perfidy

Last month I spent a few days in the company of warriors. It was like going to a different planet compared to my usual day to day existence at a liberal, snoot-ay private college. A filmmaker and I shot several training exercises conducted by special operations forces. This training was largely built around urban maneuver and combat; some exercises were held at night, others in broad daylight; some with live ammo, others with a 9mm paintball-type submunition. Many of the operators we spoke to were combat veterans and the rest are soon to be. Here's a short list of what I learned. I think it worthwhile to share these observations, particularly with Bad Guys. If you are a Bad Guy, please take these to heart and save us all some trouble in the future: 

1. These guys WILL get into your house/bunker/cave/RV/hijacked plane. You can lock the door and latch the gate if it makes you feel better, but you really needn't bother. They will blow it up, blow it off, torch or saw through it within about 15 seconds. If you give them half a chance and a pipe wide enough they will throw on some flippers, swim into your house, and come right out of your tap the next time you get a glass of water.
2. If commandos kick your door in in the middle of the night, they will not kill you if you are not holding a weapon. If you are not a Bad Guy, you might want to stop, drop, & roll like Dick Van Dyke encouraged in that old PSA. That was for fires. For this scenario, if you curl up and refrain from looking menacing you'll be OK. If you have to cry or piss yourself, try not to move too much. If you are a Bad Guy and insist on meeting Allah at that very moment, reach for your weapon. Hello, virgins!
3. Special operations people are high-energy. They do nothing slowly or half-assed. If you are a Bad Guy, you will not outrun them. You may make them tired in the process of catching you, but that will only make your immediate future exceedingly difficult.
4. Special operations people shoot better than you. While you and you cohorts were spending your days deciding whether Israel or the US was more responsible for the world's evil, they were training. Day and night, year-round: close quarter battle. Long distance sniper ranges. Heavy weapons training. Look, I KNOW you want to get your share of virgins but put it this way: I also know some want them more than others. All you have to do is not shoot at the SOF guys and you'll live. Just say, "I must live to spawn a new generation of martyrs" or some such. That'll probably fly on Al Jazeera.
5. Special operations people WANT to kill Bad Guys. ALOT of Bad Guys. Badly. They are disappointed if they are not in the fight, and will not accept failure once on the battlefield. If you are a Bad Guy, do not confuse soldiers with warriors. Soldiers exist to do specific jobs: cooks, drivers, artillerymen, military police, etc., and vary in their readiness and quality of leadership. Warriors don't share these problems. They exist to kill you. They are grouchy when they aren't. Please make a note of it.