perfidy

I've ripped just about all the movies I have that have not been scratched to unusability by children; sat on, broken, or lost: were originally VHS or Tivo'd and burned to disc; are unsuitable because they're full-screen, not widescreen; or were lent out and never returned. The list of those movies below the fold:

24, season 1
28 Days Later
48 Hours
A Christmas Story
A Few Good Men
A Fish Called Wanda
A League of Their Own
A Perfect War
Abbot and Costello Meet the Mummy
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
Adaptation
Addams Family
Addams Family Values
Air Force One
Airplane!
Amadeus
American Splendor
Arsenic and Old Lace
Avatar: The Last Airbender
Backyardigans
Back to the Future 2
Bambi
Barry Lyndon
Barton Fink
Batman
Batman Returns
Battlestar Galactica
Beetlejuice
Better Off Dead
Big Trouble in Little China
Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey
Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure
Black Adder
Black Adder Goes Forth
Black Adder II
Black Adder the Third
Blade II
Bob the Builder
Bond: Casino Royale (original)
Bond: Diamonds Are Forever
Bond: Die Another Day
Bond: From Russia With Love
Bond: GoldenEye
Bond: Never Say Never Again
Bond: On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
Bond: Thunderball
Bond: Tomorrow Never Dies
Bond: You Only Live Twice
Boot Camp
Borat
Brazil
Bridget Jones
Bridget Jones 2
Caddyshack
Caine Mutiny
Casablanca
Casino Royale (new one)
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (original)
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (Johnny Depp)
Charlie’s Angels 2
Charlotte's Web
Chasing Amy
Chicken Run
Clerks
Coal Miner’s Daughter
Cyrano de Bergerac
Deep Cover
Demolition Man
Dennis Leary
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Disney Princess Stories
Doc Hollywood
Doctor Who (A whole season, don't know which one, haven't watched it.)
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
Dora the Explorer
Down Periscope
Dr. Strangelove
Dragnet
Edward Scissorhands
El Mariachi
Elektra
Enter the Dragon
Eragon
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Evil Dead 2
Evolution
Farscape, season 1
Firefly
First Blood
Fisher King
Formula 51
From Dusk ‘Til Dawn
From the Earth to the Moon
Garfield
Garfield 2
Ghostbusters 2
Gun Shy
Half Baked
Hamlet
Hamlet
Happy Gilmore
Hard Hat Harry
Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle
Hellboy
Hellboy 2
Hulk
I, Robot
Idiocracy
Immortal Beloved
Inside 9/11
IQ
Ivanhoe
Jackass, the Movie
Jaws
Jerky Boys
Jewel of the Nile
Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius
Johnny Mnemonic
Judge Dredd
Jurassic Park III
Kids in the Hall, Season 1
Kill Bill Vol.1
Kill Bill Vol.2
King Kong
Labyrinth
Lady and the Tramp
Lawrence of Arabia
Lemony Snicket: A Series of Unfortunate Events
Lethal Weapon 1
Lethal Weapon 2
Lethal Weapon 3
Lethal Weapon 4
Lewis Black
Liar, Liar
Lindbergh Declassified
Little Einsteins
Little Mermaid
Live Free or Die Hard
Lost Boys
Major League 2
Man on Fire
Mars Attacks
Midnight Clear
Midnight Run
Monty Python’s Flying Circus
More than a Game
Mother Night
Mouse Hunt
Much Ado About Nothing
My Fellow Americans
Mystery Men
Napoleon Dynamite
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
National Lampoon’s Eurotrip
National Lampoon's Vacation
Oceans 13
October Sky
Once Upon a Time in China 1
Once Upon a Time in China 2
Once Upon a Time in China 3
Othello
Pale Rider
Paper Moon
Patriot Games
Penguins of Madagascar: Happy King Julian Day
Penguins of Madagascar: I Was a Penguin Zombie
Penn and Teller Get Killed
Penn and Teller’s Cruel Tricks for Dear Friends
Phantoms
Plains, Trains and Automobiles
Point Break
Primer
Puppet Masters
Puppets Who Kill
Ransom
Real Genius
Remo Williams
Resident Evil: Apocalypse
Robocop
Robots
Romancing the Stone
Rome, HBO Series, Season 1
Romeo + Juliet
Romeo and Juliet
Rushmore
Sanjuro
Saving Private Ryan
Scooby-Doo
Scotland, PA
Secret of NIMH
Sesame Street Dinosaurs
Sesame Street: Follow that Bird
Seven Samurai
Short Circuit
Six String Samurai
Solaris
South Park, seasons 1-3
Speed Racer (tv show)
Speed Racer (movie)
Sphere
Spongebob SquarePants: To Love a Patty
Syriana
Take the Money and Run
Tango and Cash
Tequila Sunrise
Terminator 3
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension
The African Queen
The Agony and the Ecstacy
The Big Sleep
The Court Jester
The Crow
The Desperate Hours (original)
The Desperate Hours (stupid remake)
The General
The Hudsucker Proxy
The Incredible Hulk
The Inspector General
The Jerk
The Long Kiss Goodnight
The New Adventures of Batman
The Pentagon Wars
The Princess Bride
The Prisoner of Zenda
The Producers
The Professional
The Right Stuff
The Rocketeer
The Secret of NIMH
The Shawshank Redemption
The Shining
The Three Musketeers
The Transporter
The Usual Suspects
The Whole Nine Yards
The Zero Effect
They Live
Things to Do in Denver when You’re Dead
This is Spinal Tap
Thomas the Tank Engine
Three Outlaw Samurai
Throne of Blood
Thunderheart
Time Bandits
To Have and to Have Not
Top Gun
Toys
Trading Places
Transformers
Transformers II
Twilight Zone the Movie
Twister
Uncle Buck
Underworld
Walk the Line
What Women Want
Wild at Heart
Zelig

