perfidy

Since you asked, the most turgid and pretentious turd in Anglophone literature, bar none, is Infinite Jest, by that charlatan David Foster Wallace.

[pre-emptive update]: Speaking of David Eggers, you should all read this McSweeny's piece, which is a transcript of unused bonus audio commentary for the Fellowship Of The Ring DVD by Howard Zinn and Noam Chomsky.

[further update] Lest I seem the philistine, I should point out that "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius" is the only fiction book I have ever flung across a room in disgust. A library copy, too. Hey, at least I tried.