America’s Dip Cup

West Virginia is second only to New Jersey in the abuse leveled at it from the decent states. And just like not everyone can be thick-headed, rude Mafioso-wannabes living in a pestilential, polluted industrial nightmare; not everyone can be inbred, uncultured rednecks living in abject poverty amidst the wreckage of a once beautiful landscape. There is, thank heaven, only one West Virginia.

  • America’s Dip Cup
  • The Robert E. Byrd Memorial State
  • The Mountainish State
  • It seemed like a good idea at the time
  • Got Teeth?
  • My other car is West Virginia
  • The State of Brotherly, and Sisterly, Love
  • Almost Poland
  • Not Just Strip Mines and Rednecks Any More. Well, Okay, Still Just Strip Mines And Rednecks.
  • Because somebody has to make Virginia look good
  • The Manhandle State
  • Oh, honestly, people. We have a world-class orchestra. We have a university.
  • Where Senator Robert E. Byrd Sends Your Federal Tax Money
  • Come see our new paved roads! You paid for them!
  • Now with electicity
  • Where girls and grizzly bears both lick their paws
  • We Figured There Was Enuff "Norths" and "News”
  • Fighting Never Proved Anything, Except Who’s Better
  • Where "family values" has a slightly different meaning
  • One Big Happy Family
  • Why’d we have to throw out the good part of the state?
  • That’s “Appalachian-American” to you, fucko
  • We... hey, Joe-Bob, pass me the chewin' tobakky, willya?
  • New Jersey is down on its knees before Almighty God giving thanks that we are in the union
  • Deliverance was filmed in South Carolina; Indeed, Our Rate of Murderous Inbred Banjoists Is Well Below That of Massachusetts
  • Where cars up on blocks outnumber cars that run 3-1
  • West Virginia: Better When You’re Drunk
  • The non-wealthy, non-slave-ownin’, white trash Virginia
  • Hateful, Talentless, War-Lovin’ Trailer Trash
  • Yes, you can live in a trailer on a 45 degree slope. Why?
  • Duct tape is the new chrome
  • It's All Relative in West Virginia
  • New Jersey is the West Virginia of the North
  • Hey, we’re an oppressed minority, too
  • West Virginia is the Best Virginia
  • Readin’, ‘Ritin’, and Route 77 to Cleveland
  • West Virginia is Bigger than France
  • West Virginia Bathes More than France
  • Ain’t No Lovin’ Like West Virginia Lovin’
  • The Hillbilly Rape State
  • Montani semper leperi
  • Weird, Woebegone, West Virginia
  • Semper Redneckius
  • Almost Heaven, for very generous values of “almost”
  • We know God hates us, ‘cause coal is so much cheaper than oil
  • Just think if we was rich like them ay-rab shakes. Damitalltohell.
  • The fightenest, drinkenest state in the Union
  • The Moonshine State
  • You ain’t a revenoor, is ya?
  • The Commonwealth of Byrd
  • Byrdania
  • The People’s Republic of Kleegle-Byrd
  • Byrdmark
  • Byrdland
  • Byrdatopia
  • Byrdania
  • Die Grosser Byrdreich

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 3

§ 3 Comments

3

Well your skullduggery certainly did pay off.

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