perfidy

Riding Rockets, Mike Mullane

I'm sure this book was all the rage on boyblogs when it first got published. Buckethead likes to tease me like he's from Planet Arrested Development, but I know he's not that bad. He's not an astronaut and lacks The Right Stuff. Being an astronaut either takes being a special kind of pig or else a really ginormous brain. Since we are neither, Buckethead and I will have to stay grounded on earth.

As for Mike Mullane, USAF Ret., he's got IT. The Right Stuff. The Goods. The cojones. That "cocky bastard something" gives him the gumption to walk up to Bo Derek on a beach and start basically hitting on her in front of her husband. Same again with putting his arm around Christie Brinkley at the Super Bowl. He's got the golden wings of an astronaut. The book is about his journey into space. THREE TIMES. That's three more times than the rest of us yahoos.

More than being an insider's take on becoming an astronaut or about NASA, I was fascinated by his perspective on the Challenger disaster and the lessons learned from it as an organization. While I would love to go to Mars and the Moon, I'm not sure how I will feel about being vaporized in space. Nor do I feel like I'd survive the space vomit syndrome that's common up there. When I was a kid, I'd throw up in the car after about 10 minutes, before my pop could even get onto the PA Turnpike. (We lived right next to an exit.) I doubt I'd pass the Vomit Comet or the 15-minute enema. (And that duration was **VOLUNTARY**)

This guy isn't some saintly man going up against The Big Organization in some David and Goliath story. Even though he's completely arrogant, he retains his humility enough to tell you that he went to see a shrink and buckled while fighting the organization and it's mercurial and cryptic managers. I could never work for guys like Young. I'm too chatty and their stony silence and inability to look you in the eye would bug the crap out of me. I must not want to go into space that badly. But I do like to blow things up and things that go boom.

One day, I will be in Florida to watch a rocket launch. I'm going to make one of my old skating buddies fulfill his promise of letting me watch a launch from his house in Cocoa Beach. He and his wife are both NASA rocket engineers. It's their life's work. How lucky they are to be a part of greatness.

If you're a guy, DON'T READ THIS BOOK. You'll find out how much of a man you ain't. (Ross, being Canadian, isn't even a contender.)