perfidy

On occasion, our troops may pause to wonder, "Who were those guys we just killed?" To help in that query, I'm starting a new feature where my crack research staff find all the important information you need to know about America's enemies. Our first subject: the Iraqi Republican Guard

FUN FACTS ABOUT THE IRAQI REPUBLICAN GUARD:

* The Republican Guard are so well trained, that, in a one-on-one fight with U.S. ground troops, they can last into the tens of seconds.

* The Republican Guard is supported by tanks and other hardware that, according to U.S. military experts, are fun to blow up.

* The Republican Guard are dangerous if encountered by civilians. If you see a Republican Guard, do not run; this only provokes him. Instead, stand your ground and wave your arms in the air while yelling to scare him away.

* In a fight between the Republican Guard and Aquaman, the Republican Guard would win... unless Aquaman could somehow trick them into following him into the sea.

* The Republican Guard's only natural predator is the camel. It will spit in the eyes of a Republican Guard to blind him and then swallow him whole. The shark would be another natural predator… if only Aquaman were somehow able to trick the Republican Guard into following him into the sea.

* Though many Republican Guards dress up in burkas in the privacy of their own tents, that doesn't make them gay.

* The Republican Guard were a replacement for the less successful Iraqi Democrat Guard, who would try to whine and tax their enemies into submission. Eventually Saddam became too annoyed with them and had them executed.

From IMAO