perfidy

As Al Bundy said, it is good to hate the French. Cheese eating surrender monkeys. We can all have fun mocking the French. Every Bastille Day, I have a mournful drink in honor of all those who went to the guillotine to ensure French Liberty. 

France presents a problem for the United States. Despite being our nominal ally, they have obstructed us at every turn for at least the last six months. We should not be terribly surprised; the French live for being obstructionist. A classic example was France’s departure from NATO at the height of the cold war, only to return after the Soviet Union was safely on the dustbin of history. 

But the problem is not entirely with France. We were the ones who went to the UN, allowing them to entangle us in endless UN shenanigans. In the short term, though, these maneuverings will amount to little; we will eventually tell the UN to piss up a rope and invade Iraq. Saddam will get his long deserved appointment with justice, and the Iraqi people will dance in the streets of Baghdad once we liberate it. With a little luck and some hard work, the United States, Britain and Australia will create a halfway decent nation there with rule of law, a fair amount of freedom and a marked absence of oppression, murder, torture and rape. I think that we can reasonably expect that in ten years, Iraq will be on par politically and economically with 60s/70s South Korea, with the hope that in the not too distant future, it might follow the same path and become a real democracy. 

However, it is painfully clear that whatever France's reasons for their stubborn resistance, it has nothing to do with Iraq. The possibility of a free, prosperous and Saddam free Iraq does not move the French. The fact that they have effectively allied with a malignant thug, effects them not at all. Protestations that "War is Failure" from Chirac (however ironically appropriate coming from a French leader) are obviously disingenuous because at this very moment, French forces are fighting a bloody war in the Ivory Coast in West Africa, without UN sanction. 

It seems that there are several interlocking motives for recent French obnoxiousness. One, reaching for power in the EU. Two, fear and loathing at how strong the American hegemonic hyper-puissance has become. Three, internal French domestic issues. And finally, naked self interest. 

First the naked self interest. France's willingness to undermine UN sanctions that France itself had voted for goes back to the end of the first Cold War. France was the primary buyer of Iraqi oil in the oil for food program, France made millions selling arms to Iraq, and was shipping spare parts as recently as a couple weeks ago. France stands to make more billions if oil deals currently in place were ever acted on and sanctions lifted. 

As for the EU, France's desire to be the leader of a European superstate has long been commented on. For reasons unknown to mortal man, the Germans have gone along with this, loyally licking France's boots ever since the EU came into being. France's real opinions on the position of other nations in the nascent European federal state were on display when, after several East European leaders signed a statement in support of the U.S., President Chirac said that they had all "Missed a good opportunity to keep quiet." This is of course stupendously arrogant. Imagine the international reaction to an American President saying exactly the same thing, and adding that it "was not well brought up behavior." 

France, despite copious evidence that it is a partially industrialized, barely second-tier world power with almost no ability to project military power beyond its own borders and scarcely more power within its borders, still thinks that this is the Napoleonic age and that the world should tremble before France, and accede to her merest whim. France envisions its future as a counterweight to American power - more on that in a minute. France has been the driving force behind the evolution of the European Common Market of the 60s into the European Union of today. At every stage, the French have pushed to have ever more power over European citizens concentrated in a group of unelected bureaucrats in Brussels. 

It is worth noting that whenever one of these proposals has come to a vote, in any nation, it has failed. The entire EU project is undemocratic, imposed by fiat from above. France feels that it will benefit from this situation, that the power of all the other nations in Europe can be harnessed to the pursuit of French aims. And since the Americans had conveniently neutered the Germans, the only thing in the way was the British. France has used the recent international hooforah as a pretext to try to strengthen its position winthin the EU. This may have backfired, as the southern and eastern tiers of Europe are less and less willing to follow the French lead. And the British, well, they have never liked following the French. Which leaves the French in charge of a coalition consisting of themselves, Germany and Belgium. The "Unilateral" U.S. has the support of six times as many European nations as France. 

Along with the French desire to control the EU, the French also oppose the U.S. on more general terms. As the sole remaining superpower, the U.S. at this moment is in a position of absolutely unparalleled strength in relation to the rest of the world - more so even than in the immediate aftermath of WWII. Without sounding too jingoistic, we could defeat all of the navies of the world faster than they could assemble. We, and we alone, can project overwhelming military power anywhere on the globe. And we can do this without breaking the bank - we are spending half (as a percentage of GDP) on defense as we were during the worst years of the Cold War. The American economy, despite a recent mild downturn, is still outperforming every other economy. Japan and Europe are in the doldrums, and have been for over a decade. American innovation, dynamism and cultural ubiquity scare the French. 

