perfidy

A Dutch politician is in line to become the EU's first "Mr. Terrorism." That's all to the good, and I'm glad the Euroweenies are at least pretending to take terrorism seriously.

Why do I say "Pretending?" Because, dude, "Mr. Terrorism" makes you sound like a pussy even before you get out the gate. Terror Czar at least brings up images of Ivan the terrible, pyramids of skulls, and the like. Before you remember that the man occupying that office is a pasty middle aged white guy in a suit.

But Mr. Terrorism... Hmmn, what does that bring to mind? A skinny guy in a cardigan asking the children if they want to go to the land of make believe. Which, come to think of it, is a reasonably accurate summation of the EU's policy on terrorism so far.

We need a Terror Motherfucker. Someone who will speak to the terrorists like Samuel L. Jackson in full on, scare the white folk mode. Someone who, by his very presence in the world will strike fear into the hearts of terrorists. Someone who is authorized to personally put a cap in the ass of any terrorist brought before his dread presence. Someone who is completely unpredictable and dangerously volatile. Someone who has all the powers of hell at his command, or at least the United States Marines. Someone to play bad cop to Bush's bad cop. Someone who will make the worst European nightmares of American "cowboys" seem like Mr. Rogers.

That's what we need.