My Price? $8 and a bag of popcorn.
So last week I was made aware of an initiative by the producers of the new movie by Buffy The Vampire Slayer creator Joss Whedon, Serenity to let bloggers into screenings so we'd get all hepped up and write about it on our weblogs.
Which is cool. I'm a huge fan of Whedon's, even to the point of appreciating the script for Alien: Resurrection even as I consider the movie to be a pile of dog puke. So I sent in my email, and this is the email I got in return:
Congratulations! You are one of the lucky bloggers to be chosen and confirmed for the screening of SERENITY for the time, date and the number of guests that you have requested. Please note, this confirmation DOES NOT guarantee you a seat at the screening.To significantly increase your chances of getting into the screening, you MUST do the following:
· You MUST include the film’s synopsis on your blog (synopsis below) and you MUST link your blog to the SERENITY website (which has the trailer and production notes) http://www.serenitymovie.com and featured artwork. After you have screened the film, please discuss it on your blog. Please provide us the links to all of your blog posts on SERENITY at serenity@gracehillmedia.com
· Print out and bring a copy of this confirmation.
· Arrive at the theater AT LEAST 45 minutes before the show begins.
· Upon arrival at the theater, please find a UNIVERSAL PICTURES representative and inform him or her that you are part of the SERENITY BLOGGER BONANZA. The Universal rep will then instruct you as to what to do next.
· DO NOT bring in a camera or a cellular phone that takes pictures. They WILL be confiscated, and you will NOT be allowed into the screening.
· Have a great time!Joss Whedon, the Oscar® - and Emmy - nominated writer/director responsible for the worldwide television phenomena of BUFFY THE VAMPIRE, ANGEL and FIREFLY, now applies his trademark compassion and wit to a small band of galactic outcasts 500 years in the future in his feature film directorial debut, Serenity. The film centers around Captain Malcolm Reynolds, a hardened veteran (on the losing side) of a galactic civil war, who now ekes out a living pulling off small crimes and transport-for-hire aboard his ship, Serenity. He leads a small, eclectic crew who are the closest thing he has left to family –squabbling, insubordinate and undyingly loyal.
So, let me get this straight. I have been "chosen and confirmed" for the screening, but this choosing and confirmation does not guarantee me entry to the theater. Huh. And yet, I'm s'posta do all this stuff.
If I, a weblogger, a breed of writer well known for its intransigence, independence, and bullheadedness, jump through all these here hoops, there's a chance that I might get into a screening of this movie. Do these folks actually *know* what webloggers are like, or did this just come up in a marketing meeting as "hey! I know how we can get oodles of ad space, for free!"?
Hei Lun at Begging To Differ has a similar reaction, except much worse:
In other words, if you become a complete shill for them, they just might let you see their movie. Or they might not—sure, they have only 150 seats in the theater, but if they can get 200 bloggers to get down on their hands and knees and beg them for a ticket, who cares if 50 of them can't get in? Mighty tempting (well, not really), but no thanks.At the risk of sounding self-important, we're bloggers, not fanboys willing to prostitute away their self-respect for a movie ticket (though I see from Technorati that many bloggers are more than willing). I'm not saying that I'm highly principled and not-for-sale at any price, but it'd sure take more than $9.75 for someone to tell me what to write on this blog. Maybe this is standard operating procedure when big media companies give away free stuff, but if it is I want no part of it.
While I already to take a *certain* amount of direction as regards what I write, in that many of my music pieces are cross-posts from blogcritics.org, which maintains certain community standards, I often tart up my posts for the Ministry, which functions much like, as Buckethead once put it, our back porch. However, on our back porch, we keep shotguns loaded with rock salt for when salesmen come knocking.
How about this: it is confirmed that I have chosen to consider attending the screening of Serenity tomorrow night, but this confirmation does not guarantee I will show up, or write a follow-up review.
Kudos to "[my] Friends at Grace Hill Media" for making what felt like a mildly whorish move on behalf of an auteur whose work I like a great deal into something (that feels, at least) much more thorougly shill-ish. Nice job!
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While I am theoretically
While I am theoretically willing to prostitute myself - at least a little - just to get ten bucks worth of movie ticket, I am less sanguine about the idea when I'm not sure I get paid for giving up the booty.
If I slobbered over the film, and went on at great length about just how much I'd love to fellate Joss Whedon for his wonderful, wonderful screenplays; well dammit I want a movie ticket. Not just some vague handwaving about show up at the theater and we'll tell you what else you have to do to maybe get a ticket.
And Johno, I think I suggested white phosphorus for the shotguns. Willy Pete gives the salesman that extra special tingly feeling we want them to experience for interrupting our beer swilling.
Actually, the funny thing
Actually, the funny thing about this is really just the heavy-handedness. If I went to see the movie (which I likely would have anyway) and was moved by the spirit to post about it on this blog, I likely would have included a link to the film's website as a matter of course. Linking is what we do here in the blogosphere. Likewise, a small synopsis would have not been out of the question. That's normal.
But having to use the exact, and poorly written text of their synopsis is a burden, along with the lack of a guaranteed seat. Show up forty five minutes early, for a shot at a ticket? Please, not when I have to arrange for baby-sitting for a two year old son if my wife is coming along. And can she? Or do I have to grant her one-day access to the blog so she can post the same synopsis, along with me, Johno and probably Ross, GL and Patton?
Effing stupid.
Actually, the funny thing
Precisely. All the stuff they said is stuff I'd do anyway, most likely. And even a "we're trying to get the following synopsis into all the postings, so please do your best to work it in" goes down smoother than "IT IS REQUIRED."
Which is why this smells like a marketing meeting to me, not a sincere bit of forward-thinking outreach.
Re: Willy-Pete. You're a sick man. I just want it to sting a little, not burn!
So, bottom line: I won't be
So, bottom line: I won't be going.
Sorry, Grace Hill Media. I'm pretty sure I'd have loved it.
I just seems to me that they
I just seems to me that they would have got what they wanted even if they had been nicer about it instead of REQUIRING. Seems to be that they don't understand the type of folk who man the blogosphere. Why would we write anything original when we could blockquote it?
And REQUIRING a link to the site? Hello? What blog *wouldn't* link to the site?
And why would they REQUIRE us to post that poorly-written synopsis? I mean, I'm an amateur writer and all, but I want to make sure everyone realizes I simply posted that because I had to.
They're going to get buzz over this of one sort or another, but if the movie's no good, I doubt many bloggers will feel compelled to be nice in order to keep their access like many professional reviewers do. Which is as it should be.