I am offended
As if the first effort didn't give me a full-body papercut and throw me in a deep pit of lemon juice, a group of soulless miscreants has decided that making a sequel would be a fantastic idea.
What movie, you ask? Why, it's Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation. From the Movie Web:
The Story: A small group of troopers who find themselves taking refuge in an abandoned outpost as they attempt to fight against the encroaching arachnids-not realizing that a much graver danger is actually infiltrating their unit.
But that doesn't begin to describe the horror. Notice this little tidbit:
Release Date: June 1st, 2004 (Straight To Video)
Starring a group of people you've never heard of, and directed by a special effects expert, you know this is going to be great, character-focused drama. Your hopes will be confirmed when you realize that the genius screenwriter from the first Starship Troopers has returned!
From some movie blog, guy goes to panel to listen to discussion of the abomination, I mean, movie:
Sammon kicked things off with a simple slide-show, and an outline of the movie's basic plot. The first analogy he came up with was that if Starship Troopers had been like World War II (with Gestapo like Psi-officers and a fascist, Aryan-friendly government) then ST2 is like the Korean War. The human-bug conflict has been raging for five years as the flick opens, and humanity is losing the battle - although through all-pervasive, pro-war propaganda, the majority of humanity doesn't know that.
Ross, sounds like an alegory for what's happening right now, doesn't it?
Then screenwriter Ed Neumeier shows up. I have never met the man, but I am certain that he is a sleazy, no-talent assclown. Our virgil in this hell describes the scene:
The other big question asked by Heinlein fans who still feel cheated is about power armour, and whether it'll appear in ST2. It was fairly obvious to me given the budget that it wouldn't, but Ed Neumeier confirmed that was the case... Inexplicably, Ed Neumeier blames himself for the lack of power armour in the first film, saying that it ultimately came down to a 'believable bugs or power armour' argument, and the bugs won. As he pointed out "Some people hate me for that movie," referring to some of the more extreme Heinlein fans out there (some of whom were present in the audience).
Really, why might that be? Aside from the fact that you based your first screenplay on a glance at the book cover and a cursory reading of the publisher's blurb? Jackass.
Fans of the original's sarcastic take on war propaganda will be pleased to know it's going to return for the second flick also, and that Ed Neumeier wouldn't have it any other way.
You mean someone actually was a fan of that clumsy, overreaching satire of something that wasn't even in the book? Great, we need more! Jackass.
I remember that HBO had a "Making of" special before the release of the first nightmare. In it, Veorhoven (or however you spell his retarded Dutch name) and Neumeier went on and on that their movie was an homage to the dean of sf writers. I thought ST1 was bad. It is bad. But now this collection of human trash has to go and make another movie even further removed from the original novel.
I need to go brush my teeth.
on
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§ 12 Comments
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B,
B,
Are you familiar with Steve Jackson Games and the OGRE universe?
Plenty of kick-ass armored infantrymen. And armored everything, in fact, because in the future all munitions are nucular.
OGREs are sentient computerized fighting machines, devoid of human crews, and about the size of your elementary school.
Fantastic! I've been in need
Fantastic! I've been in need of a new emetic.
GL - yeah, I played that
GL - yeah, I played that (along with hundreds of other games) back in my days as a full time geek. SJG had great stuff - the illuminati card game and car wars were plenty fun.
B,
B,
Wait...I feel a fit of nostalgia coming on... must resist... m u s t r e s i s t... feeling need to read "Autoduel Quarterly"... need "Truck Stop" sequel...
Hey... anybody up for a game
Hey... anybody up for a game of Paranoia, perhaps? Or maybe old-skool D&D 1st edition?
Personally I'm not a big fan of SJ Games in general because GURPS kind of sucked. Car Wars and Illuminati, however, are immortal contributions to the field.
J,
J,
I didn't give GURPS a fair shake because it looked lame. If it actually WAS lame, then I guess I didn't miss anything.
OGRE/GEV/Shockwave/Battlesuit and Car Wars, and their respective universes, really put a hook in me when I was a youger, friendlier geek. I may even buy a wall poster/blueprint advertised at the SJ website. Cuz THAT's the kind of goofy bastard I am.
D&D 1st edition... that would make me about...9 years old? 10? I remember when my friend got the "new" edition, which I believe was 1983. *sigh*
Paranoia was one of the, if
Paranoia was one of the, if not the best rpg from the golden age. "Send in the clones!" "The computer is your friend!"
Aside from that, the only rpg I would play at my advanced age is old school D&D. I'd run a campaign set in authentic medieval Europe, with authentic mythical beasties, saracens, and wizards. No beholders, drow or silly hobbits. No gelatinous cubes either.
Gurps as a game system sucked, but the world books were really cool. They were very useful for adding depth to campaigns run in other game systems.
Other fun - Cthulhu, the original version of Traveller , Twilight 2000 and Traveller 2300. GDW's game systems were relatively weak, but their game universes were excellent. Actually, I've never really run across a game system I was completely satisfied with. Maybe I should write a post about that. That'll bring in the readers.
ROFLMAO Man, this is
ROFLMAO Man, this is bringing back memories. Oh wait, I still have boxes full of this stuff, including the boxed edition of Paranoia.
Ted, did you have the cross
Ted, did you have the cross-over modules that allowed you to bring characters from other campaign/game systems into Paranoia?
I played a paranoia campaign based on the cult sf movie Dark Star once. I have rarely had so much fun.
I'll have to go digging a
I'll have to go digging a little. IIRC, I only had the original set with the included scenario about the giant cockroaches that quoted Proust.
Jeez, I can't believe I remember that...
Sheesh B, "Dark Star"?! And
Sheesh B, "Dark Star"?! And pointing out that you know the difference between "Traveller" and "Traveller:2300"...
This day is getting weirder and weirder ...
Despite the apparent
Despite the apparent similarity, they really have little to do with each other. My major problem with 2300 was the fact that the French were the sole wuperpower. Not impossible - it is 300 years from now - but rather unlikely.
The aliens in 2300 were better than in old school traveler. The first group were rather carboard cut out, or stolen directly from sf novels. The exception was the hivers, but then they showed up in 2300 as the pentapods. More or less.
Dark Star is the greatest movie ever made for less than a $100 grand.