perfidy

Enemies of humanity are busy at work this week, endangering our racial survival on a broad front.

First up is this group of 'scientists':

Pittsburgh's Safar Centre for Resuscitation Research has developed a technique in which subject's veins are drained of blood and filled with an ice-cold salt solution. The animals are considered scientifically dead, as they stop breathing and have no heartbeat or brain activity. But three hours later, their blood is replaced and the zombie dogs are brought back to life with an electric shock.

Plans to test the technique on humans should be realised within a year, according to the Safar Centre.

The researchers claim that this research could lead to hundreds, even thousands of saved lives. It is well known that the sooner medical treatment can be brought to bear on a trauma victim, the better the chances of survival. The scientists say they believe that this technique could greatly extend the period when life-saving treatment can be successfully applied. Of course, trifling with the undead has a long history of high ideals and tragic, gory endings.

Tests show they are perfectly normal, with no brain damage.

Yeah, right:

Creating man's best undead friend is only the beginning for these tireless, yet clever, enemies of mankind. Witness this example of mind-numbing stupidity in the guise of science:

Researchers at the University of Michigan have developed a robotic breast "examiner." Combining ultrasound and an finely honed sense of touch, this robotic hand will enable "trained medical personnel" to cop a feel from across continents.

"Just because you’re located in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan or even Botswana, it doesn’t mean you can’t have a sophisticated diagnostic or therapeutic procedure."

Sure. Just like vibrators were originally sold as "marital aids," these devices will not remain in the hands of researchers for long. Under the control of artificially intelligent robot overlords these nefarious devices will be a handy tool for subverting half the human population; making our eventual demise that much quicker.

[I might add a modest prediction: that is exactly as close as that guy will ever get to touching an actual human breast.]

Imagine the humiliation, as you - one of the last surviving humans on earth - are mercilously hunted by autonomous hunter-killer drones. Cornered, you pull your gun, determined to go down in a blaze of glory. But instead of maniacal laughter, or a toneless admonition that "resistance is futile!" you hear only this:

"Smell my finger."