perfidy

Since the beginning of radio, people have been bitching about how much radio sucks. Seriously. After the very first test of his system, Guglielmo Marconi's wife was heard to say, "Ehi, vede se niente è altro su!"* This is why I declined to comment last week on Clear Channel's announcement that they will no longer accept money from independent promoters. After all, anything the Ultimate Evil does has to be bad, right? Even if it seems like a good thing?

This article from the Boston Globe says much of what I would have said, but more clearly and professionally:

"There was a good deal of static in the radio industry last week when industry giant Clear Channel announced that it would not renew contracts with independent record promoters after they expire this summer.
Some called the severing of those longstanding relationships a step toward cleaning up borderline practices in the industry - the so-called ''pay for play'' that translates dollars directly into on-air spins and has become the modern version of payola. And independent promoters (several were contacted and refused to comment) may find themselves working harder for a dwindling amount of record company money.

But radio listeners aren't likely to hear much improvement. In fact, say some industry insiders, the range of music broadcast may become even more narrow as the indie promoters are phased out."

Yup. That's exactly what's going to happen. Now, I'm not about to defend the shady and corrupt world of radio promotions, but they do perform a necessary and potentially honorable service. How would I know? Well, I know the King of Radio Promotions, though he is self-styled and lives in New Jersey (hey... everyone has their drawbacks).

What is this potentially honorable service that indies do?. Essentially, they are hired to call as many radio stations as possible to talk up new records, because record labels don't have the time to do all the work on their own. Indies are hired for their Rolodexes, and how well they know the peopel in them. There is nothing-- nothing-- wrong with that, at the basic level.

The trouble comes when two things happen: 1) The big dogs hire the big dogs. If Sony hires Bill McGathy to work their new rock record, it has a MUCH bigger chance of becoming a hit than if they were to hire a less well-known promoter. But, Bill isn't cheap. Most can't afford him, and big stations won't return calls from the little guys. 2) Fat bags of cash exchange hands. Usually, it's not as blatant as all that, but let's face it. Sometimes when you're working a dog of a record, just a terrible slab of music, you need to thow' in a li'l extra to seal the deal. Everyone does it! You need a band to play your Christmas show? Great! Samplers? Sure! Trip for your Programming Director? Um... lemme check with legal... ok. Again, this skews the focus of the radio promotions game away from good music, to whatever pays.

But, big radio is driven by what people like. The positive side of cutting indies out of the deal is, radio stations will pay more attention to call-out research (they call people, play them 15 seconds of a song, ask what they think) and phone requests. The negative side is also that stations will pay attention to call-outs and requests. Study after study shows that people want to hear what they've already heard. If you are Joe Normal, searching the car radio for driving tunes, you are, unscientifically, 99% more likely to stop on AC/DC than on some Built to Spill b-side that, though it might be the greatest song ever, has never passed Mr. Normals ear-holes before. Furthermore, since radio stations only add a couple songs to their playlists every couple weeks, only the guaranteed hits, which will pull in guaranteed ad revenue, get a listen. There is no room for the new Tsar single when Audioslave's single dropped last week, Kid Rock's and Korn's drop this week, and next week is Creed and Puddle of Mudd.

All in all, this means that corporate-owned radio stations, who dominate the radio market, tend to narrow their playlists to include only the familiar. The new and strange barely has a chance. Without the mean, nasty, eeevil indies to man the phones on behalf of non-guaranteed hits, the new and strange, and even the new and derivative, has NO chance.

*Approximately, "See if anything else is on." I don't speak Italian. I barely speak English.

Mike, in my post, the only editorial comment I offered was, "The quote from the station manager seems to indicate that public radio has serious problems with traditional American values like free speech." I said this because the quote from the station manager included the words, "We have a policy that eliminates or restricts the expression of personal opinion on issues of controversy." 

I did not say that NPR had no right to fire him. However, for an institution that receives substantial tax support (in addition to contributions from viewers like you) this attitude is problematical. Especially since it is hypocritical, because any number of other programs on NPR are rather, well, outspokenly liberal. 

As for Oliver Stone, I did not comment editorially on HBO's removal of the program from its schedule. I merely stated, quite clearly, that Stone should be thrown out of a window. 

I spoke most precisely. 
 

Buckethead, WELL SAID. Very, very nice. 

