perfidy

"Thank God We're Out of Oklahoma"

"Colorado: A Million Illegal Mexicans Can't Be Wrong"

"Home of the Pikes Peak Community Technical Vocational College's intramural ultimate frisbee team: the Fighting Lark Buntings"

"We gave the world Tim Allen AND Zachery Ty Bryan. Suck on THAT, Utah!"

My personal fave:

"The Reference Ellipsoid State"

Gosh...I should add some to this, seeing as how I inhabit it.

-- Colorado - perversely enjoying being upstream of California AND Texas.

-- Colorado - Like California ten years ago without the earthquakes.

-- Colorado - clothing and turn signals optional.

-- Colorado - Ok, SOMEBODY had to have a Boulder.

-- Colorado - We're ALL members of the Mile High Club.

-- Colorado - All the cool people in the world plus EDog.

-- Colorado - Yeah, we know the airport looks weird.

-- Colorado - Wildfires mean prettier sunsets.

I'm sure I'll think of more, but hey, I got a novel to plot.

-EDog

G:

Good ones, but there's an error in your second item. It should read “Colorado: The Million Illegal Mexicans Who Couldn’t Find Houston”

E:

Yours all had the double benefit of being both funny and, quite literally with only one exception, the truth.

-- Colorado - Die Elway, Die Die Die! GRAAAAHHHGH!
-- Colorado - Crushing the hopes of generations of Ohioans.

I lived in Colorado for seven years.

Q: Why does the wind in Colorado blow from west to east?

A: Because Kansas sucks.

Good multi-purpose joke, that. Here in TX, primarily during college football season, it's told like so:

Q: Why doesn't Texas float off into the Gulf of Mexico?

A: Because Oklahoma sucks.

But, of course, that has nothing to do with Colorado, so never mind.

Patton: I don't think Kansas sucking precludes the possibility of Oklahoma sucking. I use the same joke to explain the prevailing winds in Minnesota (blaming Iowa, of course) and have never had anyone ever say "Wait a minute...You already said Kansas sucks...Iowa can't suck, too!"

The reason, of course, that no one has ever said this is that everyone realizes that Kansas and Iowa both suck. I suspect that many suspect the same of Oklahoma...

Speaking of Minnesota and John Denver reminds me of a weekend in high school (living in MN at the time) where my parents were out of town and my brother staying at a friend's house.

The party wasn't big or wild. I don't believe that any alcohol at all was involved, to be honest. But I declared it "John Denver Weekend" and only played his greatest hits LP over and over. A poster was included with the record (which was my dad's I guess, though it seems very out of character for him...) and I put it up hanging in the front door. Before anyone could enter they had to say "John Denver, I love you" to the poster.

(That probably explains the low turnout, BTW.)

Anyway, the hangover from six straight hours of John Denver blasting in the house is pretty serious, even without any alcohol. I believe that that was the spring of 1986.

Thanks for letting me share.

Long as we're continuing to bag on John Denver...

The first time I heard this I was driving, and I nearly ran off the road.

John Denver strangled

EDog