The Switzerland of New England; cold, ambivalent and tied to Nazi gold

Today, the mockery of states continues with the first of far too damn many states beginning with the word "New." This is evidence, I believe, of a serious and startling lack of creativity on the part of our forebears. Couldn't they have done better than naming a state after some pox-ridden, benighted and impoverished British locality where people spoke funny and ate odd cheeses? Apparently, no. Nevertheless, here is the state of New Hampshire.

  • The Switzerland of New England; cold, ambivalent and tied to Nazi gold
  • Live Free or DIE!
  • Like Old Hampshire, only newer
  • Taxing out-of-staters since 1804
  • We're Just Like Vermont, But Smaller and Cozier
  • Yes, it's on the map ... somewhere
  • Your Primary Choice
  • Rocky soil and stony hearts
  • Just Leave Us The Hell Alone
  • The Other White Meat
  • Mmmm… Maple
  • You can’t get there from here
  • The State Liquor Store State
  • Proud Home of Mary Morse Baker Eddy, Sarah Josepha Buell Hale, Thaddeus Sobieski Coulincourt Lowe and other people with two many fucking names
  • Mother of tiny, insignificant rivers
  • Drive-thru booze!
  • Live Free or I won't like you anymore
  • Go away, Masshole
  • About as exciting as Vermont
  • The White Mountain State. Okay, the White Hill State
  • The Spotted Newt State
  • At least we’re not Vermont
  • President Coolidge should have been born here
  • The Little Wooden Statue of a Crusty Sailor State
  • White Mountains Are Better Than Green
  • Here We Cease Our Motion
  • Look out for other states (cough… Vermont) masquerading as glorious New Hampshire
  • You’d think libertarians would be welcome here. And you’d be wrong.
  • We had very little to do with the Revolution
  • Ignore those copycat Vermonter scum
  • Live Free or Get Very, Very Sick
  • The Florida of Canada
  • We hate Vermont

[wik] Bonus slogans!

  • Taxes, we don't need no stinking taxes!
  • Top destination for refugees from Massachusetts
  • The pinko-free New England state
  • Come for the tax-breaks, stay for the guns
Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 4

§ 4 Comments

1

As I'm sure you're all aware, the next state is New Jersey. If you would like to email your suggestions to me, I can incorporate them into the post before hand, for a super-duper mockery of that state.

4

"The pinko-free New England state"

"Come for the tax-breaks, stay for the guns"

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