Not-so-cunning linguists

GeekLethal GeekLethal

This year's winner of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest:

Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean.

In a related vein- a throbbing, purple vein- is the 2006 Goku-Lytton Award for the Worst First Line in Erotic Fan Fiction.

Next year the Ministry fully expects to be competitive in either contest.

Posted by GeekLethal GeekLethal on   |   § 2

§ 2 Comments

1

You bet we do.

It's lines like the one you quoted that keep trying splurt onto the page whenever I look at the serial story. Which, of course, is why I've so completely dropped the ball on that.

And having a note in my inbox entitled "Areolae" should help, but hasn't so far.

Patton Patton

2

Oh, and having traipsed over to SA, per your link, this line contains a section likely to be one I'll use (with attribution) in the future:

Picking out winning entries for the B-L 2006 is like lifting turds out of an ocean of diarrhea and congratulating each for their abhorrence. The Internet exists as a long opening line for the appallingly terrible novel being written by the collective minds of all of mankind.

Patton Patton

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