Big Ideas, Big Talent, and all Bent Toward Big Slacking
Loyal reader and former mullet-bearer Phil has noted, in responding to the most recent edition of TWiEHB, that despite their publicized buffoonery university students do have ideas. He was being sarcastic, and I think he and I are of one mind concerning students generally. I remembered that Phil has commented in the past about higher ed, which had caused me to think big thoughts about higher ed, which in turn snuffed any single, simple response I composed concerning higher ed. His questions were too good and defied bloggish, simplistic responses. So I ignored them, because addressing them proved too much like work.
This time, Phil has reminded me that despite my snarkiness over rampaging overgrown children, many students DO have ideas. And he is right. They DO have intellectual talent, and healthy imaginations. They DO have the mental equipment to build a framework of understanding, a framework that, with a decent education and nurturing of caring faculty, can ultimately lead to the highest offices of leadership in our nation, and in our world.
And until they really really need to function in adult society, like when there's a paycheck riding on their productivity, they will use those skills to get over, cheat, whine, and weasel out of exams.
Here are 2 excuses I can recall, just off the top of my head, from when I was a TA, concerning missing an exam (or some other deadline):
"My roommate was freaking out because it turned out she was on crack and I had to take her to the emergency room," and yadda yadda yadda, "couldn't make the exam". Roughly 12 hours later.
"My roommate's ex-boyfriend, who's been stalking her, was lurking about and we had to go into hiding all night" and yadda yadda yadda, "couldn't take the exam". Again, 12 hours after the fact.
What is the lamest excuse you ever heard for someone missing an exam? What is the lamest excuse you personally ever had the nuts to give to get out of an exam?
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I was once at a party at a
I was once at a party at a neighbor's house (this was in grad school days when I was a TA. The neighbors were notable recreational chemical enthusiasts) at the end of a semester during exam week. I was half in the bag, having just completed: a hellish week and a half sleepless sprint to finish a major research paper; twelve cans of Red Dog Lager; and roughly five inches of an eight-inch Macanudo cigar.
So here I am at this party, having fun and being stupid, when I hear from across the room, "Hey-- you're my TA!"
Having verified that the person in question was, in fact, in my class and that he was, in fact, enjoying the output of a popular class of art-sculptural drug delivery device, I proceeded to wonder (to myself) a) whether he intended to sober up between then and the exam, twelve hours hence, b) why I hadn't seen him since the fifth week of class, and c) just what kind of idiot he was to hail me-- a person with control over his future-- from across a room while holding a minor collaborative miracle of fluid dynamics and hydroponic horticulture.
He must have anticipated my question, because he proceeded to ask me if he still had a shot at passing the class if he did well on the exam. Well hell, what could I say? He was one of the smartest kids in the class and considering the tail end of the bell curve left room for a potted nopal cactus to pull a D-, I assured him that the possibility was remote but attainable given a sterling exam performance.
I left the party very soon after that, but not before catching sight of the student perfoming a retro-80s trick with a mirror, a dollar bill, and some crushed up perscription medications. I added one more "F" to my mental tally of the damned.
What has all this to do with excuses? Well... check out this mix of brass balls and melon head. The selfsame 'scrip snorting bongload who I had seen the previous evening cleansing his skull of the few remaining shreds of higher function he had left showed up for the exam! An hour late! And took a blue book!
Half an hour later, he woke up, picked his head up off his desk, and handed me in an otherwise blank blue book with just his name on the cover, looked me sorta in the eye, and with a desultory sideways shrug that reeked of hangover, offered as an excuse, "sorry, man."
Sorry is right.
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As for my own excuses, I only missed part of an exam once. I offered no excuse but the truth: I had been up 'til 4 at my computer center job after closing the coffeehouse the night before, which was right after a Concert Band concert and a main-stage theatre production dress rehearsal for which I was sound designer and engineer. Sorry Vivien: I was sleeping.
"I moved."
"I moved."
It was my freshman year at Univ. Northern Colorado. I had all my Spring semester finals on Monday/Tuesday but one. On Wednesday I moved out of the dorms into an apartment and Thursday I settled in. On Friday I was kicking it in the new pad when it occurred to me I'd completely forgotten to go to my last final (Thursday morning).
It was a one-credit course. I never made up the final and wound up with an "Incomplete" that eventually turned into an "F" a couple years later. It was the only failing grade I received in school - all because I couldn't remember one stupid final.
EDog
EDog,
EDog,
That's the outline of a recurring dream that I have, and that is common among people who care about grades, punctuality, matching socks, and the like.
Forgetting to take the final, or going to the extra required lab, and flunking. I have it about every other month.
You lived the nightmare.
My grandfather died during my
My grandfather died during my fall semester freshman year. He used to live with us and the only one I ever knew. It was a hit and run accident and the driver was never found. I went home to be with my family. The last time I saw him was 6 months before for graduation. Geez. Thinking about it now, I'm in tears. I miss him so much. I'm even nostalgic for the time he hit me across the knuckles with a ruler when I missed a note playing piano. I was 6 and he just cackled, "That's what they do in Korea!" Of course, he never did it again. He just wanted to make a point.
Maps,
Maps,
That's not a "lame excuse".
Well, looking back on it, I
Well, looking back on it, I could have taken the exam that day. I just thought I wanted to be at home. Truthfully, I know I was just looking for an extra month to study. It was the one class I failed in college. But I don't think anyone cares about passing Intermediate Greek in the IT industry.
I was just trying to name
I was just trying to name-check the">http://www.lyricstime.com/lyrics/23155.html]the Pixies, but I'm glad I prompted a post!
I didn't have any excuses
I didn't have any excuses that came to mind, but the one exam I missed was a mistake I made reading the schedule. I had an exam on the 18th and an exam on the 19th, and I somehow managed to get the dates backwards. So I go up to the room where I thoought my exam was on the 18th, and see about half a dozen people outside(the class I was in had ~50 students), and I didn't recognize any of them. I asked what the exam was for, and it turned out to be some sort of fourth-year geology course I couldn't even pronounce the title of. So I go downstairs to a lounge I frequent, and after a couple hours of hanging around, I head home, and look at an exam schedule outside. Well, you can imagine what happened then - I saw that i had them backwards, and I freak out(since it was like an 80% final). I acknowledge my fuckedness, head off to the exam room, and tell the prof to mark me down as having not written the exam(since for some bizarre reason that counts as a 32%, which is better than I was looking to get). Did a lot better at the exam the next day that I had an extra day to study for, but considering that I was in a position where I wasn't able to fail any courses, it didn't really matter much. Ah well, ont he upside, I'm back in school now.
There was one other time I missed part of an exam, but this one's not as bad. First term of first year, I had a 9:00 Chem exam. And I woke up at 10:00. I went from being in bed to the exam room in 10 minutes(it's notrmally a 10-minute walk), and managed to get in despite the fact that I was a little bit on the wrong side of the one-hour limit on how late you can be. However, I still managed to get out with 15 minutes left and I got like an 88% on it(I'm really damn good in chemistry). And then I wonder why I have no study habits now when I used to be able to pull off shit like that...
Phil,
Phil,
Sorry I blew your punchline.
I didn't get it. Well, I never got the Pixies so... there you go.