The Fat Twin is Getting Married

Mapgirl Mapgirl

Oops. Did I say that out loud?

I'm sorry, but I always thought of Jenna Bush as the fat twin, not the blond twin. I don't know why, but I've only been able to remember how to tell the twins apart by their relative chunkiness to one another rather than by hair color. Of course, one day I noticed that one is weaselly-faced like her father and the other one has that weird wicked stepmother face where she's seemingly friendly, but going to slit your throat. Oh. I guess I haven't told you guys that white people kind of scare me sometimes because they look like reptiles. (I must have watched V on tv too much as a kid.) Mrs. Shrub distinctly lacks an upper lip which is what makes me think that about her. But I digress.

At any rate, the fat one is getting married to the scion of a prominent Virginia Republican family. Whoopdeedoo. Not sure why CNN is posting it as breaking news, but I do like the stupid haircut that boy has at a black tie affair. It's awful and Karl Rove should have done something about it. I am sure SOMEONE at the White House could point that boy to a decent hairdresser of Pennsylvania Avenue. Shit, I know a few people who can do a bang up fade with a pair of clippers for free. As always, I'm glad to oblige with a weed wacker. As I once told another fat twin, "Moppy hair only looked good on the Beatles, now get a haircut."

Posted by Mapgirl Mapgirl on   |   § 12

§ 12 Comments

1

White people look like reptiles? Really?

I can get that we all look alike...but it never occurred to me that we all look alike because we all look like the aliens from "V".

GeekLethal GeekLethal

2

GL - Some caucasian ppl lack a full upper lip. Think Douglas Llewellyn of The People's Court.

Of course that unblinking guy in my math class in high school didn't help dislodge that notion. He had no upper lip, was from a political family and weird tan lines on his face from his ski goggles.

Blinking is so very mammalian.

Mapgirl Mapgirl

3

Maps,
Set your Wayback Machine for 1982 and throw the word "caucasian" in it. It's "European-American", thank you. I never even met anyone from the Caucuses.

Although it might be fun to play more hyphenated American games...Buckethead is really more of a Mesomorphic-American; Patton a Lucre-American; Maps a Macheted-American...

GeekLethal GeekLethal

4

I myself prefer the term "White Master"

Did I say that out loud?

Personally, I find the very idea of hyphenated-Americans nauseating.

But if we're playing games, I could be an Appalachian-American, a Finnish-American, a Techno-American, an iPhone-American, an American of Size, even a Grumpy-American activist.

Buckethead Buckethead

5

"Honky."
"Cracker."
"White Devil."

Bucks - remember that t-shirt you got me a while back, the one that I can't wear out of the house?

I think I need to make all teh Ministers "White Devil" t-shirts, including Maps.

Johno Johno

8

Heh. Y'know I still wear that shirt. It's my favored "around the house" shirt. I will however wear it outside to, say, get the paper or put out the trash. Thusly, my whole neighborhood knows that "I Love Fags."

So to speak.

Johno Johno

9

Okay, now using a different browser that might allow me to complete the comment.

Safari is pretty is all get out, but it's about as flaky as Paris Hilton on payday.

I was thinking on doing some new shirts, featuring the new perfidy iconography. Cafepress allows both black and white shirts, and I thought I'd do one of each, both suitable for the inclusion of slogans, taglines, or, say, "White Devil."

Maybe I'll do that this afternoon whilst waiting on Patton to coordinate moving test.perfidy to a different of Patton's servers.

Buckethead Buckethead

11

Dang, this used to be one really hard to read entry. Did someone type it with their elbows, or do we have a problem at the server?

As to J's t-shirt, it had been described to me as saying "I <heart> Fags".

Has Missus Johno forgiven you yet, B?

Patton Patton

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