This isn't what George Clinton meant by "tear the roof off"
Cincinnatti resident and Somalia native Nuradin Abdi has been nabbed while trying to lay down some P-Funk, uncut funk, The Bomb, namely trying to tear the roof off a mall in the Columbus, Ohio area.
A resident of the hometown of prime funkateer and latter-day crackhead George Clinton, Suspected terrorist Abdi appears to be an adherent of a sect whose members are the greatest threat to peace and mass funkatization facing the world today. Led by noted killjoys such as Osama bin Ladin and known to the Clone Funk Army as followers of the Heresy of a Groove World Order, Abdi and his brothers-in-arms break with the Funkadelphian orthodoxy of One Nation Under A Groove, misinterpreting that message of Hardcore Jollies to mean One World under ONE Groove, a decidedy unfunky situation where noses grow, motor booty goes unshaken, and the whole world must bend to the will of the cobwebbed minds and tightly wound spines of the Groove World Order.
The GWO has done a number on such formerly funky places as Afghanistan, Syria, Ethiopia, and Sudan, laid low the twin towers of the Wizard of Finance, and have even made inroads in Egypt, where the secrets of Clone Funk lie hidden beneath the pyramids until such time as humanity is ready to have the cobwebs blown out its collective mind by that most ancient of wisdoms. Their music must be stopped before the funk is fully faked and we all march as one to the pi-sided rhythm of the Groove World Order's dead-minded dance.
It is a shame that in the war to keep the Flashlight lit and the Aquaboogie wet, we must partner with such unfunky freaks as John Ashcroft, but for the time being he is doing funk's work and funk must recognize that.
Stank you very much, John Ashcroft, for keeping Ohio funky.
on
| § 5
§ 5 Comments
[ You're too late, comments are closed ]
Uh, I'm still processing the
Uh, I'm still processing the stream of consciousness here, but I think it's coherent, at a really high level.
No word on which mall, unfortunately. I hear that the City Center mall has been taken over by gang-bangers, and such might not have been as much of a loss.
My brother works for Ohio
My brother works for Ohio State. I'll look into it.
Dear Mr. Abdi,
Dear Mr. Abdi,
I do believe you have misunderstood the common American idiom, "I want to drop a bomb on you." The concept in no way relates to the use of explosives on the shopping public. Please refer to Trouble Funk's "Drop the Bomb" or the Gap Band's "Drop the Bomb on Me" for additional meaning.
Dr. Clinton
Syria is most emphatically
Syria is most emphatically NOT an Islamist.It should not be dumped in the same bin with OBL, Taliban, Sudan, Iran, Saudi Arabia or other Islamist states, although it does maintain decent relations with Iran and Saudi A for stategic reasons.
WoAD:
WoAD:
I'm thinking that the residents of Lebanon, particularly the non-Muslims, might disagree with your emphatic statement. However, they would be likely to accept that in terms of degree, Syria is less Islamist than many of its neighbors.
The reason for disagreement? If the actions of the Syrians are indistinguishable from those of the radical Islamists, why does it matter if they're lumped in with the Islamists, when the only thing the West cares about is the actions of Islamists.
The West, as a whole, cares not about their religion, but instead about their flouting of civil norms.