I'll eventually get all of these from Netflix. Add these together with the movies from the last post, it's north of 600 discs.

Here, in case you're curious, is the current list of movies and tv shows that I own, and have put on my hard drive:

12 Monkeys
2001: A Space Odyssey
2003 NCAA College Football Championship Game (OSU beats Miami)
2012
3 Days of the Condor
300
9
A Bug’s Life
A Fistful of Dollars
A Knight’s Tale
Air America
Aladdin
Alice in Wonderland (2010)
Alien
Aliens
Always Outnumbered, Always Outgunned
Animal House
Apocalypse Now
Army of Darkness
Atom Age Vampire
Austin Powers: Goldmember
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
Avatar
Back to the Future
Bad Santa
Band of Brothers
Bandits
Barbie and the Diamond Castle
Barbie Fairytopia
Barbie Presents Thumbelina
Batman Begins
Beast from Haunted Cave
Beauty and the Beast
Because of Winn-Dixie
Being John Malkovich
Best in Show
Best of John Belushi
Beyond the Gridiron: History of Woody Hayes
Big
Black Hawk Down
Blade
Blade Runner
Blade Trinity
Blast from the Past
Blazing Saddles
Bloodlust
Blue Steel
Bluebeard
Blues Brothers
Bolt
Bond: Dr. No
Bond: Goldfinger
Bond: The World is Not Enough
Braveheart
Brotherhood of the Wolf
Bubba Ho-Tep
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
Cars
Chappelle's Show, season 1
Charlie’s Angels
Cinderella
Claymation Christmas (Includes Easter and Halloween)
Club Dread
Constantine
Coraline
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Curious George
Dangerous Liaisons
Dark City
Dark Star
David Spade: Take the Hit
Dawn of the Dead
Day Watch
Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid
Dead Men Walk
Death to Smoochy
Destination Moon
Die Hard
Die Hard with a Vengeance
Die Harder
Dog Soldiers
Down from the Mountain
Emma
Enemy of the State
Equilibrium
Eraser
ET
Evil Dead
Fantasia
Fantasia 2000
Fargo
Felix the Cat
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
Fight Club
Finding Nemo
Flight of the Navigator
Flushed Away
Fools Rush In
Full Metal Jacket
G Force
Galaxy Quest
Gattaca
Generation Kill
Ghost Dog
Ghostbusters
Gladiator
Glory
Good Morning Vietnam
Grosse Point Blank
Groundhog Day
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
Heathers
Hell Town
Henry V
Herbie Fully Loaded
Hero
High Noon
Highlander
History of the Cleveland Browns
Hot Fuzz
House of Flying Daggers
House on Haunted Hill
Ice Age
Ice Age 2
Independence Day
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
Iron Giant
Iron Man
Iron Man II
Jacob's Ladder
Jurassic Park
Key Largo
Kung Fu Hustle
Kung Fu Panda
Kung Fu Panda and the Furious Five
Lake Placid
Last Man Standing
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
Looney Tunes Back in Action
Loony Toons Golden Collection
Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Lost in Translation
Madagascar
Major League
Mallrats
Master and Commander
Maverick
Me, Myself & Irene
Meet the Robinsons
Men in Black
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
Miller’s Crossing
Minority Report
Minuscule (Animated Short Movies about bugs)
Miracle
Miss Congeniality
Mission Impossible
Monster House
Monsters vs. Aliens
Monsters, Inc.
Monty Python’s Life of Brian
Monty Python’s Meaning of Life
Monty Python’s Quest for the Holy Grail
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Mulan
Muppets in Space
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
My Cousin Vinny
My Fair Lady
Night Watch
Nightmare Before Christmas
Nightmare Castle
Nothing to Lose
O Brother, Where Art Thou?
Oceans 11
Oceans 12
Office Space
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Outland
Over the Hedge
Patton
Payback
PCU
Penguins of Madagascar: A Christmas Caper
Penguins of Madagascar: New to the Zoo
Penguins of Madagascar: Operation DVD Release
Peter Pan
Phil the Alien
Pinocchio
Pirates of the Caribbean
Pixar Short Movies
Popeye (Cartoons)
