Best description ever of Dan Brown's writing style?
Found on Digg Spy, as the most intelligent comment on a story entitled "Tom Hanks signs on to Angels & Demons for Record Payout?".
Now, mind you, it came after a bunch of comments about how Angels & Demons was far superior to the Da Vinci Code. Which is absurd, as it's like comparing runny shit to smelly shit. Who knows which was actually worse? Who cares? They both (the books, not the types of shit) served a purpose, namely to be throw-away airport reading purchases, which is precisely how I came to read them both.
Anyway, the comment linked above, from Dumbledorito, reads, in its entirety:
A&D has a plot so linear you could put your eye out with it. Plus, it has an antimatter bomb (WTF?) and will probably piss off even more Catholics. The ending was more improbable than the Pope having been a former ping-pong champion, and lastly, if you're going to make a movie about the Illuminati, it should be based on the works of Robert Anton Wilson.Sorry to rant. I just didn't care for it. It was also another "scholar wet dream" film as the bookish nerd-professor gets the hot chick thanks to his esoteric knowledge of an obscure subject.
Yeah, like s/he said.
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B,
B,
I read DVC a couple years ago over a Saturday when I was bed-ridden and floaty from muscle relaxants and pain killers.
From page one it was obvious that Brown was not writing a goofy novel but a goofy screenplay. I did read the whole thing, but the only thing keeping my from throwing it across the room after 50 pages (and at least 3 deus-ex-machina plot advancers) was my excruciating back pain that, even with liberal doses of vicodin, was enough to preclude all novel-throwing.
Only mildly apropos Dan Brown
Only mildly apropos Dan Brown, have a look at the site [url=http://www.librarything.com/work/412]LibraryThing[/url]
That's a link to the "zeitgeist" on DVC, but the site, overall, seems like it could be an excellent resource on books generally.
(and, for the record, the
(and, for the record, the first three comments at LibraryThing appear to have been written by drooling retards)
I got through about fifty
I got through about fifty pages of DVC before throwing it across the room in disgust. I have a reasonably high tolerance for fluff in literature, I can generally read (if nothing better is available) most anything and enjoy it. If no books are to hand, I'll read road signs, cereal boxes or whatever is around.
But I lost it with DVC because Dan Brown had already used up his quota of ridiculous plot twists, stilted writing, retarded conspiracy theories and warped history in Angels and Demons. I finished that book, but I nearly screamed at the end. The pope was one of the only likable characters in the book, and the ending was totally out of character for him, but totally in character for the book, as one more example of its stupendous, cloying badness.
The cottage industry of Da Vinci Code commentary, outrage, and (more scarily) belief is nauseating past all capacity to describe.