perfidy

Everyone knows that when it comes to capricious backstabbing, random wantonness and general perfidiousness, nobody beats Ma Nature. The muscular and talented Phil Dennison has the details on some fairly badass relief efforts aimed at helping the victims of Hurricane Charley, and, we presume, the victims of Hurricane II: The Strange And Terrible Revenge Of Frances.

Great Western Media Satans Clear Channel and MTV have each launched a high-profile celebrity auction to raise money to aid the Red Cross' relief efforts in storm-hit areas. MTV's auction (full monty here) has items from the Video Music Awards, including everything from a sweaty wifebeater worn by Nelly (eww!) to guitars signed by Yoko Ono and Gwen Stefani (dude!!) to a Saturn VUE signed by everybody and their mother (sweet!!!!). Like seriously: everybody and their mother, Christina Aguilera, Carson Daly, Gwyneth Paltrow, Dave Navarro, Hulk Hogan, Will Smith, LL Cool J, Ludacris and the Beasties being among the signers.

ClearChannel's auction is a guitar bonanza, featuring guitars signed by everyone from The Nuge and Tenacious D to Alan Jackson. I even found one signed by JohnO, which is odd as I didn't even know I was in Five For Fighting! Where's my royalty checks and songwriter splits, dammit!? And why have I been writing such lameass songs?

If auctions aren't your thing, or if it's a ramen-in-the-dark-hiding-from-the-landlord kind of month, please consider donating to the Red Cross directly. The last tropical storm deluged my brother-in-law's family with ten feet of flood waters, and if Frances turns juuuuust a little to the north of it's present course my sister will have to run like hell for the high ground. Maybe these storms don't affect every one of us-- least of all those of us with the good sense not to live near the water in the Southern states-- but as REM taught us in "Everybody Hurts," human suffering is not only subjective but universal too.

If nothing else, bid on something for the queer satisfaction of seeing Clear Channel do something decent for a change.