When I was in college for the second time, a foreign exchange student from France was a friend of mine. He had asked me to take him into town so that he could purchase a car. He had expressed a clear need for a large, American car with a V8 engine. While we were waiting for the appointed time, he began complaining about "American Cultural Hegemony." This was too much for me, as I was sitting there watching someone smoking Marlboros, wearing Levis, listening to rock music, and about to go buy a big American V8 car. "Dude, no one held a gun to your head! You bought in of your own free will!" But he was exercised over Euro Disney and McDonalds in the City of Lights. People buy it because they like it. 

We offend them. Just by existing. By being so simplisme yet so perversely successful and powerful. France is attempting to build a coalition to form a counterweight to American power. Germany, China and Russia have signed on, along with every tinpot dictator or islamofascist theocracy who fears that they're next on our list. But how far will this get them? Three vetoes on the on the UN security council and not a lot more. It will be decades before Russia is a functioning nation again, they are nothing even close to a world power. They have moved into the third world. China is struggling to leave the third world, but with half a billion desperately poor, barely literate peasants moving into the cities at an ever growing rate, it may be likelier that China collapses than it becomes a true world power. And Germany is subject to the same stultifying effects of EU overregulation as France. This is not a coalition of weasels, it's an ad hoc alliance of failed states masquerading as world powers. 

Finally, you have internal French domestic politics. The large suburbs of unassimilated and radicalized Islamic youth circling every French city must weigh heavily on the French subconscious, though I think they prefer not to think about openly. Not upsetting this large minority must be a factor in French decision making. Also, like Schroeder, Chirac has parlayed populist anti-Americanism into electoral success. 

It has annoyed me that the media has continually harped on the fact that America's unilateralism has damaged our relations with our allies. But the fact is, the consequences of French intransigence and pride will hit them a lot harder when they realize that they've pissed off not merely an American administration, but a large fraction of the American people. My step grandfather fought in WWII and he still hasn't forgiven the Japanese. The American public is often forgetful, but by no means always. They have damaged their relations with us.

Gentlemen,

Hmmm. Here's the thing. While I understand the visceral reaction of the people who distanced themselves from Representative Moran, referring to his remarks as "indefensible," and offensive, there are other things to consider. Granted, his remarks are offensive to people, that is undeniable.

Has it occurred to anyone, however, that he's just plain wrong? The reaction to Moran's remarks are further evidence that many Americans no longer give a damn what somebody says, and whether it is accurate or inaccurate, but only how they say it.

Plus, Moran thinks he's right, and he's probably going to continue to think he's right. We cannot stop people from thinking unpleasant things just by preventing them from saying it, or censuring them when saying it. Maybe, instead of yelling at people and calling them offensive, it's more constructive to just say, "No, you're wrong, and here's why." Just a thought.

Mike

China is planning to create a space station and start mining the moon. Meanwhile, here in America, we do diddly.

We could have had a real spaceship seven years ago, but instead we built a lot of nothing.

I now hear that 71% of the American public now wants the war to begin, quickly. The waiting really is the wearing part, though I think that early next week we may see the beginning of Gulf War II. My current take is that, barring major diplomatic breakthroughs with the undecided members of the security council, we will announce that we aren't seeking a vote because France would have vetoed it anyway, and then attack on the 18th or 19th. This will leave the blame for castrating the UN with France. I am looking forward to talking with (arguing with) my friends from Ohio when they arrive late this evening. While I have not discussed the war with them in any real detail (I don't get back home very often anymore) I hope that the "No war for oil/Bush is a fascist" type of antiwar argument has not seduced them. I don't think it has, though I am very, very curious to hear what they think about the ANSWER crowd that has been organizing these protests (unrepentant Stalinists) or the talk of plans for actively interfering with preparations for war. Or how they justify their opposition to the United States when the U.S. is going up against such a deranged mongoloid fuckw*t as Saddam. Or what relevance French opinions have on American security interests in the Persian Gulf region. 

Eminem is like Pat Boone.

