perfidy

See? This guy gets it. Even though Pittsburgh is doomed in the event of zombie infestatation, it seems that someone there is aware of the impending threat to humankind posed by the robots. Although the article in question and the gentleman's book, titled "How to Survive a Robot Uprising: Tips on Defending Yourself Against the Coming Rebellion," is about robots generally, the information contained therein certainly applies to space robots as well.

"Any robot could rebel, from a toaster to a Terminator, and so it is crucial to learn the strengths and weaknesses of every robot enemy," author Daniel H. Wilson warns in "How to Survive a Robot Uprising: Tips on Defending Yourself Against the Coming Rebellion."

What makes the book cool -- and unlike some other survival books -- is that Wilson is an actual roboticist, who got his Ph.D. from Carnegie Mellon last month. While his scenarios are outlandish -- describing attacks by humanoid robots, some of them with creepy tails, some that can climb walls or swim -- the research on how to build and attack the robot creatures is quite real.

*snip*

Some of the features of these service bots can be found in a robotic dog named Aibo
From the get-go, Wilson's 178-page book is clearly for the humor section; the graphics give it away with pictures of old school video-game robots zapping humans with lasers. It's riddled with B-movie language about "the nefarious robot mind" and survival tips that are closer to "The Onion" than a science book. (A tip for telling whether a new acquaintance is a real person or a humanoid robot: "Does your friend smell like a brand-new soccer ball?")

Some of the tips are real.

A robot trying to find you will use thermal imaging based on the roughly 91-degree temperature of human skin, so smearing yourself in cool mud will confuse them. If being chased by an unmanned robot vehicle, flee to a rustic, unmapped area with lots of obstacles. If your robot "smart" house -- one wired with video surveillance and computer gear -- tries to trap you, chop your way out with an ax and don't take your cell phone, because the house will track you with it.

Wilson hatched the idea for the book in the Squirrel Hill Cafe, better known as the Squirrel Cage, less well known as the place where they used to have a bottle of rye whiskey just for me. That place makes you wicket smaaaaht, let me tell ya.

The Ministry implores all readers to support Mr. Wilson in his efforts to educate humanity. That is all.