perfidy

Johnno, you aren't by any chance left-handed, are you?

Congratulations, you won't be killed with a nuclear weapon! Doesn't exactly narrow things down, but at least removes an ugly possibility.

Allison, no I'm not. .... why do you ask?

B, well that's the thing. Doctors keep finding stuff wrong with me that they can't explain, then can't explain, then can't explain, and then start looking for the really dire and weird life-ending stuff because all the usual suspects are ruled out. So, really, it's goooooood news.

I read some articles last week on lefties' supposed increased tendencies to immune disorders and other odd health problems (and apparent slightly increased likelihood of homosexuality). My toddler boy is left-handed and kind of sickly, so I was interested.

Not that it proves anything, but my boy, aside from a cold that kept me awake last night, is right handed and very healthy.

Uh, this sounds a lot like a continution play on the earlier "unpleasantness". Or was it just a checkup?

While I never had it as bad as you did a while ago, I went through a long period of pseudo-pneumonia/pleurisy (hey - how many times do you get to use three "eu" words in a single phrase?) and they repeatedly tested for "connective tissue disorders" and "autoimmune diseases".

To no avail. Then, they loaded me up with steroids, and it went away.

You're not back in the middle of the same old mix, are you?

Patton, thankfully not. Without getting too deeply into my medical history, here's the deal. In addition to what the Victorians would call a "delicate constitution" (and I would undoubtedly be one of those strapping young lads in Victorian novels who tragically cough surreptitous blood into handkerchiefs throughout the second act prior to a tearful departure in the third), I have a tendency to get rare and bizarre rashes. Innocuous and totally non-gross stuff, don't worry, I'm not some kinda leper, but still, local inflammations of the capillaries and stuff like that that - yes - if not otherwise diagnosed could mean CTDs or autoimmune disorders. And in fact they also could still mean that anyway, remote chance.

Then there's the whole lung thing. FUN!, as you know.

Then recently my dentist observed the bone in my jaw disappearing at an alarming rate, and this after several years of moderately successful treatment for periodontal problems. Once again: autoimmune disorders on the table because almost everything normal has been ruled out. In this case I dodged a bullet - it just seems that my gums have receded to a point where other things happen spontaneously unless I brush/floss twice a day with five different implements (really... five), and my dentist's hygenicists hadn't clued her in. So that's another bullet dodged, and hopefully I'll be able to keep my real teeth for a few more years before nerve damage sets in.

But still. That's THREE autoimmune scares in two years. How long until the words "Johno's Disease" start turning up in the JAMA?

Glad to hear it's not autoimmune, anyway.

I'm left-handed and generally healthy as the proverbial horse. However, I may be a "traumatic" (as in got clonked on the head somewhere early) lefty: there's no family history to speak of, and I play bass and guitar and shoot rifles right-handed. Traumatic lefties tend to die prematurely, supposedly. Who knows? I come from long-lived stock on both sides of the family, at least the ones who didn't smoke like freight trains.