What formal education I have had has largely been in Political Science and in Computer Science. One discipline is more or less engineering, the other is the red-headed stepson of the humanities. History, English, Philosophy, Sociology and Anthropology tend very strongly to the left. At my college (and Johno's) the only conservative faculty in the humanities were the two Political Science professors. The history department had two communists, and a liberal. 

Also, I read a lot of science fiction. 

So, I tend to look at history in a very judgmental way. (Many people now think that being judgmental and discriminating are bad things. But ask yourself: how far you would get in a day without deciding between things, or deciding that something was bad?) When I read history, I always think to myself, "Well they were right about that. That was clearly wrong. If they had done this thing, they would have been better off." This is why I like alternate history novels. 

I also take the same approach to current events. I look at what people are doing, and what effect it is having on them or others, and then judge. For example, I have decided that the Palestinians are a messed up people, who are completely wrong on just about every issue – and not just their strained relationship with their neighbors to the west. Someone once quipped that they have never missed an opportunity to miss an opportunity. Now, if someone were to offer me evidence that my judgment was incorrect, I would certainly change it. In the case of the Palestinians, I think this is unlikely. And that doesn't mean that I will never criticize Israel. 

You might say that this is likely evidence that I am a white, not very crypto, phallocentric oppressor of subaltern guano farmers. And you'd be right. The only thing that I hate more than Peruvian Guano Farmers is Dirty Hippies. And Norwegians.

...wet dog?

Here's a Friday treat-- a very special portrait of the original Dirrty Bomb.

Skanky!!
 

Today, right now, it's all about Bun E. Carlos. Go, Bun E., go!

Now that it's light out and the animal side of me is safely asleep until the next waning gibbous moon, I reread your post below and realize that you're just giving aid/comfort to your friends, who are not really the enemy! Good on me for being quick on the uptake.

Nevertheless, I stand by what I wrote. I have been talking to a lot of good people who neither think that the President is stupid nor think he stole the election, and who still don't agree with the decision to go into Iraq. That's not to claim that "if some people believe it, it must be true", or otherwise I would find myself defending pet psychics and supply-side economists, and that's just crazy talk. But, if a large number of reasonable, intelligent people with whom I interact, and not just in the Berklee East in which I live, do not feel persuaded by the arguments and evidence thus far presented, I feel compelled to investigate that.

I don't know. Maybe it's just my training as a "cultural historian." For years I have successfully fought the peer pressure to see every conflict as a struggle for hegemony, and to always favor the "subaltern" point of view against the erectile opression of the cryptophallocentric majority. (I studied "subaltern history" once. All it taught me was that Peruvian guano exports were the only way in which highland indigenous populations were tied to the colonial government of Peru. Guano. In Peru. Guano!)

But, in the interest of being fair, and owing to the fact that my hawk side has grown more feeble in the last two weeks, I want to hear what the hoopla is all about, from the quiet ones in the back who are being drowned out by the earnest mouth-breathers from the Popular People's Front of Interesting Facial Hair and the International Coalition For The Admiration Of Che's Sexy, Sexy Portrait.

I repeat: Spring is when the short shorts come out.

C'mon, spring! C'mon, spring! Three inches of snow... what the?

C'mon, spring!

Don't blow a gasket, chimpy. Waving a couple signs in the general direction of Congress is no more giving aid and comfort to the enemy than my wiping my ass is destroying the rain forests. I'm exactly as disgusted as you are at the brain-deprived, pablum-puking flower children who claim that "War Never Solved Anything" or "Bush=Nazi" or allow those DMF's in A.N.S.W.E.R. to dominate the antiwar discussion. But, dissent is part of life in the USA, and, the Stalinists aside, a lot of good people are against the war. Don't always understand the arguments, but there they are.

On partial birth abortion

The reason I oppose a ban on "Partial Birth Abortion" is because it, unlike "regular" abortion, cannot be used as a contraceptive measure, but is instead performed when, and only when, those extremely rare, extremely dire, circumstances occur that both baby and mother will die otherwise. This isn't about when the condom breaks-- it is instead the last of the last of the last resorts-- and outlawing it is an empty gesture, enacted only because the larger issue of abortion is still too hotly contested.

Soon to come: my thoughts on life during wartime, and also songs about buildings and food.

Also soon to come: happier things about puppies, balloons, and how awesome Spring is when the short shorts come out.