A word on marriage

It's a dweam, wiffin a dweam.

Y'know? I keep hearing from cultural conservatives about how marriage is a sacred institution representing the eternal love between man and woman for the purposes of increase of the species, and how that will be ruined-- ruined! for everyone if humasexashuls get a piece of the action. Marriage is the final bulwark of goodness, decency, and God-fearing American patriotism against the forces of Mammon, Godlessness, dissipation, and sin.

Oh rilly? So, letting gays marry (or unite civilly) would drag the good name of matrimony through the pigpen?

I think that's been taken care of just fine already. Consider the following:

  • Heterosexuals Rick Rockwell and Darva Conger. Married via game show.
  • Noted heterosexual Pam Anderson and pimp supreme Kid Rock. She has Hepatitis C and will die someday from it. No kids if you have hepatitis! (But what beautiful kids she could have had!)
  • Anna Nicole Smith and that geezer she married for his money. A sacred blessed union conceived in true love indeed.
  • Confirmed weirdo Michael Jackson and his erstwhile beard, Lisa Marie Presley. You better hope that wasn't for the sake of reproducing.
  • The city of Las Vegas.

    The hilarity of the disconnect between the conservative line and actual reality has been kicking around my head for a day or so, but this morning I came across a cartoon thingy that put all my words and stuff into easy-to-digest pictures.

    image

    Cartoon courtesy Brdgt at Fear of a Female Planet.

    [wik] Lest my post above be construed as taking Pamela Anderson to task for having the nerve to come down with Hepatitis C, let me clarify. I included the Pam/Kid Rock marriage in the list above not only because Pam is probably the #1 Fantasy Cheat among married men, which makes her a living nexus for all sort of Immoral Intent And Onanism but because by the lights of certain commentators a marriage without children is immoral. Pam, having a fatal and blood-transmissible disease, really oughtn't have kids. QED.

    Of course, by those same lights marriages between senior citizens are also immoral since they're childless. For that matter, Brdgt herself is the very pinnacle of immorality since she is married (to a man, even!), yet plans never, ever to have children. Fie! Fie!

    Not that I really need to pile on the flimsiest arguments of the conservative right, but it's so much ding-dang fun!

    [alsø wik] And let's not forget serial marrier/murderer Henry VIII, who had the hots for Anne Boleyn soooo bad that he hijacked the spiritual leadership of Britain for himself for the express and single purpose of annulling his marriage to the no-longer-young-'n'-supple Catherine of Aragon. And then of course he had Anne killed.

  • Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 5

    § 5 Comments

    1

    The line of bull that this weakens the institution of marriage is beyond ridiculous. If anything this ruling strengthens the institution of marriage because it states that fertility and religosity are not prerequisites.

    2

    My college sweetheart, and the reason I moved to DC, is one of the plaintiffs in the successful suit in Massachusetts. While our parting, so many years ago, is still painful to me, I am glad that she is now living the life she wants to. She has two beautiful children, and she has made an indelible mark in the progress of gay--no human--marriage. The regret of our parting is far outweighed by my happiness for her and the positive difference she's made in the world.

    Please see this page about Heidi at
    [url=http://www.glad.org/marriage/Gina&Heidi.shtml]http://www.glad.org/marri…]

    4

    Not that it changes your point, but FYI Pamela Anderson had two kids by Tommy Lee. I agree she shouldn't have any more, but I'd have felt that way regardless of her health. :-)

    5

    Charles, that's true-- I had COMPLETELY forgotten about that. I can't wait to see how the Anderson-Lees turn out, either.

    I wonder if it's more cruel to wish upon them their parents' talent, or their brains?

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