perfidy

Minister Geeklethal cued me in to an interesting article from the English-language Arab News, "The Middle East's Leading English Language Daily." In this opinion piece, the editor holds forth on the proper mindset for beating your wife.

The beating which is only prescribed in the case of disobedient wives is intended to serve as a remedy in an unusual situation. If the husband feels the wife is behaving in a disobedient and rebellious manner, he is required to rectify her attitude — first by kind words, then gentle persuasion and reasoning. Beating as a last resort must never be understood to entail using a stick or any other instrument that would cause pain or injury.

A rebellious woman who is not moved by kind works, persuasion and admonition is a woman of no feeling and must therefore be punished by beating. Psychiatrists tell us of people, including women, for whom a cure lies in beating.

The controversy over the beating of disloyal and rebellious women is part of the campaign against Islam. If beating disobedient wives was advocated by Western scientists, it would have been widely supported by the same people who criticize Islam and special centers would have been set up all over the world to train husbands on how to beat their wives.

Our scholars should focus on explaining to people, especially the young, the real teachings of Islam in order to avoid causing uncertainty and confusion.

It is good that the interpreters of the religion of peace realize that there are two kinds of beatings, and forbid at least one of them to husbands. Instructional beatings at least have the saving grace of providing instruction - whereas run-of-the-mill, smack the bitch for shits and giggles beatings just leave bruises.

Back in Ohio, we would occasionally run across people who clearly "need beating." I now understand that what we were feeling there was a divine inspiration to administer instructional beatings. If only we had read the Koran, we would have been empowered to act on that nudging from the almighty rather than let cretins run around untutored.

It is good for my safety that I am a Christian, seeing as any attempt to deliver admonitory beatings to Mrs. Buckethead would result, not in her adopting a more humble and obedient posture, but in me getting a grade A tae kwon do ass whuppin'.