perfidy

What can you say about Nebraska? Well, this:

• In the middle parts of fortune
• You're Not in Kansas Anymore! Not that you’d notice
• More culture and learning than you can shake a stick at, plus the stick
• We named our rivers "White" and "Republican" - do we need to hit you with a brick or what?
• Yeah, corn. And under the corn, thermonuclear warhead-tipped, MIRVed Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles. So shut the fuck up about the corn.
• "N" is for "Knowledge!"
• We’ll get a sea coast if we have to destroy Kansas, Oklahoma and Texas to do it
• We're Located Somewhere In The Center
• More Corn than Kansas, Less Bombs than Oklahoma
• "Wildfire Free Since...oh, shit..."
• We're only half as boring as our state sounds
• Where Elephants Roam the CornFields
• We’re glad that Jerk Marlin Perkins is dead
• Ask About Our State Motto Contest
• The geographical center of the USA, and therefore, the universe
• The Flat Water State
• The Delaware of the Plains
• The Plainsy Plains Plains State
• More than just college football. Well, ok, just college football.
• We think we’re not New Jersey
• Home of the Cow-Tipping World Championship
• We put the ‘Mid’ in ‘Midwest’
• There are ten times as many illegal immigrants as Nebraskans
• The "looks kinda like Boba-Fett's spaceship" state
• We still want our corner back from Colorado
• Proud Home of Identical Twin Entertainers Fred Astaire and Malcolm X
• When you think of flat, think Nebraska!
• We believe in Evolution, because we see it stalled to the south
• Nebraska, possibilities...endless. Roads... endless
• The Bug-Eating State
• We gave the world Kool-Aid, and, indirectly, the Holy Purple Jesus
• Our tractors have air conditioning
• If civilization collapses tomorrow, we’ll be the Mongol Hordes by next Tuesday
• And Bill Callahan will be the Great and Dread Khan

[wik] Thanks to GeekLethal and Princess Cat, who contributed mockery and derision to this installment of, "Hey, let's make fun of a state."