Threat Level: Tiresome
Well, that's nice. CNN is reporting that the "Office" of "Homeland" "Security" are considering ... wait for it... ....wait for it.... adding another level to the Great Rainbow Fear-O-Meter.
"The debate is not over whether to add a new color [to the terror threat alert system], sources said. Instead, a slightly higher warning level may be added within orange.
Currently the highest level of alert is for a "severe" risk of terrorist attack, indicated by the color red. Below red is orange, meaning a "high" risk of attack exists.
For now, each level of risk has its own color. Yellow, blue and green follow orange and stand for "elevated," "guarded" and "low" risks of attack, respectively. Sources said the current discussion was prompted by the belief of some in the government that if the U.S. takes military action against Iraq the threat level should be raised above orange to indicate an even greater risk of retaliation against Americans and U.S. targets overseas. But there is fear that raising the risk to the ultimate warning level would do serious harm to an already-shaky economy, the sources said."
Oh holy God. THIS is what the government is spending billions of dollars on? Orange is no longer.... orange enough?? I certainly hope they plan to have several briefings about how to distinguish between Pumpkin Alert, Tangerine Dream Alert, and Kiss' o' Citron Swirl Alert. Without their on-the-spot attention to bureaucratic minutia, I am left dangling, unsure how much time each day to allot to stricken whimpering and existential angst! But wait, there's more important information here!! The article goes on to describe the kinds of suspicious behaviors terrorists engage in, the better to know when to swing to Raw Umber Alert status!
"Sources say the kinds of activity they would consider suspicious include people taking pictures at bridges and subway entrances, and people sitting on train platforms who appear to be monitoring the timing of arrivals and departures."
Because, as we all know, Japanese tourists and lonely old people are the biggest threats of all. I imagine a terrorist would just pick up a schedule from the information kiosk, but I'm not a highly-trained terrorism expert like the geniuses at the "Office" of "Homeland" "Security."
The OHS is an insulting waste of time and money, and will be remembered as an embarrassing black mark on the administration of Bush the Younger.
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