perfidy

When I first saw the headline, my initial thought was "Farts - is there anything they can't do?", but it turns out that the story's far more involved than that.

I'm apparently the last to hear about this miscarriage of justice, on Dec 6th, but I pass it along, nonetheless:

"Flatulence Forces Plane to Land"

This story merits an entry partially to preserve the hysterical record, but primarily so that I can prove to my wife that the story she heard in the Cincinnati airport on Christmas day was in fact true. Many planes, particularly those that are full, smell to some degree or another like ass, and it's no real mystery why. Bless this poor woman for trying at least to get the plane to smell like sulphuric ass.

As for additional, enlightening commentary, I've got nothin', so I'll include this, from Kent Ward of the Bangor Daily News:

Reader and columnist reaction to a third story in this newspaper within the past couple of weeks likely varied widely. Datelined Nashville, the article was headlined "Woman lights match on plane to cover gas.''

"An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing Monday morning after a passenger lit a match to disguise the scent of flatulence,'' the story reported, an attention-grabbing paragraph if ever I've read one. The FBI was called in, the plane was searched, passengers interviewed, baggage screened. The whole nine yards. Raise your hand if it occurred to you, as it did to me, to speculate that the entire sorry episode may have been put in motion when the woman said to the guy seated next to her, "Pull my finger.''

(text copied here, just in case of link rot)

Flatulence Forces Plane to Land

Plane Forced to Land After Passenger Passes Gas, Lights Match to Cover Scent
The Associated Press

NASHVILLE, Tenn. - An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing Monday morning after a passenger lit a match to disguise the scent of flatulence, authorities said.

The Dallas-bound flight was diverted to Nashville after several passengers reported smelling burning sulfur from the matches, said Lynne Lowrance, spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority. All 99 passengers and five crew members were taken off and screened while the plane was searched and luggage was screened.

The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal a "body odor," Lowrance said. She had an unspecified medical condition, authorities said.

"It's humorous in a way but you feel sorry for the individual, as well," she said. "It's unusual that someone would go to those measures to cover it up."

The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the plane. The woman, who was not identified, was not charged in the incident.

Copyright 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

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