Resistance is Futile
The Ministry has a funny feeling in its tummy as it announces the assimilation of yet another Minister. Patton, until his recent meltdown, was a prolific and insightful blogger at Opinion 8. But a crack Ministry team of commando psychotherapists, sufis, herbal nutritionists and daytime TV life coaches were (at great personal risk) able to pull him back from the brink. A refreshed, restored, loofahed, and shinily optimistic Patton is now ready to flaunt his unique blogging idiom under the banner of the all conquering Ministry.
To make Patton welcome in his new home, all readers are commanded to think of clever and mildly (mildly!) deprecating snippets to include in the random list of capsule bios that appear under every minister's name in the left sidebar. Any new links for giant fighting robots, zombies, and other species traitors should be sent to Patton, so that he can catch up with everyone else.
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Meltdown or implosion, we are
Meltdown or implosion, we are glad that the Life coaches were able to save you, and bring you on board. And being opinionated panty-waists is our whole raison de etre.
You should fit right in.
Good news indeed! Saving
Good news indeed! Saving Patton from oblivion is like... uh... something really good.
Snippets... hmmmm...
"Be nice, he owns the spell-checker."
"Dad wanted him to grow up tough, but 'Sue' was already taken."
Uh, I beg to differ - it wasn
Uh, I beg to differ - it wasn't a meltdown. I prefer to think it was really more of a disgust-induced implosion, and I sincerely appreciate the willingness of the Ministry to provide a refuge for this opinionated panty-waist.
As for the clever list of capsule bio entries, I'm alternately flattered, humbled, and embarrassed by the ones already extant.
This, of course, is an indication of "Mission Accomplished" on the parts of all who were involved in the creation. So congratulations are due, all 'round. I'll do my best not to disappoint.
Let me be the first to
Let me be the first to welcome our new robotic overlor-- uh... erm...
I mean, let me be the first to welcome our new insect ov-- ohh, dang...
...let me be the first to welcome our new coblogger to the fold. Just FYI, if you find any Moxie or Dr. Brown's Celery Tonic in the fridge in the Ministry Catastratorium, that's mine and there's a penalty for taking without asking.