Damn those activist bartenders

By way of the Claremont Institute blog and someone I can't remember, we find Judge Bork on Original Intent and the Martini:

Martini's Founding Fathers: Original Intent Debatable

Eric Felten's essay on the dry martini is itself near-perfect ("Don't Forget the Vermouth," Leisure & Arts, Pursuits, Dec. 10). His allusion to constitutional jurisprudence is faulty, however, since neither in law nor martinis can we know the subjective "original intent" of the Founding Fathers. As to martinis, the intent may have been to ease man's passage through this vale of tears or, less admirably, to employ the tactic of "candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker."

What counts in mixology is the "original understanding" of the martini's essence by those who first consumed it. The essence remains unaltered but allows proportions to evolve as circumstances change. Mr. Felten's "near-perfect martini" is the same in principle as the "original-understanding martini" and therefore its legitimate descendant. Such latter-day travesties as the chocolate martini and the raspberry martini, on the other hand, are the work of activist bartenders.

Mr. Felten lapses into heresy only once. He prefers the olive to the lemon peel because the former is a "snack." Dropping a snack into a classic drink is like garnishing filet mignon with ketchup. The correct response when offered an olive is, "When I want a salad, I'll ask for it."

-Robert H. Bork
The Hudson Institute
Washington

I couldn't agree more.

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 2

§ 2 Comments

1

Fun article. Nice to see Bork on the lighter side.

Regrettably, as with so much else, Robert Bork is wrong, wrong wrong. Though lighthearted, I have no truck with his thesis in practice.

The "proper" garnish for a martini is a lime peel (tastes nicer), and anyway when it comes to libations all ideas of proper are subordinate to one's own hedonistic interest. If you want a choco-martini, have at it! (Just don't expect me to drink it.) If you want a 5:1 vodka martini with pickle juice and hot sauce garnished with three olives, (my personal invention, the "filthy"), go nuts!

Mixological proscriptivists merely serve to make everyone else uptight. Shut up, relax, and have a drink, already!

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