Speechifying 

Mike (and Bucket), both NPR and HBO are within their rights to do what they did, no matter how odius either action may be. The airing of an Oliver Stone documentary is not a free speech issue-- Stone is perfectly free to take his insane ravings to the corner of Hollywood and Vine, if he so chooses. HBO, like NPR, made an editorial decision. The First Amendment only comes in to play when someone is being barred from expressing their views in a public forum. NPR, supported as they may be by donations, still don't make the grade. I wish they hadn't fired the guy, but what more do you expect from NPR? Private companies are very different from public spaces, and the First Amendment does not apply in the same way-- just look at ol' Hootie Johnson and his Constitutionally protected right to yammer like a jackass about how the women-folk would ruin his eighteen-hole old folks' home forever. 
 

BH, I recall a post not too long ago in which you criticized NPR Michigan for firing an on-air employee who supported the war against Iraq and criticized NPR's coverage. You asserted that the dismissal of the pro-war employee constituted a violation of free speech. Now it seems that you're supporting HBO in their decision not to air an Oliver Stone documentary on Castro. Why is this not a violation of Stone's free speech?

If you believe that HBO is a corporation with the legal rights to restrict what it airs, you're right. But if you also argue that NPR is truly, as the name implies, public, then I wish to point out that it's only public in that it is supported with voluntary donations rather than advertising dollars. NPR, similar to HBO, also has the right to decide who works for them. Thus, I'm seeing an inconsistency here.

Free Speech is a thorny issue. The Supreme Court ruled that free speech is not absolute; you cannot yell fire in a crowded theater. There are laws against slander, libel, and terroristic threats. Broadcast corporations decide what they air and what they don't. I submit that NPR was engaging in the same kind of decision as HBO when NPR dismissed their Michigan employee for espousing strong opinions on a highly controversial issue. According to NPR, they have a policy that the on-air folks not do that. NPR chose to dismiss an on-air employee who broke their rules. HBO decided not to air a documentary on Castro for reasons unspecified in your post. I'll respect the decisions of both HBO and NPR as entirely legal, and outside the bounds of free speech protection.

Can I be the one to do the thowin' out the winda?

Also, hear, hear on your words about that Palestine thingy where they said that stuff about the thing we did with the guy. They got almost as much chutzpah as we do!

"Commandante," Oliver Stone's laudatory documentary of jack-booted thug and focus of Hollywood adoration Fidel Castro has been removed from HBO's May schedule. At the Sundance Film Festival, Oliver Stone was asked, "What did you think of Fidel?" Stone answered, "I thought he was warm and bright. He's a very driven man, a very moral man. He's very concerned about his country. He's selfless in that way." Stone needs to be defenestrated.

Things are getting a mite serious around here, and I'm dead-set agin' that! So I bring you this. It's a parody of Gilbert & Sullivan's "I Am The Very Model of a Modern Major-General" with Osama lyrics. Wow! Can you believe it?! I sure can't!

Osama is the model of a modern major Terrorist
Who thinks his cause is holy and would seek to harm, nay, bury us.
His methods are abhorrent, and his scheming quite methodical
In fact, his thinking and his plans have been, well .. . Diabolical.

But in his scheme of hurt and pain, Osama did not calculate
That faith and love of Liberty will conquer all his misspent hate.
The USA and allies will not to this Creep capitulate
For Freedom is the concept upon which this nation's frame is based.

Yes, Freedom is the concept upon which this nation's frame is based
Freedom is the concept upon which nation's Fame is based.
Freedom is the concept upon which this nation's very frame is based.

. . . .
Osama is the model of a modern major Terrorist
Who sought to bring us chaos, and to choke the life from in our midst.
In short, he is deplorable, this "jihad" holy war-able
Will never make the world or Allah think that he's adorable.
Yes, yes. He is deplorable! His "jihad" holy war-able
Will never make the World or Allah think that he's adorable.

Adorable/ Holy War-Able. Don't you just love it??
No?

Oh. . . .

Life sucks, rain is just God peeing on me, and the sun will give me skin cancer.

Yet, this site, The Rock And Roll Hall of Douchebags, which I found via Ted Barlow, makes me feel one hundred percent better. Thanks, Ted!!

Visit the site, click through, read the captions, and marvel at all the douchebags!!

So many douchebags! Hope none of my old band pics are in there!

