perfidy

I assume that you are prepared for the coming Avian Flu Pandemic. If you've listened to the sage advice of the Ministry Bureau for Zombie Preparedness, you already have most of what you need in your Zombie Preparedness Kit. You've got your water supply - one gallon per person per day, for a month. You have non-perishable foods from munchies to MREs. You've stocked up on toothpaste, soap, toilet paper, little sachets of smelly stuff, and other essentials. You've got your generator, and an adequate fuel supply. Flashlights, tools, candles, radios and other survival implements are close to hand. You have plenty of whatever medications you need on a regular basis. For me, that's the twenty four year scotch and a couple cartons of cigarettes, but your mileage may vary. You've packed kit bags for various emergencies, and they are easily accessible or already in the car. You have weaponry: aluminum baseball bat, shotgun, .45, and ammo. And a machete. Can't forget the machete. To upgrade your ZPK to full Avian Flu Pandemic compliance, only a few additional items are needed. Lots of hand sanitizer. Medical filter masks. Rabbit's foot. But you knew that.

One thing you might not have considered is the effect of a global flu pandemic on your stock portfolio. Never fear, though. The eggheads at Citigroup have thought it all through, and offer sound advice on where and when to jump, money-wise, when the grim reaper starts a-reapin. Do I sell my airline stocks? What sectors are sound investments in a mild pandemic that aren't in a highly lethal virulent epidemic? Are bonds a safe haven, or will the collapse of the global trade network place unsupportable strains on the US dollar? Well, now you'll know. We'll be lying in a chaise lounge in the Ministry Catastratorium and Epidemiological Center with the HiDef tuned to bloomberg watching our portfolios rocket into the stratosphere while you are dealing with half-starved and fully mad mobs are wrecking your town and your retirement. Unless you plan ahead. Then you, like us, can learn what a beautiful word schadenfreude is.

[wik] I just trolled through the Ministry Archives looking for the post on the Zombie Preparedness Kit that I was sure I wrote, but I'll damned if I can find the fricken thing. I did find these two posts, but they only mention it, they don't describe it. I guess I have some homework for tomorrow.