe it's just my training as a "cultural historian." For years I have successfully fought the peer pressure to see every conflict as a struggle for hegemony, and to always favor the "subaltern" point of view against the erectile opression of the cryptophallocentric majority. (I studied "subaltern history" once. All it taught me was that Peruvian guano exports were the only way in which highland indigenous populations were tied to the colonial government of Peru. Guano. In Peru. Guano!)

But, in the interest of being fair, and owing to the fact that my hawk side has grown more feeble in the last two weeks, I want to hear what the hoopla is all about, from the quiet ones in the back who are being drowned out by the earnest mouth-breathers from the Popular People's Front of Interesting Facial Hair and the International Coalition For The Admiration Of Che's Sexy, Sexy Portrait.

I repeat: Spring is when the short shorts come out.

C'mon, spring! C'mon, spring! Three inches of snow... what the?

C'mon, spring!

Don't blow a gasket, chimpy. Waving a couple signs in the general direction of Congress is no more giving aid and comfort to the enemy than my wiping my ass is destroying the rain forests. I'm exactly as disgusted as you are at the brain-deprived, pablum-puking flower children who claim that "War Never Solved Anything" or "Bush=Nazi" or allow those DMF's in A.N.S.W.E.R. to dominate the antiwar discussion. But, dissent is part of life in the USA, and, the Stalinists aside, a lot of good people are against the war. Don't always understand the arguments, but there they are.

On partial birth abortion

The reason I oppose a ban on "Partial Birth Abortion" is because it, unlike "regular" abortion, cannot be used as a contraceptive measure, but is instead performed when, and only when, those extremely rare, extremely dire, circumstances occur that both baby and mother will die otherwise. This isn't about when the condom breaks-- it is instead the last of the last of the last resorts-- and outlawing it is an empty gesture, enacted only because the larger issue of abortion is still too hotly contested.

Soon to come: my thoughts on life during wartime, and also songs about buildings and food.

Also soon to come: happier things about puppies, balloons, and how awesome Spring is when the short shorts come out.

Arthur Silber over at "Light of Reason" has some very tart words for the Pars-dent. Touching on partial-birth abortions and Iraq, Arthur offers this money quote:

Leave aside for the moment your views on the partial birth abortion bill, and focus on the following instead. By his endless "dance of death" with the U.N. (and that phrase might be all too accurate, in terms of the cost in American lives the longer these delays go on), Bush alienates the pro-war conservatives and moderates, and even the pro-war liberals. By his support of the partial birth ban, Bush alienates the social moderates and liberals -- as he also does by his support for measures such as the "faith-based initiative."

So exactly what constituencies does that leave him? Well, let's see...oh, I know: anti-war social conservatives.

Yeah, lots of those. Good luck, George. You'll need it.

By the way-- the newly-passed Senate "partial-birth abortion" bill does not include an exemption for cases where the mother's life is at risk.
?!?

Bucket, I'm not sure that painting European leaders as pimps and Clintons is exactly constructive, or apt. I mean, I'm on your side in this, and the worst that can be said about Chirac or Schroeder is that they are dim, small-minded calculating opportunists. And in the sucking-up-to-tyrants department, let's not forget that Boston College recently gave a visiting professorship to a former dictator, with more to come.

If "the Jews" really ran the world, don't you think they'd give themselves better PR? This crap with Moran and Buchanan is just utterly, weepingly, stupid. As the WaPost puts it:

There are plenty of good reasons to be against bombing Baghdad. But to portray President Bush's heartfelt desire to rid the world of a dictator and his weapons of mass destruction as part of a Jewish conspiracy is, somehow, insulting.

Damn straight.

As someone who does have misgivings about the Iraq portion of "America's New War" (thanks, CNN!), it gets harder and harder to defend those misgivings when one batch of crazies is bent on making everything about Oil, Stalin, and Hitler, and another batch of crazies is willing to blame some "International Jewish Conspiracy." I believe in Buckethead's words that makes them all 'mendacious f*ckwits.'

Sounds about right.

Those who know me know that I worry about some recent actions taken by the US Justice Department. So far, the USA PATRIOT Act has pretty much failed to change the game either way, though its full potential both for good and eeeevil remains to be proven. But the proposed "PATRIOT II" on the horizon is a much different, much scarier, matter that I'm sure I'll get all red-faced about in future posts.