Princess and the Frog
Pulp Fiction
Push
Quantum of Solace
Raising Arizona
Ratatouille
Ray
Red Dawn
Red Planet
Reign of Fire
Reservoir Dogs
Revolt of the Zombies
Robin Hood
Rosenkranz and Guildenstern are Dead
Saved
Schoolhouse Rock
Serenity
Shakespeare in Love
Shaun of the Dead
Shrek
Shrek 2
Shrek 3
Sin City
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
Sleeping Beauty
Small Soldiers
Snatch
Sneakers
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
So I Married an Axe Murderer
South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut
Spiderman
Spiderman 2
Spiderman 3
Spongebob SquarePants: Absorbing Favorites
Spongebob SquarePants: Atlantis SquarePantis
Spongebob SquarePants: Pest of the West
Spongebob SquarePants: SpongBob vs. The Big One
Spongebob SquarePants: SpongeBob Goes Prehistoric
Spongebob SquarePants: Spongicus
Spongebob SquarePants: To SquarePants or not to SquarePants
Star Wars Episode I
Star Wars Episode II
Star Wars Episode III
Star Wars Episode IV
Star Wars Episode V
Star Wars Episode VI
Star Wars: Clone Wars, season 1
Stargate
Strange Brew
Strawberry Shortcake
Stripes
Supertroopers
Sweeny Todd the Demon Barber of Fleet Street (original version)
Tears of the Sun
Terminator
Terminator 2
The Abyss
The Big Lebowski
The Bourne Identity
The Bourne Supremacy
The Bourne Ultimatum
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe
The Count of Monte Cristo
The Dark Knight
The Fifth Element
The Godfather
The Godfather Part II
The Godfather Part III
The Golden Compass
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
The Hangover
The History of Buckeye Football
The Hunt for Red October
The Hustler
The Incredibles
The Jungle Book
The Last Boy Scout
The Limey
The Lion King
The Little Mermaid
The Lonely Guy
The Loved One
The Magnificent Seven
The Maltese Falcon
The Man in Black: Johnny Cash Live in Denmark
The Man in the Iron Mask
The Manchurian Candidate
The Mask
The Matrix
The Matrix Reloaded
The Matrix Revolutions
The Monster Maker
The Mummy
The Patriot
The Pest
The Protector
The Ref
The Replacements
The Ringer
The Saint
The Scorpion King
The Sixth Sense
The Talented Mr. Ripley
The Three Stooges Collection
There’s Something About Mary
Tinker Bell
Tomb Raider
Tombstone
Toy Story
Toy Story 2
Trainspotting
Treasure Planet
Unbreakable
Unforgiven
Up
V for Vendetta
Van Wilder
WALL-E
Wallace and Gromit and the Curse of the Wererabbit
Wallace and Gromit in Three Amazing Adventures
Wallace and Gromit: Cracking Contraptions
Wanted
War Tapes
Wayne’s World
Wayne’s World 2
Wedding Crashers
We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story
When Harry Met Sally
Who Framed Roger Rabbit
Wizard of Oz
X-Men
X-Men 2
X-Men 3
Young Frankenstein
Zombieland

Fascinating article on the connection between batshit, sovereignty, empire and the reach of the constitution.

I stumbled on a 969-page typescript treatise which is kept in the library of the US State Department. Flipping through this great leather-bound brick of onion-skin pages, I gradually absorbed that the whole massive volume had been put together in the 1930s by a lawyer working for the US Government who’d been given a killer assignment. Apparently somebody had walked over to the desk of this poor functionary, scribbling away in some basement office, and said something along the lines of: “You know, we have a bunch of islands in the Pacific and the Caribbean—little islands. How about you figure out what the deal is with all these places, legally speaking.” I was holding the result: The Sovereignty of Islands Claimed Under the Guano Act and of the Northwest Hawaiian Islands, Midway, and Wake. And it was splendid to behold: nearly a thousand pages of intricate legal arguments and historical documentation on the strange history of the United States’ nearly invisible, but surprisingly vast, insular empire.

