perfidy

To hell with the candy-flavored smokes.

Mike Dewine (R-Monkeybutt Junction) needs to keep an eye on his staffers and their blogs...

Mike Dewine, unless he's changed a lot since the last time I saw him, is a goofy, moralizing, meddling ass-nugget. Neither senator from Ohio is worth half a shit, and, while I don't live there any longer, they're still able to attempt to spread their not-worth-half-a-shittedness to cover me in Texas.

And I'll pretend to be conflicted about his stupid law. OK. I'm done pretending.

It's a stupid law. For stupid people. If my daughter starts smoking, I'll kill her, which is my job, not the government's. At least if it happens before she's allowed to leave home and marry, which will be on her 30th birthday.

This is how it smoking control should be taught.

Or so I delude meself. And even if I'm wrong, Mike Dewine's got no better answer.

Patton,
Whether or not the legislation is necessary matters not at all. What was the last neccessary law you've seen? Or more to the point, the last one you experienced that purported to deal with the scourge of our time but is better prevented by common sense and familial leadership?

Slightly relevant story: I smoked regularly for about 8 years (I quit around this time in 1998). As you may know, smoking is a highly social activity, a brotherhood of smoke and stink.

When I was in the Guard, one time I was having a smoke when one of my captains walked by. We got to talking, and he explained why he doesn't (didn't) smoke:

"When I was a boy, about 8 or 9, a friend and I snuck some of my dad's smokes out and tried them behind the garage. He found us and was pissed. He dragged me out from behind the garage, sat me down in the backyard, and made me EAT every cigarette still in the pack."

That experience, he explained, was enough to turn him off smoking forever.

Coming from MA, please let's not talk about senators who are not worth a shit.

Ohio currently is number 3 in the nation in production of processing tomatoes, and number one in the production of empty suits in high office (Taft, Voinovich, DeWine...and let's throw in Dick Celeste for good measure).

PS, does anyone else remember those candy cigarettes from when we were kids? They were kind of chalky-tasting, but if you "smoked" them a little puff of powdered sugar would blow out the end, resembling smoke. You could get a few good puffs that way. I think they ultimately turned into gum after enough sucking and gnawing. Yucky hard gum chalk. Those have been gone for a long time in these parts.

They've been gone, at least from my experience, for a long time, and with good reason; they were a cruddy excuse for candy.

My only remaining stupid habit is smoking, and I'm proud only to say that it wasn't a habit I picked up from those oral-fixation training devices. At least I don't think so.

Obviously, it's a habit I hope not to see my daughter pick up. But that's my lookout, not the Ohio delegation's.

And, sorry - I'd forgotten you were a Masshole; please accept my apologies for even bringing up the issue of relative senatorial worthlessness.

I used to prefer the chocolate ciggies, although getting the paper off was a pain in the ass.

Ah, I remember Dick Celeste. "Dick Celeste, before he dicks you!"

Personally, I think Voinovich is stalking me. I lived in Cleveland when he was mayor. I moved to Columbus, and he got elected governor. I moved to DC, and he got elected senator. He just can't bear to be more than a few miles away from me.

I thought that replacing our idiot democratic senators with idiot republican senators would yield a slight improvement. Glenn gets props for being an astronaut and all, nevertheless, he was still an idiot. But Metzenbaum was a complete hosebag lackwit. I think that our two current senators are better, but that really ain't saying much. A pile of spinach would make a better senator than Howard Metxenbaum.

I remember, but don't really miss the candy cigarettes. My mom has a pic of me and my three cousins puffing on those abominations. They were truly bad candy. The candy I really miss is superropes. Vaguely stawberry licorice stuff, sold in three foot lengths of sugary goodness. Since I was the only one who ate them, I was always assured of a good supply of properly aged superropes. Until they stopped selling them. Bastards.

B:

Ah, but How-how-howie Metzenbaum is famous as the father in law of Joel Hyatt - remember him? He made Howie look almost respectable, though only by comparison.

Sounds like you and I might have overlapped living in Columbus. I would say I'm sorry GV followed you to DC, but it wouldn't be completely truthful, if the alternative were his having followed me to TX.

If my daughter starts smoking, I'll kill her, which is my job, not the government's.

Absolutely! Active parenting involves putting the fear of God into your child. If they don't have a conscience of their own, at least they have mortal fear to use as their guidepost for good behavior. I can't tell you how many times in high school I turned down drinks with the reply of 'My dad would beat the crap out of me if I got drunk. No thanks!'

Kids have no respect these days, hence I have no respect for them.

Candy cigarettes were the worst candy ever. Even sourballs were better penny candy. My favorite? Frozen Charleston Chews in vanilla, chocolate and strawberry.

Maps,
Frozen C Chews?! As I recall, the Charleston Chew takes on adamantine properties when frozen. I bet letting some smallish rocks roll around in your mouth would do less damage to your teeth!

GL - that reminds me of these insults my college roommate and her boyfriend would trade. She's 2nd generation Italian-American from Calabria. Her bf was 4th from Milan, whose parents own a famous bakery in SF that supplies all the Italian restaurants in North Beach. She would say, "What is going on with you Northern Italians? You guys have no idea how to bake bread!" He would retort, "There's nothing wrong with the bread! You Southerners are so poor you can't afford good teeth!"

Might you be needing a new set? *winky*

Patton,

I remember Joel Hyatt. His faux populism set my teeth on edge. And the arrogance of his senate run was unbelievable. As if he really thought that he could inherit it like he will all of Howie's money. I was was very, vey happy to see him lose.

I was in Columbus from '89 to '95. Mostly in Larry's Bar, Grill and Seminar of Lower Woodruff avenue. Which is now a live music venue, of all things.

Maps,

Too few women these days have any appreciateion of the use of fear as a pedagogical tool. You are a gem.

B - There is book out called, I think, The Virtue of Fear. I will have to make that my next libarary loan. I think fear is good. It's just like today's thread about the killer whales, nature, and a healthy respect for scary things. Yes, the boogeyman is not real, but bullets, rape and taxes are.

I think the key is to instill in children a sense of the things they can control and not control, balanced risks and rewards, and respecting limits of themselves and others.

Truthfully, I only have only had corporal punishment once, and while it was a little insane, I was old enough to know better and should not have been so stubborn, and everyone all around was sorry when it was over.

<whine>I just want parents to do their job and BE parents.</whine> My parents are not my friends. I don't love them any less than anyone else loves theirs, but I think the 'friend' concept undermines discipline and respect sometimes.

Oh yeah, the last tidbit is that Koreans are all about hazing and stoicism. You take your lumps and keep a stiff upper lip. No one is there to catch your fall unless you are a mega conglomerate with economic subsidies. (that's another thread)

But then again, we had candy. Lots of it. Weird Korean and Japanese ones, and especially candy cigarettes and Charleston Chews. *winky*

Maps,
Getting, waaaay off topic here- sorry- I never served in Korea but knew many men who had. Your remark about Korean stoicism is precisely what their experience was when working with the ROK generally and KATUSAs specifically. Loyal to a fault and tough as nails, especially senior NCOs.