perfidy

I think a conversation between the national intelligence leadership and the President over this article might be fun to overhear.

I think it would boil down to something like:

"Mr. President, Pennsylvania officials have intercepted an attempt to smuggle graphite."

"Graphite? How do you smuggle graphite? I mean, wha...wha...you got your spray paint, you got your wall, you paint your name or whatever..."

"That's graffiti, Mr. President. g-r-a-f-f-i-t-i. This plot revolves around graphite, g-r-a-p-h-i-t-e. It's a material with broad uses in industry, including the atomic industry."

"Ah huh, atomic industry. G-r-a-p-h-i-t-e. I see...."

"Ahh, yes, sir...well. To get to the point, some in the intelligence community believe this plot involved smuggling graphite in order to further nuclear programs in developing cou...ahhh...in evil countries, sir."

"Ah huh, evil. Graphite. Nukular. I see..."

"Intelligence estimates are inconclusive at this time, Mr. President, but ..."

"Ah huh, but. Wait. But? But what?"

"Other national agencies sir are unwilling to commit, at this time, to my analysis. They, ah, are leaning toward another interpretation."

"Ah huh, terpuhtations."

"Yes sir, they feel that graphite, on its own, does not indicate imminent nuclear attack by a rogue madman."

"Ah huh..."

"They feel it could be...pencils."

"Pencils?"

"At this point, Mr President, the intelligence community is divided. Could indicate a desire to jumpstart a villainous nuclear program. Could indicate a desire to manufacture pencils. Tough to call at this point, sir."