perfidy

Virginia has been my home for most of a decade now, and while Virginia has its charms (among them being a hell of a lot more jobs than my home state of Ohio) there is still much to ridicule in my state of domicile. I could speak of the starkly horrific traffic, but that problem is really more of a DC metro issue than one for the state as a whole. But hey, there's still just tons to make fun of:

• Virginia is for Lepers
• Sort of the South, but with fewer guns
• South Carolina may have bolted first, but we made the Confederacy
• Fireworks! Cigarettes! Ham!
• Don’t tell any one, but Queen Betsy got around a bit
• Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
• My Virginia is Itchy
• Please don't confuse us with West Virginia!
• Birthplace of the Slave-Ownin' Presidents
• Tobacco Is Only a Hobby
• Not so much Virginia as Virginesque
• East Virginia
• Home of the CIA. Aaah, damn, now we have to kill you
• Virginia is for lovers. No, really.
• Like West Virginia, but without the confusing “West”
• We're Better Than Maryland, Damn It!
• Objects in Virginia are closer than they appear
• I can stop growing tobacco whenever I want
• Vagina, Virgin, Virginia
• Everything historical happened here. Don't even front.
• Most famous speaker of our state motto: John Wilkes Booth
• Yeah, it sounds kinda like 'vagina' ha ha we get it
• Every Minister has been here, yet most managed to make it out
• Actually it's more like Fairfax County, and everyplace else
• OMG I can't believe I moved to this hell hole! Oh wait, I was just in Maryland for a minute ... whew
• Virginia ... where time serving bureaucratic hacks go to get retired in place
• Home of the NRA ... now git off my lawn!
• Lick my Virginia
• Gateway to Montana
• We would have won the Civil War if wasn't for you meddling kids
• Birthplace of Liberty, just like Montgomery, AL is the birthplace of the civil rights movement
• Home of the Gold Mining Interpretive Center of Goldvein, Virginia
• Home for the illegals ambitious enough to leave the Carolinas, but still too lazy to make New York
• Colder than you think, and not half as friendly
• The Real South. If you're from Connecticut
• Four centuries of slavery, rebellion, and willful ignorance
• Don't touch my Virginia
• My Virginia smells funny
• It’s really more of a middle-aged dominion
• At least we’re not New Jersey
• Do you smell fish?
• Give me Liberty, or Give me Death. But not for negroes
• You've got a friend in the CIA
• Gateway to the Confederacy, as Grant proved
• Virginia ... birth place of the striped shirt ... LOOK AT IT!
• Home to losers of two civil wars
• The South will rise again! And, no doubt, be ground down to dust once more
• Home of the Virginia big-eared bat, and other women
• Sic semper leperi