When the Abyss looks into her eyes, it sees itself staring back

After a spate of thinkful posts on policy and world events, the tone has drifted a little away from our standard fair of dick jokes, zombies and giant fighting robots. To rectify that, a selection of "Yo Mama" jokes:

  • Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.
  • Yo momma so ugly, she was a guard for Castle Greyskull.
  • Yo momma so ugly, she looks like she got hit with a bag of "What the fuck?!?!"
  • Yo momma so ugly, she looks like she's been in a dryer filled with rocks.
  • Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
  • Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make monster cookies.
  • Yo momma so ugly your grandma had to be drunk to breast feed her
  • Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.
  • Yo momma so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
  • Yo momma so ugly, when two guys broke into her apartment, she yelled "rape" and they yelled "NO!"
  • Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
  • Yo momma so ugly The NHL banned her for life
  • Yo momma so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.
  • Yo momma so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory.
  • Yo momma so ugly, it looks like she's been bobbing for french fries.
  • Yo momma so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her.
  • Yo momma so ugly, people at the circus pay money not to see her.
  • Yo momma so ugly, she hurt my feelings.
  • Yo momma so ugly, her pillow cries at night.
  • Yo momma so ugly, they rub tree branches on her face to make ugly sticks.
  • Yo momma so ugly, she tied a pork chop around her neck and the dog still wouldn't play with her.
  • Yo momma so ugly, she makes blind children cry.
  • Yo momma so ugly, she can look up a camel's butt and scare the hump off of it.
  • Yo momma so ugly, it looks like she ran the 100 yard dash in a 90 yard gym.
  • Yo momma so ugly, when she cries, tears run down the back of her neck.
  • Yo momma so ugly, she could scare Cujo off a meat truck.
  • Yo momma so ugly, it looks like she got hit with a hot sack of nickels.
  • Yo momma so ugly, when she masturbates she gets arrested for cruelty to animals.
  • Yo momma so ugly, when she was born, they named her "Damn!"
  • Yo momma so ugly, the last time she heard a whistle was when she got hit by a train.
  • Yo momma so ugly, when she passes by a bathroom, the toilet flushes.
  • Yo momma so ugly, she has to creep up on water to get a drink.
  • Yo momma so ugly, if she was a scarecrow, the corn would run away.
  • Yo momma so ugly, when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming.
  • Yo momma so ugly, when she was born she was put in an incubator with tinted windows.
  • Yo momma so ugly, when I last saw a mouth like hers, it had a hook in it.

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 2

§ 2 Comments

1

Fully half of these are funny, which is strong praise.

By "funny", I mean I'll probably find myself accidentally using them, or at least their punchlines, at some point in the future.

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