...The Guano Islands Act of 1856 arguably laid the legal groundwork for American imperialism.

I love sentences like that.

You can sort of see it [the language of the act] drift from talking about the waters and other resources “appurtenant” to the guano islands, to being used to talk about the relationship between the islands themselves and the United States. It was basically a fudge. A way of taking the places as possessions, while being careful not to call themterritories, since that implied constitutional entanglements. It was a way of taking the places without really taking responsibility for them within the federal system. The bill also carefully removed the language of “sovereignty,” since that, too, seemed potentially to entail various obligations under domestic and international law. And finally, to get the bill to pass, they also stuck in a bit about how the United States could get rid of the places if it wanted—that there was no commitment to hang onto these islands after the resources had been stripped or their utility otherwise terminated.

And the act passes in that form?

It does, and boom, there are all these wildcatters and roughnecks throwing up the Stars and Stripes on little mounds of manure all over the world. In the end, more than seventy such islands are actually secured under the act, and many more are claimed (unsuccessfully, for one reason or another). But that’s not the interesting part, really—although it’s curious enough, and there are some great stories about what goes down on these islands: shanghaiing Polynesian laborers, piracy (of course), mutiny, etc. Some of the islands are still claimed by various shady types. Indeed, a rather mysterious gentleman contacted me some years ago in connection with his alleged title to an uninhabited guano island in the Caribbean.

Awesome.

The Onion never fails me:

One scroll recounts the demise of Sen. Daniel Inouye (D-HI), who died of exposure and malnutrition within sight of the shores of his beloved island home, while another tells tale of a giant ice floe that carried the entire House Ways and Means Committee into the Arctic night, never to be seen again.

Dangling desperately by a lashing line, Sen. Tom Coburn (R-OK) is said to have fallen into a churning maelstrom off the Horn of Africa while raging at the heavens and shouting, "Fools! Fools! There is no Sword! There is no Bipartisanship! It's all a lie, and we all bound for Death!"

"One of the messages, burnt on the edges and smelling of brimstone, tells how they stopped on a remote island for provisions and were imprisoned by a mighty one-eyed monster who bellowed, 'But there's no way to pay for all this!'" Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) told reporters from atop the Washington Monument, where she awaits the Congressmen's return, clad in widow's black burlap and gazing out to sea. "They seem to have defeated this Cyclops, but of the coveted saber, there is no word."

"And now I've received news that fishermen in Monterey Bay have found in their nets the bloated remains of Barney Frank," Pelosi added.

Tales sung by bards since time immemorial describe the Sword as a master blade forged at Lexington and Concord, broken during the Civil War, reforged by Abraham Lincoln, wielded by the imp Joe McCarthy until he was driven mad, used briefly at a Cleveland City Council meeting during a unanimous vote on a zoning variance, and then lost somewhere in the misty murk of Indochina.

I would apologize abjectly for my dearth of posting, except for the fact that I don't think it has had an adverse impact on, well, anyone. So there.

But, for those who do care, here's what I've been up to. Most of my free time over the last month has been occupied with purging, Soviet-style, my belongings. Eight entire Nissan X-Terra loads of my possessions have been lined up against the wall, shot, and taken to the dump. Their families were billed for the cost of the bullets. An additional five loads have been taken to the Militant wing of the Salvation Army, and one full load of books - 26 liquor boxes worth - were sold or donated as well. There is another two loads of detritus staged next to the garage waiting for their dirt-nap, and I'm going to have to borrow my neighbor's trailer to take a load of busted or worthless furniture and appliances to the landfill.

By comparison, only four loads have been taken to the storage facility. The house is now down to currently-being-used clothes, kitchen stuff, furniture and only ten books. I've also ripped nearly every DVD I own, I've thrown out the cases and someone is going to get an unexpected gift of nearly 400 movies.

It is liberating, nay, exhilarating to get rid of so much crap. My soul feels lighter and cleaner.

So that's to the good.

As far as the reason for all this - it doesn't look like we'll even be making the attempt to purchase another home. From what I've been reading, the housing market collapse is far from over. Even though we could by the same house for half what we paid four years ago, it looks like if we did, we could find ourselves underwater again within a year. Which would suck. Note to self: buy low, sell high.

So I think we'll be renting. I'll lose some tax write-offs, but paying between a third and a half of what I've been paying will more than even that up. Much more, really. And besides, I'll have another child deduction next year.

So I'll be moving within the month, which will continue to cut into blogging time.  But less so, since I've already gotten through the obsessive difficult part.

In discussing the Fred Phelps menagerie of douche-canoes, my friend Uncle Jimbo has this to say about our beloved gubmint:

Government is a blunt and stupid tool run by blunt and stupid tools.