The quest continues
What quest, I see you asking yourself?
The one designed to make sure that nobody ever takes a Libertarian candidate seriously, thanks for asking. In an article entitled "Loretta Nall campaigning on her cleavage", we're informed that:
Loretta Nall, the Libertarian Party’s write-in candidate for governor of Alabama, is campaigning on her cleavage and hoping that voters will eventually focus on her platform.“It started out as a joke, but it blew up into something huge,” said Nall, a 32-year-old with dyed blond hair.
Sorry, dear - hate to burst your bubble, but it's still a joke.
I'm sympathetic to many of the ideas espoused by Libertarian candidates, insofar as I can separate the seemingly copious stupidity of some of the party's adherents from the ideas themselves. No fascist, I tend to think that people should be allowed to do many of the things that the laws of the various states presently prohibit. Many of those laws have only passing basis in maintaining an orderly society, and the Libertarians broadly support getting rid of such regulations.
However...
Here (from the linked article) are the things Nall stands for:
- Withdrawal of the Alabama National Guard from Iraq
- Tax credits for sending children to private school and home schooling
- Opting out of the No Child Left Behind Act
- Legalizing marijuana
- Not complying with the Patriot Act and the Real ID Act.
Well, all that, plus tits.
And of the items on her list, I only see one that's actually within the purview of a state governor, from Alabama or anywhere else in the US, to control.
So, loosely viewed, she's either pissing up a rope, or she thinks everyone's stupid enough to fall for her moronic platform. To my complete lack of surprise, I find that:
The Libertarian Party could not collect the 40,000 voter signatures needed to get her name on the ballot, and she has not reached the $25,000 threshold in contributions that would require her to file a campaign finance report.
She puts her cleavage behind her deeply held beliefs, however:
Early in her campaign, she talked about how her misdemeanor arrest for marijuana possession in 2002 led her to start the U.S. Marijuana Party.
So there's that - she's a woman of her (misdemeanor) convictions. And she's an entertainer, it seems:
Then she entertained readers of her campaign Web site with lots of information about her personal life, including a discussion of why she doesn’t wear panties.
All due respect to the Libertarian Party, but next time somebody tells me, incorrectly, that my vote, two weeks hence, for Kinky Friedman as governor of Texas is wasted, I'll point them toward the story of Loretta Nall, and they'll know what a truly wasted vote would look like.
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GL, you insensitive clod.
GL, you insensitive clod.
Of course, you're also
Of course, you're also absolutely right.
It's a shame that the
It's a shame that the Libetarian Party cannot make itself useful. It would be nice if they could stake out some sensible Federalist positions and help pull the Republicans back towards small government and protection of liberties.
Instead they are determined to make idiots of themselves on every issue.
Bram,
Bram,
Take charge. I'll vote for you.
Well, probably- how's your cleavage?
GeekLethal,
GeekLethal,
I plan to resurrect the Federalist Party as soon as I develop enough charisma to convince even myself to vote for me. Maybe I’ll be the Karl Rove of the party – you interested in being the front-man?
It might have helped her
It might have helped her fundraising, and her campaign in general, if she were hot.
Bram,
Bram,
Well I probably have the tits for it, but my candidacy could never withstand the close scrutiny of my life of the sort that media bring against political candidates.
If if has to be a Minister, go with Johno or Buckethead. B has the burly mountain-man thing, and at- 6'4 is it?- we'd make sure he stands very close to his opponents for photos. Although not as physically menacing, Johno can do sincerity very convincingly, and could bring in the chick demographic on that alone.
I'm out, thanks to my sordid
I'm out, thanks to my sordid past and penchant for saying what I think.
Great! Sounds like we have a
Great! Sounds like we have a pretty good ticket.
Our platform: Amend the the Constitution to read "We really mean it!" at the end of the first 10 Amendments.
Patton, I don't know about
Patton, I don't know about that...
Saw Kinky do a show a few years back and he was pretty wasted.
Bram,
Bram,
Actually, at the Ministry we tend to vote a straight Fuckwhytte ticket.
Like the rubes who vote will
Like the rubes who vote will be able to tell the difference!
Ed:
Ed:
But is he soliciting votes with his tits? I think not.
Of course, there's at least one Quixotic similarities between him and Nall. Marijuana decriminalization is on his agenda (not legalization, which is, somewhat stupidly, a federal issue), and isn't one of my hot buttons, in any event. There's no surprise that he'd be wasted occasionally, since he's pals with Willie Nelson. I wonder if he's also got a plan for mushrooms?
And, not that it matters, since they're not opponents, but he's less off-putting to look at than Ms. Nall, and probably weighs less.
ugh.
ugh.
"hey, you got your patchuli-scented whiny blond scank blog in my Libertarian campaign!"
"Hey, you got your Libertarian campaign on my patchuli-scented whiny blond scank blog!"
Reeces Peanut butter cups it ain't.
And one of the lesser attractive women from Bama I've seen in a while.
Patton:
Patton:
But there's the technical qualifications to consider. The office of Govenor of Texas is a job for, basically, an empty suit. The Lt Govenor has all the power. The problem is Kinky's got a little too much reality (did I say that) for the job. Bell looks like an ambulance chaser (what a coincidence). Carol Keeton whatever-her-name-is-this-week is probably qualified, but won't talk issues (neither will anybody else- Kelo, anyone?) For Perry, finding another job where you influentally do nothing all day is difficult. It's govenor, lobbyist, or chief of administration at HISD.
Ed: So you're saying Kinky's
Ed: So you're saying Kinky's not an empty-enough suit?
Carol Keeton Landrover Haberdasher Vaginacologist is a nitwit, and when she didn't know the name of the new President of Mexico during the debate, she filibustered, huffed, and puffed. She doesn't talk about issues because, well, she's stupid. Ignorance is fixable, stupid's forever.
I figure that every so often, a complete non-politician needs to be run through the system to clean it out. Sadly, that can't be done at the national level, but particularly in a state such as TX, where the Guv job is so ephemeral, it could work.
Like the Kinkster says:
"Why the hell not?"
"How hard can it be?"
Patton,
Patton,
I like your "bore-punch" or "douche" theory of political cleanliness. A sensible arguement for term limits. A more entertaining method would be a pre-election lottery in the U.S. Senate. The loser would be forever barred from holding that office again - then a random citizen from his state would be appointed instead. Imagine the ratings.
Bram,
Bram,
I likey, but take it home: that person randomly selected would not be appointed. Oh no. I'm thinking "election by combat" here.
Would be a good way to ensure that candyasses were forever prohibited from elected office.
GL, to be sure, your plan
GL, to be sure, your plan would indeed keep candyasses out of office. And the ratings would keep tv producers hard for months. But remember, being a wuss is not the only fault a politician can have.
We should either go totally random, or else set up a series of challenges that would weed out not only the weak, but the stupid, the unwise, the reckless, the thoughtless, and the ethically challenged.
B,
B,
"weed out ...the stupid, the unwise, the reckless, the thoughtless, and the ethically challenged."
Well, you have fun finding anyone left to hold office after those trials. What, are you looking for a parliament for Candyland? And they can ride to the chamber on unicorns?
Give me a straight ahead, mano-a-mano combat betwixt the challenger and incumbent, or between two newbies after the incumbent steps down.
Whosoever wields his steel true shall rule all tribes- Latinos, Chicks, Fat Bastards, Homos; Geat, Scylding, and Dane.