perfidy

And get drunk on Marion Barry's. Then I'm going to send Cox Communication an invoice for the hours I spent on the phone getting them to do the obvious. ("hmmn. the work order says 'cable modem,' maybe we should leave one for the nice customer.") I bill at $120/hour. They wasted two and one quarter hours of my precious time. That's four months free cable. 

What is a Marion Berry you ask? This drink, invented by the estimable Jonah Goldberg and his cohorts, is "a concoction of Jagermeister, Kahlua, bourbon and Coke. Why this collection? Because we wanted a drink "so black not even the man could keep it down." 

[Update] And, yes, I do have the necessary ingredients. Getting the wife's permission is a different matter. 
 

I get high speed IN-TER-NET. Yeeeeehaaaa.

Daniel Drezner and CalPundit agree with me about the Bush administration, which means I'm right. Or more accurately, it means they're right. I'm always right first.

I must not think bad thoughts, or the person who writes under that name, has a post up about a supposed smear campaign by the US government against the French. It's interesting, especially in the aftermath of the Private Lynch: Daring Rescue, Or Street Theatre? flap the BBC perpetrated. Not to mention L'Affaire Blaine. The news is practically mental poison half the time anyway, and pretty much anybody can cite a statistic, couch it in a pungent turn of phrase, and throw it out there as "fact," whaver that is. Who believes the news anymore, anyway? Except for American Idol news. We like that.

In a related note, a couple weeks ago, I was out West* visiting some friends. These friends happen to be European and Europhiles, who have spent a substantial amount of time in France. We were arguing as people do these days over just who is the bigger a-hole, France or the USA. Both friends agreed that I would love France and the French, because, after all, I'm just like them.

After I regained my breath, I thought about it, and you know what? (shudder)

they're right.

Arrogant? Check!
Self-Important? Check!
Evangelical about (their particular) republican ideals? Check!
Certain they're right in all things? Oh, check! Check! Check!
Keen fashion sense and refined palate? Why, check, thank you!

Bottom line is, we might hate them, and they us, but it's only because culturally, we're more alike than most other peoples are. Kind of like brothers. They're the stinky ones who play in the band and collect bugs, and we're the good-looking atheletes who also volunteer time at the local shelter and excel at math. Yup, brothers.

*West, in New-England speak, refers to any locale from Worcester, MA, to Los Angeles or Seattle. I was out West.

That sound you hear? That's the universe spontaneously realigning itself to fit my wishes.

The original meaning of the greek root aristoi.

Please give due attention to Windy City's post below about Amina Lawal. I mean, what the hell? Some places just have things too ass-backwards to be believed, and don't you lay any of your culturally-relative sensitivity bullcrap on me about it. I'm so angry about this, I shit in my own Wheaties this morning.

My initial impressions, gathered over almost a week, is that fatherhood involves taking naps whenever the baby is asleep, and doing whatever Mrs. Buckethead tells me to do. Occassionally, I get to hold the baby. The only problem arises when I am instructed to do several things, but given no guidance on how to prioritize these tasks. Nevertheless, I am adapting. When I pause for a moment to consider the glories of fatherhood, the sublime joy of holding my son, I am usually interrupted before I get too sappy about everything. This is probably for the best.

The details:

John Christian was born at 12:37pm on Sunday, May 4 (Quatro de Mayo! Yeah!) and on arrival weighed in at 7lbs, 12oz. He is 20 inches long. If you need metric, screw you, I'm busy. After a remarkably easy labor (Mrs. Buckethead's first comment after JC arrived: "That wasn't so bad.") John slid into the world; messy, purple and coneheaded. These problems soon corrected themselves, and now my mom says he's cuter than I was. Obviously, mom is adapting to grandmotherhood with frightening speed. Since getting home from the hospital on Tuesday, we've been in a fugue state, never quite aware of the time or date, and all activities subject to the whim of my son's digestive system (inbound or outbound or both.)

Nevertheless, I can report with absolute confidence that my son is remarkably advanced; mentally, physically and spiritually. My baby can kick your baby's ass. No, seriously. Belinda will probably not be happy with that last thought, so I will sign off before I get in more trouble. I'll will return to a semi-regular posting schedule as a return to work middle of next week.

