Yeah, But It's a Dry Cold

Buckethead Buckethead

The Ministry is engaged in a never-ending and ultimately fruitless effort to improve the knowledge, understanding, education and sang froid of its readership. To that end, we continue our series of alternate state mottoes to deepen your understanding of American politics and culture. In today's installment, we deal with the largest state, Alaska. Officially, the Alaskans say, "North To The Future." Some think otherwise:

  • The Fucking Huge State
  • It's Cold. Damn Cold. Real Cold. Cold.
  • Alaska, Gateway to Siberia
  • 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
  • Come 'Cause It's Pretty. Stay 'Cause You're Lost
  • Oil-slick-free for 15 years
  • We're cold and lonely: LET US HAVE OUR POT BACK!
  • We Get to Kill Whales and You Don't!
  • Nobody Exciting Lives Here
  • God It's Cold Up Here
  • Come freeze your Alaska off!
  • We'll let you club a seal
  • Remember Attu, Agattu and Kiska!

[wik] Bonus slogans!

  • Because Daylight's for Sissies
  • Not Penguins, Polar Bears and Orcas
  • The Only Things Harder Than Our Rocky Coast Are Our Nipples
  • A Suicide Rate not Nearly as Bad as Norway's
  • Our Most Dangerous Animal's a Rutting Moose
  • Imperial Russian Firesale!
Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 2

§ 2 Comments

1

"Because Daylight's for Sissies"

"Not Penguins. Polar Bears and Orcas"

"The Only Things Harder Than Our Rocky Coast are Our Nipples"

"A Suicide Rate Not Nearly as Bad as Norway's"

"Our Most Dangerous Animal's a Rutting Moose"

GeekLethal GeekLethal

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