perfidy

God knows, with my luck, I'd end up with degenerate mouth-breathing hellspawn like this one:

"Kelley Marie Ferguson never wanted to take a stupid cruise. A week at sea with her parents? Away from her boyfriend? How boring. As soon as the ship set sail, she felt trapped and miserable.

Then she had an idea.

Ship stewards found the poorly worded notes in two bathrooms. One threatened to "kill all Americanos abord" if the ocean liner made its scheduled stop in Hawaii. "Give this warning to El Capt ion to save all lives," another said. "Do take this serious he sent me from far away land for mission I will complete if port on American soil."

It was only a prank. But it has become another parable of life in a time of terrorist fear."

Rather than return to land, Kelley's notes created a panic and resulted in a $300,000, 100-person total search of the ship. All crew and guests were interrogated at length.

Unsurprisingly, the 20-year-old is now in prison. The best part? Tired of ongoing antics like this one, mom refused to post bail (haw)!

"She promises not to do it again -- but yeah, right," her mother, Debra Ferguson, a nurse, told the Los Angeles Times earlier this month. She said the family felt terrible that so many vacationers on board the cruise ship had been frightened and delayed. She also called her daughter a "brat."

And of course, there's more..."Ferguson had another surprise for them when she pleaded guilty. She said she was pregnant."

That's right. NEVER having kids.