In the meantime, here are some thoughts on the last week's posts:

Smoking bans suck, and are completely unjustifiable on any grounds. However, if you smoke around my baby, I'll kick your ass.

Johno is correct in his assessment of the RIAA. If they crash my computer while I'm trying to bid on a Baby Bjorn baby carrier (porta bebe in spanish. heh.) on Ebay, I'll kick their ass.

Ghoulardi broadcast from Cleveland, CBS channel 8. Disagree, and I'll kick your ass.

Johno's biography would run to 37 pages, double spaced in 16 point courier new. Mine would be 42 pages. But that's only because I'm older. Mike's would be 142 pages, but only because he's got to fit all that Marxist dialectical bullshit in. I won't kick his ass, because I can't.

Looks like the NYT has gone through a typical learning curve on the Museum looting. They did a similar phreak out on the melting polar cap a while ago. "Its gone!" "Well, a lot of its gone!" Well, Its not really gone at all, sorry." I should kick their ass.

I want the military to return to its proper research direction - more than lethal weapons. Then they can kick ass.

France. Oil. Heh.

Minutemen kicked ass, that's why PC brigades (brigades - what a military term.) are afraid of them. How about another contest: Most unPC team mascots. You must connect your mascot to a specific college or high school. It must offend at least one protected victim group, preferably all. (Like the "Nuke a gay whale for jesus" bumper stickers.) It should make full use of stereotypes, slurs, and slander. Bonus category: make unPC mascots for groups not necessarily considered victim groups. These should follow the same pattern as the regular entries. Prize is getting your ass kicked, and a lollipop. Heh.

In all likelihood, people associate Massachusetts with political leaders who publicly advocated, worked toward, or voted for initiatives that were left of center. John, Robert, and especially Ted Kennedy advocated or actively supported, at least publicly, civil rights legislation. Ted Kennedy, for example, incensed people in Southie, traditionally Democratic voters, when he supported public school integration. To put it simply, while the people of Southie, in general, did not support integration initiatives, their political representative did. While John and Robert Kennedy were virulently anti-Communist, Robert softened his stance in the late 1960s, and both did publicly support civil rights legislation. In other matters, Ted Kennedy has consistently voted for left of center legislation in the Senate. To mention them here would belabor the point.
Other Massachusetts politicians have similarly advanced left of center policies. Mike Dukakis, the last gasp of the left in the Democratic party, was very left of center publicly. While he was also an elitist who did not support public higher education, he was by and large left of center, and certainly more so than any other candidate to run for President on the Democratic ticket since. Machine Democrats such as Curley were also economically and politically left of center in an American New Deal sort of way, despite the racism inherent in Machine Democrat practices. Bear in mind, by the standard of the times, prior to the 1960s or even Seventies, a politician could be left of center but not a 1990s style diversity advocate. As a side note, advocates of diversity tend to be hypocritical because they don't really advocate diversity, just argue that if it's not white male it's good. But that's another post perhaps.

Beyond politicians, however, the general populace has also demonstrated left of center leanings. In 1972, Massachusetts was the only state McGovern carried. He was also very left of center, certainly by American standards. I wouldn't dismiss the labor aspect of Massachusetts. Labor is the heart and soul of the economic left. Of course, the new faux left doesn't seem to give a rat's ass about economic or political issues; it's all about wearing helmets and not saying bad things that hurt other people's feelings for them. In other words, if labor has remained important to Massachusetts, then the state is truly more left of center than people who think culture is the be-all-end-all of human existence.

In other words, I don't think that Massachusetts has been associated with Communism. I think it's been considered more liberal by the modern American definition. Of course, some John Birch types and other right of center folks did call modern American definition liberalism Communism. But they were wrong. Know why? Everyone I've mentioned above, including McGovern, was still a capitalist and an upholder of American representative democratic governmental systems. But even those MADLs of Massachusetts were from urban Massachusetts. There has been an urban/rural divide in American society pretty much from the get-go, and everywhere in the western world urban areas tend to be more progressive and rural areas conservative or reactionary. Therefore, it's mostly urban Massachusetts where MADLs can be found. So, as you correctly point out, the characterization of Massachusetts as Communist is way off the mark, but there is some justification for looking to urban Massachusetts for left of center politicians, and in some cases, populace.