So I was listening to a brief story on NPR yesterday that identified a possible misinterpretation of Iraqi jubilance. It seems that looters in Iraq, as well as those who appear to be welcoming British and American troops, are giving a thumbs-up. According to NPR, however, that might mean "up your's" in Iraq, as opposed to the American positive conotation. I got to thinking. While growing up and beyond, my half-Lebanese mother would frequently tell me to "Stick it up your [my] ass!" when she was angry with me. She would also jerk her thumb in the air while telling me to stick it up my ass. I thought that my mother probably acquired this habit from her Lebanese-born aunt, who contributed significantly to my mother's upbringing. 

During a telephone conversation this evening, I asked my mother if her Lebanese-born aunt would indeed jerk her thumb in the air while stating angrily, "Hazut pi tizuk!" It translates from Arabic, directly into English, as "Up your ass!" My mother confirmed that a raised thumb gesture would accompany the verbal declaration. 

While Lebanon is a different country than Iraq, in so very many ways, it's quite possible that there are cultural consistencies throughout the Middle East that might well transcend political and (since my mother's aunt was a Maronite Christian) religious boundaries. It is thus possible that some of these looters, and people believed to be revelers, who are not kissing American troops or otherwise making it abundantly clear that they are receiving troops with a positive attitude, are in fact telling the troops, "Hazut pi Tizuk" with their thumb gesture. 
 

WEMU-FM host Terry Hughes was fired from Eastern Michigan Public Radio for repeatedly expressing his support for the War, President Bush and American soldiers. He also denigrated NPR news coverage, saying, "We know if you want a current assessment of what's going on, you're sure not listening to us... You'll be over at Fox TV where they're not bending the news. ... It ain't happening on NPR."

The station manager Art Timko said, "He was fired basically over philosophical differences," Timko said. "We have a policy that eliminates or restricts the expression of personal opinion on issues of controversy, and he didn't believe that applied to him."

Hughes plans to continue taping his vintage R&B and Soul program at home for syndication. "It wasn't my intention to mess with the station manager," he said. "It's only been my intent to do crazy cool radio in America."

The quote from the station manager seems to indicate that public radio has serious problems with traditional American values like free speech.

A good friend of mine from Boston reports that this Saturday's antiwar demonstration on Boston Common was sponsored by a coalition formed in direct opposition to the tapeworms in A.N.S.W.E.R. Good.

As the days pass, I am more and more solidly convinced that the invasion of Iraq was not a brilliant idea. Yet, I don't go to peace rallies, mainly because I haven't even the slightest iota of patience for giant puppet heads, freeing Mumia, die-ins, saving the tasty, tasty whales, overthrowing capitalism, or any of the rest of that filthy hippie shit. If, as it appears, a new vocabulary of protest is in the offing, I will rejoice as this may mean never hearing "kumbyah" ever again.

The New York Times has a pretty good write up of the competing forces in antiwar protests (thanks to Bootsy and Nat):

Hey! Look what I found on slashdot.org!

In A.D. 2003
War was beginning...

BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- A series of large explosions rocked Iraq's capital sending plumes of smoke and fire into the skies over Baghdad as the intense coalition air assault got underway.

Saddam: What happen?
Mechanic: Somebody set up us the bomb.
Operator: We get signal.
Saddam: What!
Operator: Main screen turn on.
Saddam: It's You!!
Bush: How are you gentlemen!!
Bush: All your oil are belong to us.
Bush: You are on the way to destruction.
Saddam: What you say!!
Bush: You have no chance to survive make your time.
Bush: Ha Ha Ha Ha ....
Saddam: Take off every 'Scud'!!
Operator: You know what you doing.
Saddam: Move 'Scud'.
Saddam: For great justice.

I'm surprised that Johno never reacted to the Eminem is like Pat Boone comment.

Operation Iraqi Freedom, brought to you by Snickers. Snickers satisfies you!

But I'm also the guy that thinks Brendan Fraser is cruelly underrated.

Blast From The Past! Encino Man!! The Mummy!!! Gods and Monsters!!!!

...It's all about:

• The Clash, Combat Rock and London Calling
• Elvis Costello, Armed Forces
• Talking Heads, Fear of Music

...and not at all about

• Toby Keith
• Sgt. Barry Sadler
• Lee Greenwood

Here's a Friday treat-- a very special portrait of the original Dirrty Bomb.

Skanky!!