perfidy

My initial impressions, gathered over almost a week, is that fatherhood involves taking naps whenever the baby is asleep, and doing whatever Mrs. Buckethead tells me to do. Occassionally, I get to hold the baby. The only problem arises when I am instructed to do several things, but given no guidance on how to prioritize these tasks. Nevertheless, I am adapting. When I pause for a moment to consider the glories of fatherhood, the sublime joy of holding my son, I am usually interrupted before I get too sappy about everything. This is probably for the best.

The details:

John Christian was born at 12:37pm on Sunday, May 4 (Quatro de Mayo! Yeah!) and on arrival weighed in at 7lbs, 12oz. He is 20 inches long. If you need metric, screw you, I'm busy. After a remarkably easy labor (Mrs. Buckethead's first comment after JC arrived: "That wasn't so bad.") John slid into the world; messy, purple and coneheaded. These problems soon corrected themselves, and now my mom says he's cuter than I was. Obviously, mom is adapting to grandmotherhood with frightening speed. Since getting home from the hospital on Tuesday, we've been in a fugue state, never quite aware of the time or date, and all activities subject to the whim of my son's digestive system (inbound or outbound or both.)

Nevertheless, I can report with absolute confidence that my son is remarkably advanced; mentally, physically and spiritually. My baby can kick your baby's ass. No, seriously. Belinda will probably not be happy with that last thought, so I will sign off before I get in more trouble. I'll will return to a semi-regular posting schedule as a return to work middle of next week.

In the meantime, here are some thoughts on the last week's posts:

Smoking bans suck, and are completely unjustifiable on any grounds. However, if you smoke around my baby, I'll kick your ass.

Johno is correct in his assessment of the RIAA. If they crash my computer while I'm trying to bid on a Baby Bjorn baby carrier (porta bebe in spanish. heh.) on Ebay, I'll kick their ass.

Ghoulardi broadcast from Cleveland, CBS channel 8. Disagree, and I'll kick your ass.

Johno's biography would run to 37 pages, double spaced in 16 point courier new. Mine would be 42 pages. But that's only because I'm older. Mike's would be 142 pages, but only because he's got to fit all that Marxist dialectical bullshit in. I won't kick his ass, because I can't.

Looks like the NYT has gone through a typical learning curve on the Museum looting. They did a similar phreak out on the melting polar cap a while ago. "Its gone!" "Well, a lot of its gone!" Well, Its not really gone at all, sorry." I should kick their ass.

I want the military to return to its proper research direction - more than lethal weapons. Then they can kick ass.

France. Oil. Heh.

Minutemen kicked ass, that's why PC brigades (brigades - what a military term.) are afraid of them. How about another contest: Most unPC team mascots. You must connect your mascot to a specific college or high school. It must offend at least one protected victim group, preferably all. (Like the "Nuke a gay whale for jesus" bumper stickers.) It should make full use of stereotypes, slurs, and slander. Bonus category: make unPC mascots for groups not necessarily considered victim groups. These should follow the same pattern as the regular entries. Prize is getting your ass kicked, and a lollipop. Heh.