One of the central unspoken values of American society is the ability for citizens to live free from fear of their government. Indeed, this is one of the features of "by/of/for the people." However, with certain recent actions by the Justice Department to extend the powers of the executive, I feel that, for me at least, this freedom is being threatened, and in the most petty and pointless ways, and it could get worse. But I digress. More also about hashpipes, websites, and packet sniffing to come, lucky you.

Anyway, the good news on this front is that, according to the New York Times, Jose Padilla (Mr. Dirrty Bomb) will be allowed to see his lawyer. This is a good thing. Padilla, though he may be a low-life, is still an American citizen, and unless he is convicted of treason, he will remain one. Most heartening is that the judge hearing the case admonished the Justice Department,

"Lest any confusion remain, this is not a suggestion or a request that Padilla be permitted to consult with counsel, and it is certainly not an invitation to conduct a further `dialogue' about whether he will be permitted to do so. It is a ruling -- a determination -- that he will be permitted to do so," the judge said."

Hopefully, this indicates a trend in which judges question the Justice Department's efforts to designate US citizens "enemy combatants" and thereby automatically suspend their civil rights. Citizenship is a basic gift, and to allow the government to suspend it at will is to cheapen what it means for everyone. If Jose Padilla was really trying to set off a Dirrty Bomb, and if the government really has evidence strong enough to convict, then the Justice Department has nothing to fear from letting the system work.

Just mostly. It's also very much about "Do You Know The Difference Between Big Wood And Brush: The American Song Poem Anthology". As a very astute review in the Observer noted, this 28-song collection is like a phantom radio transmission from what Greil Marcus called the "old, weird America." I've been trying to explain this to people, and I just can't. I end up reduced to gestures, incapable of explaining exactly what's so great-- just that it is. Go out and pick this up, support the good people at Bar/None records, and let your mind unwind to such gems as "Jimmy Carter Says 'Yes'," "Blind Man's Penis," and "Maker of Smooth Music." 
 

Want to tell me about it, for all the good it will do ya? I may be reached at toastdog-at-juno-dot-com. 

What the hell was I thinking? 

Because my compadre Buckethead and I have been having some fascinating (to us) discussions via email that we felt would better fit the format of a weblog. Also, in case we ever wish to run for public office, we want to have a clearinghouse for our enemies who wish to use our own words against us. We believe in convenience. Finally, because I sort of miss being in graduate school and participating in mindless theoretical discussions about senseless minutiae. 

This weblog is about three things: politics, culture, and stupid sh*t, though not necessarily in that order. I am fanatical in my devotion to the majesty of rock and the mystery of roll, the genius of Jackie Chan, and the ability of the American polity, through sheer mass and insensibility, to withstand even the most vigorous assaults from within and without. 

Just who the hell do I think I am? I was born in Ohio on the eve of Nixon's resignation. After this inauspicious beginning, and an excruciating career in Ohio's public school system, I decamped for a slightly different part of Ohio, and college. Seven years later, I woke up with a hangover, a tattoo, and a graduate degree in US History. A recent veteran of the entertainment industry, which I found neither glamorous nor entertaining, I now work at one of the more august institutes of higher learning around. Not telling which one. I think I'm so damn smart. 

I am a centrist. Being brought up in post-industrial Ohio tends to imbue one with a certain innate sense of pragmatism that not even the fiercest postmodern assaults have been able to shake free. But, I'm also an intellectual chauvinist, an optimist, and kind of an asshole. I have seen the worst that both the Left and Right have to offer, and I have thoroughly enjoyed mocking them both. Hence, this forum. Goody for me. 

Missy Elliott is the funk queen of the Universe. For shizzo. 
 

The PM of Serbia has been assassinated in Belgrade. Let's hope this time is different from the last time, mmkay?

First post! w00t! 

[wik] Note from the Ministry. Note that at this early stage, MC P-Saurus had not yet learned to use bold type to distinguish the post title from the body. Note also the pathetic reference to 733t h4x0rz. Happily, his skills developed rapidly, though he had to abandon the two cents moniker from shame. This message from the Minister of Minor Perfidy: Thank you for your cooperation

[alsø wik] this first post was on the earliest incarnation of the blog, founded by Johno and given the moderately clever name, "Johnny Two-Cents." In a few months, there came another first post when the whole operation was aggressively re-branded as The Ministry of Minor Perfidy. 

[alsø alsø wik] At this early stage, neophyte blogger Johno referred to himself as Pythagosaurus.