perfidy

I took Johno's test:

Official Survivor
Congratulations! You scored 75%!

Whether through ferocity or quickness, you made it out. You made the right choice most of the time, but you probably screwed up somewhere. Nobody's perfect, at least you're alive.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on survivalpoints

Link: The Zombie Scenario Survivor Test written by ci8db4uok on Ok Cupid

My raw score was 75, compared to Johno's 73. Those two extra points made a big difference on the curve, I guess. Or, my zombie killing skills are just that obvious.

The funny thing is that I actually think about this stuff. Whenever I watch a zombie movie, or a horror movie, or even most action adventure flicks, it triggers a long process where I internally analyze the situation and what I would do. The more interesting the plot, the longer it takes. In my mental file cabinets, I have contingency plans for zombies, vampires, werewolves, terrorist attacks, being thrown back in time (several ways, and to different time periods), burglars, nuclear war, technology no longer working (thanks to a couple sf novels), everyone disappearing, pods taking over people's brains, soviet invasions, alien invasions (3), and for capturing a UFO should I be abducted.

Don't tell my wife, but I often buy things for my general purpose emergency kit based on the above scenarios. I justify the purchases for other reasons, but I know what they're for.

Wife: "Why do you need a shotgun?"
Me: "For the zombies."
Wife: "Why do you need four hundred rounds of ammunition?"
Me: "When the zombies come, there'll be lots of them."

You can see why that conversation is untenable. It went more like this:

Wife: "Why do you need a shotgun?"
Me: "For home defense, and I like shooting."
Wife: "Why do you need four hundred rounds of ammunition?"
Me: "It was on sale."

I convinced her to let me buy a couple cases of MREs on the argument that FEMA recommends that every family should have a disaster preparedness kit. Only really, it's a zombie emergency survival kit. Camping is a fun thing to do on the weekend. But camping gear always is handy in Zombie situations, too.

And I never travel without my aluminum baseball bat.

And no, I'm not crazy. I just have a finely developed sense of imagination and wonder. And don't tell my wife. It will make further additions to the survival kit more difficult.