perfidy

Some have advanced the theory that the Iraqi National Museum (INM) was robbed by a fanatical Amish sect, equipped and trained by the Illuminati-controlled Mossad. The Amish sect (known to opponents as the "Unpaved Amish," due to their resistance to such modern amenities as brick paved roads, but called Der Geheime, Heilige Auftrag des alten Erbrechenabschaums amongst themselves) has been gathering ancient artifacts for eons, even before they migrated to the new world. In a secret compound in Knox county, Ohio, (designed by Aleister Crowley) they store these artifacts, in the hopes of furthering their plans for total world domination by means of antediluvian thaumaturgy.

Or maybe it was the stinking, herring-eating Norwegians.

As rendered by Something Awful.

John Derbyshire of the National Review has some interesting points on the ultimate fate of the artifacts that were looted from the museum in Baghdad. The gist of his argument is that those who stole the Sumerian thingies were in all likelihood museum employees, and will in all likelihhod sell the loot to western collectors, who will eventually die and leave the stuff to a museum in their will. This is a reassuring thought - the artifacts will be dispersed rather than destroyed. It won't be like the burning of the Library, or the Cultural Revolution in China.

Apparently, the French government had to beg the US to allow Chirac to have his 20 minute "business-like" conversation with Bush. Instead of enhancing their world status, France's behavior over the last several months has gotten them ostracized. They are frozen out in Washington and London, and soon, TotalFinaElf will be completely out of Iraq. Frankly, it couldn't happen to a better country.

At least, now that we have eliminated the prior regime, Iraqis now can have different opinions without being shot.

Fun Facts About Syria: 

• In a fight between Syria and Aquaman, Aquaman would win since Superman couldn't just sit there and watch Aquaman get his ass kicked.
• Military estimates say that the conquering of Syria would take months... unless, of course, you don't care about all that collateral damage crap. Then it would only take a couple hours and a few beers.
• The Syrians, unlike the Romulans, cannot turn invisible.
• Syria is not in South America. and,
• Once, while everyone was distracted with an anti-Israel rally, a bunch of monkeys staged a bloodless coup. At first, people found it funny seeing the monkeys playing around in the government's capital - that was until the monkeys started ordering mass executions of dissidents. 
   

I'm going to write a looong essay on exactly why I hate Oliver Stone.

Mike, in my post, the only editorial comment I offered was, "The quote from the station manager seems to indicate that public radio has serious problems with traditional American values like free speech." I said this because the quote from the station manager included the words, "We have a policy that eliminates or restricts the expression of personal opinion on issues of controversy." 

I did not say that NPR had no right to fire him. However, for an institution that receives substantial tax support (in addition to contributions from viewers like you) this attitude is problematical. Especially since it is hypocritical, because any number of other programs on NPR are rather, well, outspokenly liberal. 

As for Oliver Stone, I did not comment editorially on HBO's removal of the program from its schedule. I merely stated, quite clearly, that Stone should be thrown out of a window. 

I spoke most precisely. 
 

Of course one of the reasons that we no longer worry about things like faction, and other concerns of the writers of the Federalist papers (and the anti-federalists, and other founding fathers) is that their solutions to these problems rendered them moot. The Federalist Papers (arguably the most insightful discussion of politics, ever) explains why certain things were included in the new constitution, and why others were not - and reveals the depth of thought that went into the creation of our system of government. These short term solutions are the things that operate in the background, things that are so obvious that to mention them seems almost banal. But at the time, they were revolutionary, in every sense of that word. So, in a very real way, they are very long term - they are so embedded in our conception of how governments should work, that we cannot imagine a legitimate government not having them. 

The Constitution, the condensed political wisdom of the founding fathers, banished (for us) an entire array of political problems that had vexed humanity for all of history. We no longer have to worry over these things. Instead, we began to worry over the details that hovered at the fringes. Naturally, some of these were still very important. For example, once you decide that all people, in principle, are created equal, and deserve all the protection of Constitution and Bill of Rights, you are bound to have the arguments that led to the Civil War. But the essential declaration had already been made, and the Civil War, and then the Civil Rights movement merely (heh) brought the reality in line with the principle. If anything, the original Federalists rendered us silly; as we move toward (slowly, staggering drunkenly) that more perfect union, many of the things we argue about seem increasingly, well, trivial. And this is good, because it means that many of the harder issues have already been solved. 
 

You automatically have gone too far if you post a link to Bonsai Kittens.

We had potato guns when I was a pup, my friends and I built them ourselves from PVC tubing. But I thought everyone knew - especially everyone in Texas, that you never look down the barrel of a loaded gun. Ever. Even if it's only loaded with frogs. Frogs! You don't load potato guns with frogs. It's just not right. Apples, maybe. Pears, sure. Even squash. Frogs, definitely not. Kittens are right out. Especially Bonsai Kittens.

The power of diplomacy

Join the Scorched Earth Party.

Because "ville" is Latin for "Where hicks live."

"Beam me up, Scotty!"

Easter Bunny beaten in savage attack, according to the Smoking Gun. Kinda like that scene from Mallrats...

"Commandante," Oliver Stone's laudatory documentary of jack-booted thug and focus of Hollywood adoration Fidel Castro has been removed from HBO's May schedule. At the Sundance Film Festival, Oliver Stone was asked, "What did you think of Fidel?" Stone answered, "I thought he was warm and bright. He's a very driven man, a very moral man. He's very concerned about his country. He's selfless in that way." Stone needs to be defenestrated.

In a Washington Post story, we hear that the Palestinian authority has not requested, not asked, not even pleaded; they have demanded that the United States release Abu Abbas, the terrorist reponsible for the Achille Lauro hijacking and the death of American citizen Leon Klinghoffer. They cite the Oslo accords as the basis for their demands, but considering the fact that the entire intifada of the last two plus years is in violation of the Oslo accords, I think they should at the very least shut the hell up.

But it doesn't even sound good on paper. Dictatorship of the proletariat? It seems to be all about resentment; resentment of those who have stuff, resentment of those who have better fashion sense, whatever. And while religious religions like Christianity and Islam and Buddhism keep the promised land safely in the afterlife, Marxism and its heretical splinters make promises here on Earth, promises that have been proven false over and over again. If you're going to have a secular religion, I might humbly offer the American dream, and the adoration of the republic that used to be common hereabouts. 

While the American Dream(tm) is not always, everywhere perfectly realized, the reality of American life gets closer to the dream as time goes by, rather than further away. The idea that anyone, red, brown, black, white yellow, plaid or purple-polka-dotted can come here, accept a few basic concepts, and make good is basically a real offer. All you have to do is not try to kill your neighbors because they don't talk like you, work hard, apply some initative and *poof* you've got the American dream - however you define it. If that is a house in the suburbs, 2.4 kids, a dog, a cat and a convertible; great. If it's a compound in the Idaho mountains, just apply concept #1, above, and you're still fine. If the American dream is living a bohemian lifestyle in a city condemning the soceity that makes it possible for you to be a bohemian in the city condemning it, that's fine too. This secular religion gives you the liberty to do that, and the liberty to screw up, but it doesn't kill you, throw your family in a gulag, force your grandma to work on a collectivized farm, and in general erase history, lie, terrorize and poster the entire nation with poorly drawn portraits of the great leader.