Rudeness, and possible reasons therefore
In a Huffington Post blog entry (via the last item in today's WSJ Best of the Web, after a bit of work, because BOTW referred to it, in error, I'm certain, as the "Puffington Host"), we find this dispatch from the cultural battleground, describing an encounter at the White House Correspondent's Dinner:
In his attempt to dismiss us, Mr. Rove turned to head toward his table, but as soon as he did so, Sheryl reached out to touch his arm. Karl swung around and spat, "Don't touch me." How hardened and removed from reality must a person be to refuse to be touched by Sheryl Crow? Unfazed, Sheryl abruptly responded, "You can't speak to us like that, you work for us." Karl then quipped, "I don't work for you, I work for the American people." To which Sheryl promptly reminded him, "We are the American people."
While I don't doubt for a second that Karl Rove is capable of random rudeness to songstresses and Hollywood types who make fake documentaries, I figured there had to be a better reason, and that James Taranto, of Opinion Journal, was too polite to tell the rest of the story. It turns out that there's an excellent chance Rove just doesn't know where Sheryl Crow's hand had recently been.
The answer was found in another entry at the Huffington Post site, Sheryl Crow's wisdom on how to help stop the ravages of our future global warming overlords. This excerpt summarizes both her deep, deep thinking on the matter and the reason for Rove's apprehension at her attempted laying on of hands:
I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming.Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, whose judgment I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, "how bout just washing the one square out."
See also (first four found via links from Huffington Post):
- Rosie O'Donnell Mocks Sheryl Crow's War on Toilet Paper
- Sheryl Crow Cast as Bond Girl in Next 007 Film, "Stinkfinger"
- Sheryl Crow Saving the World One Toilet Paper Square at a Time
- Stinky Finger Crow Attacks
- And last but not least, this post, plus comments, at Ace of Spades
[wik] Possibly related, regarding Sheryl Crow: She’s well intended, and I don’t mean this with any disrespect, but she’s dumber than a road lizard.
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The lady can't have
The lady can't have considered even for a minute the practical consequences of 'one square per'.
Sanitation is the easy one. I've been to parts of the world where TP was non-existant; where touching anyone with your left hand is rude bordering on gross. Why? Because that's the hand they use 'for that'.
I'm pretty happy not living in a place with a left-hand taboo.
As some wit at Ace's
As some wit at Ace's explained, she probably meant 1 square yard, and just forgot to be specific.
Sheryl Crow obviously doesn't
Sheryl Crow obviously doesn't have IBS like moi. I won't go into details, but not everyone can trust their bodily functions to be 2- to 3-square neat all the time. If someone were, by chance, to impose a square limit on me, they'd have one fearfully pissy momma on their hands. (Heh, she said "piss.") In fact, if they did so after forcing me to eat their raw vegan feast, there's no way I'd get out of the bathroom alive. (Can't digest most raw veggies without trouble, you see.) Fortunately, I hear organic hemp curtains are nice and soft....
Actually, since she's dumber
Actually, since she's dumber than a road lizard, she could have IBS and just not think anything odd about it.
Mind you, I'm just exploring the space here.
Whose bodily functions are 2
Whose bodily functions *are* 2 to 3 square neat? I mean, since we're sharing.... I'm a mosta-the-time vegetarian who eats a virtuous hi-fiber diet like all the books say to, and who exercises the requisite 4-5 times per week and everything, and sometimes I'm more of a 2 to 3 roll consumer.
And that's leaving out the raw vegetables.
A former boss of mine once described raw food enthusiasts as "a bunch of smarmy self satisfied hippies who fart a lot."
That's right, two to three
That's right, two to three rolls.
I want this stuff out there in the world so that seventeen years from now my children can feel incredible shame when they stumble upon it.
Or stumbleupon.com it, if that jackass place is still around.
1 square? Maybe that's why
1 square? Maybe that's why Lance ditched her.