perfidy

Since this project began, I have been looking forward to this moment. The Phallic Symbol State, Florida, is perhaps my least favorite state. So it pleases me no end to present to you, the gentle reader, a couple suggestions for new and improved mottoes for the soi disant Sunshine State:

• God's Waiting Room
• More Lizards than People
• Hey you kids, get off of my state!
• Now With 25% More Cubans!
• Ask Us About Our Grandkids
• You're dying to get here
• Senior citizen discounts available
• More than just a great place to die
• Half a Million Cubans Can't Be Wrong
• The Gunshine State
• Come, enjoy the humidity
• We're America's Penis
• So close, you can smell Fidel
• The state with a hint of Ben Gay
• Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free... and we'll send 'em back to you free of charge!
• America's Dangling Chad
• We make the US look like it's pissing on Cuba
• Where the 3 R's are for Rednecks, Retirees and Raft Arrivals
• The snow capital of the US
• Come See Your Grandparents Before They Die
• Yes, that is a cabbage on our flag
• Come Retire With Us
• Bugs as big as your head
• We hate Jimmy Buffet
• At least we're not New Jersey
• Nascar, lizards, and drunk sorority chicks. What's not to love?
• But it's a wet heat. Oh, wait a minute...
• More than just old people waiting for hurricanes
• Proud home of Janet Reno and Stepin Fetchit
• Everyone Hates Us

[wik] Bonus slogans!

• America's Wang
• 3 in 5 episodes of COPS filmed right here!
• A swimming pool with every home; a meth lab in every Motel 6
• Mosquitos outnumber oxygen atoms 2:1
• Sea-cows? Hardly - manatee milk is vile
• Now with drive-through hip replacement
• The 'it's like breathing through a wet towel' state