Precognitive Dog

Buckethead Buckethead

My grandmother used to say that everyone had a special purpose. In our family, this has come to mean that everyone has a superpower. Not necessarily a really cool special power like regeneration or flying or being bulletproof, but rather an odd or uncanny ability that can only be explained by reference to Grandma's saying. I have finally figured out what my dog's special power is.

He has the amazing ability to see a short distance into the future to determine what I or my wife will be doing, so that he can go there and lay down to sleep.

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 4

§ 4 Comments

1

I used to have a super power.

For awhile I went through life as Average Man. I had the ability to make everything OK. Not terrific, not tangerines and rainbows, and certainly not worse. But OK.

Marriage, though, seemingly nullified that power.

GeekLethal GeekLethal

2

My special power is either a) the ability to not hit bicyclists or b) the ability to fill a gas tank to even dollar amounts without inching up from ten cents under.

Buckethead Buckethead

3

Wow, that second one's pretty good.

If you could do that, AND get your gas cap screwed back on *before* the pump asks if you want a receipt, that would be some big magic.

GeekLethal GeekLethal

4

Special purpose? Of course that reminded me of this:">http://www.awesomefilm.com/script/jerksc.html]this[/url]:

Navin This will give me a whole different perspective on this. (Patty squeezes Navin's backside) Hey! You're really trying to be accurate! Is it getting hot in here? Wait a minute - what's happening to my special purpose?

Patty What's your special purpose?

Navin Well when I was a kid my mom told me... there goes my special purpose! And someday I'd find out what my special purpose was!

Patty Today's the day!

Navin (the whole trailer shakes) Hey, this is like a ride!

[On the porch of Navin's old house]

Grandmother (reading a letter) My dear family, guess what. Today I found out what my special purpose is for. Gosh what a great time I had. I wish my whole family could have been here with me. Maybe some other time as I intend to do this a lot. Every chance I get. I think next week I'll be able to send some more money as I may have extra work. My friend Patty promised me a blow job.

Your loving son, Navin.

Patton Patton

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