I'll be away for the next few days, at a wedding in the Berkshires. We're all going to dance barefoot under the moon and give thanks to the Earth-Spirit. No, no, no, we're going to sip champagne cocktails and look through our monocles at each others' Bentleys.

Actually, neither of those. I'm going to have a bitchen time with some friends, and they're going to get married. It'll be cool as hell.

Now that this forum has covered such top-5 lists as "Best Presidents," "Worst Presidents, and "Most Unlikely Military Geniuses," I'm going to make a left turn out of the lofty and offer another very personal top-5 list, just for giggles. Here are my top five favorite things about New England that nobody in their right minds would ever enjoy, but for some reason go over big here:

Moxie
Sky Bars
fried whole-belly clams
The Dropkick Murphys
The Red Sox

I'm not a native New Englander, but damn if I don't like to watch a Sox game while sucking down a Moxie and some fried clams.

As a (low-ranking) member of the technocratic elite that rules the world, I write, among other things, software manuals, process documentation and other things that are never read by my company's clients. I have to constantly fight the temptation to introduce small inconsistencies, errors and jokes into my work. The most that I allow myself is extremely subtle irony. Maybe that temptation is similar to the need textile workers once felt to throw shoes into the apparatus.

...Pretentious

Not literally, but figuratively. Spending three days in the presence of Buckethead is apparently like having your brain sucked out through a straw. Maybe it was the tequila. No, it was probably driving through Connecticut twice in four days.

Worse, I am feeling EXACTLY NO urge to opine, pontificate, conjecture, or fulminate. I know what a terrible burthen I do carry, to be the sole light in the darknefs in which ye readers live. But not to worry, ye unwashed, as I wait for my hortatorial and difsertative prowefs to return from the far reaches of nowhere in particular. Perhaps I can moralize in the interim.

Light/no posting for several days. Buckethead, put the beer on ice, lock up the dog, and childproof the terlets: the Two-Centses are coming for a visit!

Not today, because I am working on a secret project.

Fair enough. Heh.

I am not going to San Francisco. Therefore I will not wear flowers in my hair.

The other day, Mavra Stark, the head of the Morris County, CA NOW branch announced, in regard to the double murder charge against Scott Peterson, "If this is murder, well, then any time a late-term fetus is aborted, they could call it murder." Later the national organization distanced itself from these comments, "out of respect for (Peterson's) family and what they're going through."

Apparently, Stark and other pro abortion figures believe that fetal homicide statutes will give anti-abortion advocates ammunition for their fight to overturn Roe v. Wade. At least 23 states have passed fetal homicide laws, all of which exempt more traditional abortion techniques.

I have a few thoughts about this.

One, in light of my earlier posts about constitutionalism, is that there is no right to abortion in the constitution. It ain't there. And given the text of the tenth amendment, that means that the power to legislate on this issue is reserved to the states, or to the people. Even many supporters of Roe agree that it is bad law. Roe is an unwarranted imposition of federal power on a matter that should be regulated by the states.

Two, the body of a "fetus" washed up on the shore. That doesn't sound right, does it? Laci Peterson and her unborn son disappeared on Christmas Eve. Two bodies are discovered months later. All Mavra Stark can think about is how this will give ammunition to her political opponents. Laci Peterson had chosen a name, Connor, for the fetus; but Stark said, "He was wanted and expected, and (Laci Peterson) had a name for him, but if he wasn't born, he wasn't born. It sets a kind of precedent," adding that the issue was "just something I've been ruminating on." This is heartless.

Three, if a baby is born prematurely, even by months, that child is "viable" and can survive with the aid of incubators and other medical technology. Connor Peterson was about as old as my unborn son John Christian when he and his mother disappeared. I know personally, as I have felt him move, that my son is not a lump of tissue. He is not something that can be disposed of on a whim, or because a baby would represent an inconvenience to someone's lifestyle. Connor Peterson would have survived if he had been delivered by c-section last Christmas Eve, so it is right that his death be the cause of a murder charge.