26 Innings in 27 Hours and Two Victories in One Sweet-Ass Monday

Johno Johno

And the dead walk still.

Wherever your sympathies may lie, no one can deny that the Red Sox and the Yankees are incapable of playing a boring series. Even though post-season baseball is by nature exciting even when it's boring, like the fairly snoozerific 1997 Indians-Marlins world series. Though I was (and sort of am) an Indians fan at the time, being from Ohio and all (state motto: "Power of Attorney: Totally Gay"), and though I spent most of that series either on the edge of my seat or powerfully medicated with Old English Malt Liquor and 591.471ml intravenous injections of Budweiser, even I can't deny that most of that seven-game-plus-extras series was, incontrovertably, sucky.

(Evidently today I'm doing my best impression of David Eggers doing his best impression of George Will doing his best impression of Hunter Thompson. Wait until I link up the symmetry of the diamond with the demographic composition of the patrons of my local laundromat at lunchtime and filter both through a highball of Wild Turkey. Someone get me an editor! Stat!)

In the space of 27 hours, the Red Sox and Yankees played 26 innings or 10:51 hours of baseball. In the process, they set records for the longest game in ALCS history (five hours, two minutes) and in postseason history (five hours, 49 minutes), used every pitcher on both squads, and made a hero out of a chunky first-baseman who was let go by the Minnesota Twins. Moreover, both games were won by the Red Sox at opposite ends of the same Monday, all with the Yankees up 3 games to none on a series that after Saturday night's 19-8 bloodbath looked as finished as Fredo at the end of Godfather II when he steps into that rowboat.

I am reminded of Golden Age Marvel comics, with the Yankees (of course) in the part of the Ming-collared villain and the Red Sox (natch) as the muscular-yet-sensitive superhero type. According to formula, the good guy gets himself in a bad situation (such as strapped to a torture machine or down 3 games to none in a League Championship), with the bad guy intent on administering the coup de grace. Yadda yadda, evil cackle, and then the inevitable panel of our hero, face contorted in a rictus of pain and Mr. Bad screaming, "Why won't you DIE!?!?" at which time our hero breaks free and whups much ass.

Of course being the postmodernistic sort that I am and a connoiseur of latter-day graphic novel type kiddie entertainments, I am also reminded of that formula, in which our hero's face contorts in a rictus of pain! He breaks free of the machine! He leaps to his feat! The battle is joined!... and he takes a bullet in the chest and dies drowning in his own blood.

I know which scenario is more likely to happen, but I have been soaking in the New England Calvinism long enough to know that, regardless of our knowledge of our own inevitable damnation, hope must spring still that Red Sox Nation is finally among the chosen.

Just because it's part of the liturgy up here were God takes a back seat to David Ortiz, I'm going to say it. Knowing perfectly well that by saying it, I have just jinxed the whole damn enterprise and queered the deal for another season, and knowing perfectly well that tomorrow I'll be back here again contritely apologizing for being so foolish as to get my hopes up that the greatest rivalry in baseball might turn into the greatest story baseball ever told, I'm saying it. This is the year.

[wik] Michael Berube (imagine the accent marks yourself) has an outsider's opinion on the matter.

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 9

§ 9 Comments

1

Me, I'm just looking forward to being able to say, once again with pride:

"Washington, first in war, first in peace, and last in the National League."

Buckethead Buckethead

2

"The battle is joined!... and he takes a bullet in the chest and dies drowning in his own blood."

Arithmetically, the most likely outcome. And it matters not. The Sox have done themselves proud, against an arguably better team. I still hope to see an all wild-card World Series, myself, but by then I won't be rooting for Boston. Until then, I will.

I'm still processing, in wonderment, the situation from the other night where my wife (no sports nut, she) blurted out, at 3:30AM "It's all about the pitching!"

Patton Patton

4

P, assuming the Astros manage to finish off the superior Cardinals (sorry, it's true, and no reflection on their personal qualities), which seems likely, I can't blame you for rooting for the hometown team.

The Hollywood ending would pit the BoSox vs the Astros in Game 7, with Roger Clemens starting against the team he left in the lurch. Depending on which formula you write from, he either gets beat to hell for a Sox win, or he pitches a no-no against the scoringest offense in baseball, leaving the Sox bullpen to cough up the loss in the 12th inning.

More likely is the Pinstriped Shitheads against your Astros, in which case, um, go Astros!

Did anyone hear the new chant at Fenway Park? Since frequent steroid user Gary Sheffield is now part of the Yanks, and since Pedro brought on that irritating "Who's Your Daddy? (clap clap clapclapclap)" thing, the fans at Fenway have started chanting for Sheff, "Who's Your Dealer? (clap clap clapclapclap)." Priceless.

Johno Johno

5

Hey, I'm hoping for the Sox to win too, but it's for different reasons. First, and most importantly, they're not the Yankees. Second, a Red Sox/anyone else World Series would mean that I could bet on it with absolute confidence of collecting on the bet. And hey, who can argue with free money?

Alsadius Alsadius

6

This just in: Boston just became the first ever to recover from a 3-0 deficit. So much for jinxing the whole damned enterprise.

Go Sox.

Patton Patton

7

J: Funny thing about the earlier post on Cards/'Stros: I saw a couple of their head to head matchups this year, and the Cards are rather awesome, starting with the unfortunately named and incredibly talented Albert Poo-hole.

But I was surprised to find that the Astros had won 10 of 18 against them this year, so perhaps the Cards can be the best team in the NL Central without being better in direct competition with the new, Beltran-improved Astros. One can hope, but it looks like a possibility.

Patton Patton

8

What is with Carlos Beltran?!?! Everyone knew he was good, but holy crap! The second coming of Willie Mays, except better... like Willie Mays grafted onto a very displeased Ty Cobb!

Alsadius, I work with guys who are in big finance, and every one of them says the same thing. Regardless of their affiliation or fandom, they all repeat the same mantra come the postseason: "there is no downside to betting against the Red Sox." Tonight will be ugly.

B-- I know for a fact that what you say will happen, will happen, provided tonight goes off well. That's how this works. But you think that losing the series again will somehow be more painful than last year's ALCS game 7? No way. If the Red Sox make it to the Big Show and lose, it will be a giant bummer, the stuff of everyday disappointment. Last year was something grander, something once-in-a-generation.

Eff it. No matter what happens, puttin' the scare into the Yankees has been worth it anyway.

Johno Johno

9

Good point - visiting an unprecedented loss upon the Yankees is worth much. Another victory tonight will please me greatly.

Buckethead Buckethead

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